That Feeling

It's that feeling that you can't explain. The one that tells you he has been unfaithful. You know its true. Yet you still doubt yourself.

If you know it's true, then why do you question it? Is it because you have no actual facts to base it on? Or is it because you just don't want it to be true?

How many times does that small quiet voice have to tell you before you will listen? Has it ever been wrong before? Why is it so hard to trust what it is telling you?

You KNOW it's true. You KNOW it has never been wrong before. Then why is it you don't KNOW?

That small quiet voice is there for a reason. You already have the truth. Now it's up to you what you are going to do with it.

He isn't going to tell you the truth. Why bother arguing with him? You don't need him to validate what you already have the answers to. Do what you need to do for you. He is!
totallytea totallytea
51-55, F
12 Responses Jul 16, 2011

married 31 years he is 57 and lives with our 30 year old cleaner from our apt who is married to our former maintennce man. she has 6 kids taken from her because of meth anyone top that and live in my lakehouse..

U need some **** :/, do him what he did u :))

I've been with my man for 8 years. We grew up together. Every year he's cheated on me and now he tells me shes pregnant. We have 2 kids together. A 6 year old and a 3 week old. I don't have a job or even a phone cause he had a fit about it. I don't have any family. I feel so trapped. I want to leave. He says he wont choose between us but he doesn't want to leave me. I don't want to live like this. I feel so alone.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Message me if you want to talk.

Hey, my ex cheated on me with her ex "to let me know how it feels to be cheated on" when I didn't cheat on her or any girl ever in my life. It ruined our four year relationship. So be sure. Don't go get him back unless you're positive he's cheating. You might crush the guy like I got hurt! If he's cheating on you, he's an *******. If you're loving and caring for him and having sex with him he has NO reason or excuse to cheat. If you're a ***** to him and never make him happy or please him then maybe you're not right for each other! what?

Do what you believe is best for you.

I was the other woman ...he left her. Not for me but because the marriage no longer functioned in a healthy way.

Are you with him now? email me.

Don't you feel like a selfish person for knowing you're gonna hurt a girl so much? If my gf cheated on me, it'd break my heart so bad. She wouldn't though. I never felt so sure of it in my life with a girl. I'm only 25, she's 34 and she never had a guy cuddle with her, she had a string of bad bfs and the last abused her so bad. But i'm soo good to her, she's so happy to have me, I try tell her just being her makes me happy and she doesn't have to do so much for me to please me. She goes out of her way to please me so I won't leave her but I want her forever and we're trying for a baby. I just want her to know I never loved a girl like I love her. I never felt the same when I snuggled with my ex. When I snuggled with her, I just feel like ten times more love than my best ex.

Yes we are still together ...... it's been over three years now .... :-).!!

2 More Responses

I am a firm believer that you need to establish fact before you assume the worst, to quote "A Scandal in Bohemia": <br />
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.<br />
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Personally, I say set a trap just to be sure.

I agree with you. But there is a reason we have that inner voice and we need to listen to it. Sometimes we aren't hearing what it is saying, just what we think it is saying. Therefore, we do need to pursue our quest for the truth.

I know she has to know for certain, but honestly, why be married to someone if ya need to set a trap on them? That's not love! If ya feel like he's cheating maybe you're not right for each other, even if he's not cheating; But, I assume you got alot invested in each other so ya can't just dump him, but if he was a bf i'd say dump him, when ya love a lass ya can trust her. My gf is the only girl I ever trusted. She's been hurt so bad and is so good to me. I treat her so good. I love showing her off to my friends cause she's so pretty and thinks she's so ugly which I think is sooo ******* sweet. It's a big relief from hot girls knowing their hot and thinking their too good for the average guy!

"after all, the best predictor of a person's future behavior is his/her past behavior. "<br />
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This is actually not true or nothing would ever change and all would be hopeless! The best predictor for a person's future behavior is the level of EFFORT they put into changing their behavior. <br />
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Your post is contradictory. In one paragraph you mention the above and then you rant about evidence and how the court system works. If the above is true like you say, judges wouldn't need any evidence because, after all a person's past behavior would predict the future.. just lock them away and throw away the key.... <br />
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I understand the basic concept you were trying to convey to the original poster but your message got lost in your contradiction and then your attitude... well the jury is still out on that one! :)

Typical male point of view. Obviously, you are not intuitive or you would know that you should ALWAYS believe what your intuition tells you! It's there for a reason! I don't give a f*** what you think about my post, but if you don't have something to contribute in a positive way, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from commenting.

Wow. I'm sorry, I just don't know what else to say. It's been a long time since I read something as stupid as "You don't need to have proof because your intuition will never fail you". That has to be a typo, right? I mean, gut feelings and intuition fail people all the time. That's why criminal courts, civil courts, and small children with IQ's over 70 don't lend it any credibility, because it's the least credible evidence out there. You spelled intuition right too, so this can't be a joke. Wait, you're having me on, right!? Wow, you actually made me believe for a second that you believed that yourself! Good one!

I don't need to do any of that. My small quiet voice has told me what I need to know. It isn't worth the arguing and having him lie to me anyway. I trust my intuition 100%. He is not cheating on me now, he did in the past. The point I was making is that you don't need to have proof because your intuition will never fail you.

I wonder if that's why you're wondering in the first place? You were the other woman once before, so obviously you're going to be hypersensitive to any possibility that he has another woman now that he's with you. I'm not disagreeing with you; after all, the best predictor of a person's future behavior is his/her past behavior. However, gut instinct is far from hard, physical, ob<x>jective evidence. Personally, I can't believe that you married a guy with a propensity to cheat in the first place, but I would argue that if this is a relationship that you want to keep... for some reason..., then you make sure sure that you have all of your ducks in a row before you start making accusations. Unfortunately, gut instinct is far from physical, ob<x>jective evidence. Can you afford a PI? Or maybe find a friend to help you follow him? I hate the idea of involving yourself in all this cloak and daggar stuff because it's a sure sign that the trust is gone in the relationship, but seeing it, or not seeing it go down is likely the only way that you'll ever be able to know for sureI guess what I'm assuming is that you will either see that he is not cheating on you and learn to trust him, or you'll see that he is and you'll take appropriate steps.

That was my point. I don't need anything at all to know because I already do. I was his OW and now I'm his wife.