My Spirit Is Broken.

I think this is a good description of me. Circumstance's, events have just sucked the life right out of me.

closedin closedin
7 Responses Aug 20, 2008

My spirit is completely broken and at 58 years of age I have finally had it with living in denial of just how horrible my life is and has actually been and I have given up on pretending that there might be hope out there, there is not, there is nothing at all.<br />
Right from the beginning my life has been terrible, I was an unwanted child born to an alcoholic father and an anxiety ridden and obsessive compulsive mother and a sibling much older than myself who was jealous of me from the moment I was born and who tried to poison me and make it look like it was my fault when I was young and she was babysitting me. I was sexually abused by a male neighbor from around four years old until I was eleven and being male this has caused great mental torment and problems in my life. I was sent away to a boarding school when I was only ten and lost contact with my friends. I have been married and divorced twice and have no children of my own. I recently found out that a so-called good friend had betrayed me more than once over a period of many years. In the recent past, even though I was honest with the income tax people and reported all the money I earned while working abroad they came after me like I was a willful criminal and forced me to sell my house to pay my outstanding taxes even thought I offered to set up a scheduled payment plan. Yes my life totally sucks and a recent new employer lied to me about a new job which turned out to be less than one day a week of work and that put me in a position where I had to apply for unemployment insurance and then a job came along which seemed good at first but is also turning out to be full of problems and contradictions and a culture of backstabbing and gossip. I have reached the end of my rope.<br />
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Signed<br />
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My spirit is also very faint because of the recession. Work is thin and I live on my savings. My style of life is all wrong and I don't know which way to turn to get back on track :-( are so right! I know this because from the time I expressed my feeling here I am already feeling alot more whole than I did at that time.<br />
I slide back and forth on this subject. Having to learn that you are the only one that can control the way you feel on any given subject is all we can do.

I won't begin to explain the problems in my life, nor would anyone want to hear, but let me tell you they are many, and for each a thousand tears. <br />
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Let me tell you I've thought my spirit is broken, but I now realize that a spirit can never be broken as long as you are still alive. It may be faint at the moment, but that doesn't mean it could rise up like a phoenix from the ashes at a moments notice. <br />
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Don't ever think your spirit is broken. It is just dormant. Pain will subside, and even if it is replaced with more pain, there will always be hope, and dreams, and imagination, and there will always be others, somewhere, to hold our hands, and to guide us along. Before you know it there will be others and the good energy will flow and you'll smile like you haven't since you were a young child. It just happens to us, when we least expect it, if we are willing to accept it, if we're willing to see.<br />
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Don't believe that your spirit is broken. It can't be.<br />
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Having life sucked out of me in alot of area's right now!<br />
It hurts all at once and seems overwhelming when it comes at you from all angles!

Me too...I guess it-oh no I know it is work when you are married to that person.

I know how you feel. A broken spirit is like being spiritually dead. I hope that you can fly again.