Venting

im tired of this gag reel playing in my head imagining my husband sleeping with this other woman. Every time i start to enjoy a convo something triggers this movie in my head of him and her having sex! I wish i could slap; the sh** out of her over and over and over again then spit in her face to disrespect her like they have disrespected me. I want to punch both of them in the face. I cant even talk to my husband without images popping up in my head of the infedelity and im sick of picturing it! It makes me feel sick to my stomach every time!! Then not only that but i told him i want more phone calls and on the phone more since apparently he had a too much time on his hands before since he had time to mess with her and be on the phone with her. Even though he has agreed and he does it, all he does is complain about it. Ever sonce i told him i would try to work on our marriage its like he thinks he can slack off... NEWS FLASH YOU STILL HAVE TO WIN ME BACK!!!! He will give one word answers and act totally uninterested in conversing not even trying to hold a conversation. Then i call him on it and he complains that we are on the phone all the time and he tired of holding the phone since we dont even have anything to talk about. lol then he says he likes how it was before when we would talk only when we had something to say and then get off... funny how when i did that you chose to spend more time on the phone with another woman or in her company! I already feel no emotion so i dont feel love or hate at this point (except for my daughter who i love very much) so if he doesnt want to make an effort to make me happy after he messed up WITHOUT COMPLAINING then its nothing to change my mind and leave him. But thats ok i will let him see our daughter for Christmas and new years and if after all that i dont see him trying i will go right back to my sisters half way across the country and end it for real. crying while he didnt know if i was leaving him is one thing but continuing to make me feel loved wanted and happy afterwards is another and im beginning to feel he wont do it. THIS IS A VENT SESSION IT IS MEANT TO SOUND MEAN BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND AT WILL WITHIN THE NEXT HOUR OR YEAR OR ANYTIME IN BETWEEN LOL good day
heavenslilangl14 heavenslilangl14
26-30, F
4 Responses Dec 10, 2012

I would love to know why happened I'm in a very similar situation right now and I'm so distraught smh

Just in case you are still around somewhere...
The military will give you a divorce, and most of his money if you can prove your husbands infidelity. Considering he got a child on someone else, I'd say you made your case.
So if you want to leave him babe...make sure you do it while he is still in the service. Uncle Sam hates a cheater, he will pay for his dickery.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the same thing right now. 15 years with this man and married for 4 just last week. The images...my God, I tell you, they drive me crazy! Everyday, every night. In my case, there were multiple women. I already knew, but couldn't prove it, but the truth all finally came out. He denied for months and stuck to his story. He tried to show he was changing for like one month literally and then felt he had done enough and as he told me, I should just learn to "forgive and let go, and stop throwing things up in his face." I had surgery in March, he didn't even have the decency to remember let alone come with me. My aunt took me and stayed with me. Mind you he had all the time in the world to run and cater to those b!t$*s he was messing with, spending all of his money and not being able to pay rent, leaving us with hardly any food in the house, and me struggling to pay all the bills alone, but his own wife didn't mean enough to him to see whether she lived or died...Anyway, I finally decided to forgive and let go....so many emotions, hurt, betrayal, not to mention he blamed me for him cheating! I finally told him the marriage was over in September. I was done with his games and lack of respect for me and our children. It took awhile, but I finally got over of my fear of being alone and felt that my girls don't need to think that this is the way a marriage is supposed to be...daddy constantly cheating and mommy always letting him get away with it. Finally realized I was worth more than that. Its hard especially around the holidays, but I'm managing. I still cry everyday, and he is begging me everyday to give him another chance so he can finally do right by me and be the husband I deserve...right. I'm not falling for it this time. But you're on the right track, and what doesn't break you makes you stronger, believe me. Keep standing your ground and demand your respect and make him treat you right if you decide to keep hanging in there. If he doesn't want to keep doing his part, then he's not worthy of you.

You are sounding stronger, I like that. You also appear to know the right thing to do, but are giving him 'just a chance' to show that he isn't as dumb as he is appearing.
With him already - ALREADY !-- thinking he is 'off the hook', and complaining to you, etc-- Wow, that doesn't sound good. I am hoping not to see you on Jerry Springer. I hope there is someone ( a counselor?) that you are talking to about this trouble.