Broken Spirit

I am just coming on to middle age and it seems to me that the only thing that I have accomplished is to back myself into a corner in life.  I have tried the "normal" lifestyle in that I got married, had kids, have a long career and became a very spiritual person.  I had things figured out, at least thats what I thought.  I have come to believe that everything that I have done in life is meaningless.  I have friends that truly love me, I have a family that is there when I need them, which is not that often.  Being the alpha sibling my family members tend to look up to me for advice and direction.  I feel angry at this because I don't have a ******* clue myself as to what to do about **** in my own life let alone try to figure out someone else's path.  I am simply unhappy with where my life ended up.  I know that I have the power to change my circumstance, I just don't have the desire.  I don't want to say that I have given up...but I basically have.  I go around in life with my happy mask on and rarely let people in for fear that they will finally figure out that I am all messed up.  I have lost my spirituality.  It used to be stong in me and for some's gone.  I can't seem to figure out how to get back there, even though I know that it's right there for me to take...all I have to do is reach out....I just can't do it. me...I'm losing it!

juniordenny juniordenny
36-40, M
4 Responses Aug 20, 2008

Solid advice, Coyote. Writing things down always helps, no matter what the content of the list.

hmmm... sounds like you could use someone to listen, too, findingmyself. Just as you have offered to Denny, I offer to you.

The world can be a cruel place. I used to have faith, and I have a broken spirit as well. Married, children and all. I feel your pain and hope that someday you can see that God's Plan for you is bigger than yours.<br />
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If you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen.<br />
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God Bless <br />
Don't give up, You are loved. Jesus loves you.

Creator hears, Denny, and believes in you.