Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks...

I read her words and they echoed in my soul..."He is has no interest in being healed." The resistence to change his facebook page, going back to old habits...he doesn't want to leave me, but he doesn't want to change. His promises are words with the intent of making me stay, not because he feels any conviction. Reading it there sounded so definite. So...final. There is pain but there are no tears. I don't cry when my one year old spills his milk; I clean it up and then tell him that there is no more. It teaches him to value the milk and ensure that he doesn't spill it the next time. He does not see himself as an addict. He does not see his addiction as a conflict- he says that these "mistakes" doesn't mean he doesn't love me. What about his vows? Before he said "I do" the minister asked if he would "forsake all others" and "keep himself only for me as long as we both shall live." How come we agreed on what we felt love was when we got married, but the definition is changed now? I know that God can change hearts, but He is a gentleman...He won't force change on someone who doesn't choose it. So I pray that he finds conviction...but there is a time and season for everything under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Timing is everything.
b4realz b4realz
31-35, F
Dec 15, 2012