Cheating Too Close To HomeI find cheating to be a weak characteristic in anyone, and something that I have never done. I also always said that if a man ever cheated on me, he was out. Just like that. Then it happened, my man decided to cheat. He didn't just cheat with some stranger or co worker, he did so with his best friend's wife's, sister. Yep, not only was I betrayed by my man, but also by 2 people that I trusted and know very well.
This betrayal was too close to home because I still have to see her at all the big holidays & birthdays! So about 6 times/year, I put on my best "I don't give a "f" about you" face and walk around a party as if I don't care.
Because she is so close to all parties involved, and yes, I knew her well too. In fact, I thought that we were friends! Ha ha. Anyway, if I made a public scene at one of these functions, I would have been in the wrong. "psycho" & " off the hook" So, I wrote her on facebook. I wrote her a long letter about how much I wanted to fight her, but couldn't. I let her know that she probably saw my man as her sloppy drunken hook up, when in actuality he completed our family. I also let her know that by writing this letter, I was going to be done harbouring resentment towards her. And as long as it never happened again, I wanted to be done thinking about it. Because in all honesty, the only one that was really hurt by all of it was me. I was the only one beating myself up over it, not my man. I was the only one festering about it, no one else but me. Thinking about it took valuable time away from my life and my children, and I was sick of thinking about it.
So, it's not easy to go to these functions. It's not easy to have a good time and not be looking where the two of them are at all times. But its getting easier. I think its getting easier because I just don't care as much as I once did. Maybe I'm realising that if he does this to me, what good is he? I don't want to be so negatively affected by the callous and disrespectful actions of others.
Who knows if I will be able to get over this. Since I feel so strongly against the action itself, I kind of doubt it.
rottenrobi 41-45, F 25 Responses 8 Apr 24, 2012