In Memory of Tommie, My Babycat.

 I was 4 when my life changed, and I'll never forget the day. Mom was picking up my brother and I from daycare. She said she had a surprise for us, and it was in the car. I dashed down the 3 steps, so eager. I looked through the windshield and there, standing atop the passenger headrest, was a tabby kitten. "A KITTY!" I shouted. Oh, I was so excited!

Years pass, and I hit my teenage rebellion stage at 15, and I moved in with my grandparents. I cried every night for weeks. I missed having that warm fuzz-ball snuggled at my feet. I'd go visit when I could, but it just wasn't the same.

Age 18. I was finally an adult, and I wanted a tattoo. My mother was against them, but... rebellious teenager. I wanted one. She was upset that I wanted to get "I *heart* mom" on my arm, and she argued with me about it. So I said, "Fine. Tommie won't yell at me. I'll put him on me." So, off to the tattoo shop I went! It took 30 minutes of buzzing in my ear, and it was finished. My babycat, always with me, curled up next to a ball of yarn on my right arm. My first baby.

December 13, 2007. My new son was nearly 7 months old. I had moved back into my mother's house earlier that year, and Tommie was my shadow. I noticed he was sleeping a lot. I thought it was just his getting old. The next few days just spiraled out of control for me. Tommie wouldn't eat. He couldn't go to the littler box. He'd become incontinent. And we'd noticed he was struggling to breath. 

December 17, 2007. We rushed Tommie to the vet. The whole ride, tears threatened to spill. But I would stay strong for him. I whispered over and over "it'll be ok, baby. the doctor will make you better. it'll be ok..." But I knew... We got to the vet and they immediately did an x-ray. I knew there was something wrong with his breathing, but I had no idea how bad it really was. The vet looked at me and the dead expression in his eyes told me I was going to lose my best friend. "His lung capacity is 1/6 of what it should be. He is suffering terribly." My mother held my hand and told me it was time. We had to end his suffering. "Would you like to hold him?" The vet asked. I nodded. They brought him out with an IV in his arm. His eyes were wide, his shallow breaths coming too quick. I held him close, told him I loved him with all my heart. "You'll always be my first baby," I whispered as they injected the IV. He stilled. The vet put the stethescope to his chest. "He's gone..." 
I let the tears spill, rocking my babycat, as if he could feel me trying to comfort him. But his suffering was over. His pain was gone. And I was alone.
I laid him on the cold metal table and rubbed his tummy one last time. I kissed his head, told him I loved him. I took his collar, with its bell and ID tag jingling with every movement, and held it close to my heart, as if without it, I would die. With one last look at my fuzzy baby I walked out the door.

My mom made arrangements for him to be cremated and his ashes returned to us. 

His ashes rest in a tin atop my dresser, with a picture of he and I behind it, and his collar hanging above on the wall. I miss him terribly. I never wanted to imagine my life without him in it. And it came too soon. Way too soon. He was 17 human-years old, but he will forever be in my heart.
 

WinterEvolett WinterEvolett
18-21, T
1 Response Feb 10, 2009

I feel soooooo sad, please know that you will see Tommie when you get to the other side.....we are reunited with friends / family AND our beloved pets !