i dont know where to start..... I am in a very complicated situation right now, and i know its my fault. My marriage is hanning on the little string and can fall and break.....my marriage was great for about 3 years, but in the beginning of this year it went down the hill . We got distant, couldnt communicate with each other well, almost every day we were fighting and arguing.Well i started having an affair, he found that out and were willing to forgive me and start everything over again. But at that moment i was in to the other guy and didnt really care what my husband was saying. Later on i realized that what i was doing is wrong and all i want is my family. I stopped talking to the guy . I wanted my husband and i to be together , because deep inside i knew that i love him and only him. Well couple month later my husband started having and affair. And the way he was acting was even worse then what i did. He was rubbing it in my face, he was talking to her openly on the web cam, while i was in the same room. It was slow and cruel torture for me. At least i never showed him that i was talking to someone else. But he was doing it and didnt care how i felt. He would go and see her every single day and at night talk to her online. When i found out abut his affair i was crying and begging him for forgivnes for everything i have done to him. I told him that all i needed is him and never stopped loving him, he didnt wanna listen to me, he was just bringing the past up and what have i done. I told him that every single person makes mistakes and they learn from it, i learned from mine and all i needed is his forgivness and acceptance. I told him that i will forgive his affair. But no.....he kept talking and seeing her. He has been telling her that he loves her and wants to be with her, that how bad he regrets that he hast met her before and much more.... My heart and seoul were crashed and destroyed. I am lost and confused, i want him back because i still love him. And i hate myself that i cheated on him, i hate myself for being selfish and uncaring. Yesterday was his court day, he is in jail now for 10 month and i hope while he is in there he will clear his mind out and will realize everything. Every single day before his court day he was spending with her, instead of spending time with his daughter and wife. Well right now i am lost and confused and dont know what to do.......I am so depressed and i feel absolutely lonely and broken.
moizaichik moizaichik
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 14, 2012

Ouch complicated situation, you were wrong at one point but like you said people make mistakes and i respect you for realizing yours. I have always believed that two rights do not make a wrong. Maybe is time for both of you to sit down as adults and really talk about what you want in life. He is also making a mistake but he wont realize till hes ready to. My advice would be to either wait it out if you love him and show him that you do. But also be ready to be let down. These things happen specially when you both went astray. Might be hard to get back to where you both were but you can if you BOTH want to. best of luck to you i really hopes for your families sake it all works out.!!!