Why Me!!!!

I thought I had the perfect marriage until about five years ago.  The love of my life decided to choose his wild lifestyle with his druggie friends than his own wife and kids.  I feel all alone in this world because my best friend of 18 yrs  deserted me for reasons he cannot give me.  I know he loves his family, but he has an additiction that I cannot help him with until he help hisself.  We are now separated because my sons do not need that type of enviroment .  I just do not understand how after his upbringing of not having a father in his life due to his father also being an addict, would he continue this deadly pattern.  When does the cycle stop.  I seen a dark side of him that I never want to see again.  I just need some words of encouragement from all of you.

God Bless
caluv2000 caluv2000
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 9, 2010

I have been addicted to drugs before. Before my marriage, and family, but addicted nonetheless. I can tell you from experience that he will only break the addiction when he is ready to. Normally, for an addict that takes a very bad experience. Sometimes then, it still doesn't work. My drug of choice was LCD, and it didn't agree with me. I suffered 5 bad trips, and if you haven't been through that, it can be life altering. The last bad trip was catastrophic. I was on this bad trip for 5 straight days. I got up during the last days of the trip and decided to move to another state with my Aunt to get away. It worked, until I went back 4 months later to get my GED. I got my GED, and tripped again to celebrate. This time it almost cost me my life. I moved back, and have been clean 10 years now. <br />
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The only advice I have for you, is if you love him, you need to pray for him. If you are not religious, I understand that. But that's all I can offer you. Do not give up on him, and do not set out for divorce. I know you are lonely, and that is understandable. But what has ahold of him is something that nothing can relinquish. Just pray for him, focus on your boys, and make yourself happy. He will come out of this, one way or another. Good luck!

I am so sorry. I feel like I too lost the love of my life but mine was to someone else. I feel like I can say I know what youre going through. It is the hardest test any of us who truly love someone will ever have to face. I too came here looking for encouragement and answers. All I can say is your kids will always remember who put them first. You will be blessed for that. The rest, I too am looking for answers. Keep your chin up :)