Is Texting Cheating

I have had this feeling my husband was not being honest about where he goes and what he does while I am at work. We have been together for almost 20 years. His phone never leaves his hands and I have never had the chance to look in it till now, the one and only time he forgot it. So I looked and found out he had been making plans with two different women to go for coffee, meet for lunch, or a drink. I am so hurt and angry because he never does with me. When he is at home he spends all of his time on the computer. He says he is not sleeping with them and gets mad at me! We have a 12 year old son who hates him for hurting both of us. I have no one to talk to about this. I can't eat, I can't sleep. Not sure what to do anymore.
An Ep User An EP User
3 Responses Jan 22, 2013

So sorry for you pain. Just keep in mind to trust you intuition. I stopped trusting mine for the longest time because of what my husband would say to me....I'm being paranoid, I don't know how to read people, I don't know about he work world on and on....and yet he did indeed cheat, and continues so. I have finally learned to trust my intuition after five long years of finding one woman after another each year. even if it is just texting/mailing if he needs to hide it from you then something inappropriate is there. Otherwise why does he need to hide it and why can't he have the phone in your view? I think if you are at this point, therapy for yourself might be something to consider. Then after you find some peace then consider what you want to do about him-confront him? ask him to stop hiding? contact these women to find the truth as you might not find it with him? Either way, you need to do what is best for you.

I hear you. I am so angry with myself for allowing myself to be to mentally frustrated by my husband. I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. And I also think that he strongly believes I will never leave him, or that I actually need him. I am 28 and he is 35. We recently moved to the suburbs and since we have been here I can't sleep, over eat, let myself go, and my mind in always on negative stuff. I love him so much, but he is always playing the game and doing sneaky stuff on his cell phone. The thing that I hate the most is the saying if you look you will find, how about I look and never find??? A few months ago, knowing my husband can't be trusted, I allowed my husband and I to get close to the new neighbors. He and I both were excited because we are basically the only African Americans in our neighborhood, and young. The girls were 20 and 24. I know what your thinking, yea right lady are you crazy? But me trying to trust my husband and see how he would handle the situation, only hurt myself. But than again how do I know they haven't already met my husband? They had is phone number and I started to see frequent calls and texts between them while I was at work. I just had to cut it off and stop talking to them and allowing them to come over, only because I will never get the truth from him. I'm not ever going to rely on another woman to tell me the truth, especially since they are young. I wish men could just be faithful, he seems to always be in chat rooms and it makes me afraid when he leaves the house. I don't know what to do because I do not trust him and its driving me crazy!!!

Right now that's all you're going to feel. I think there is a part of us that doesn't want to move past the Devastated stage. Because avalanche of emotions hit us - rage, sorrow, pain, hate...
First, just please know that HE is at fault. He is going on dates and flirting with these women and because you found him out, he's mad. Because he now has to accept ownership for his unfaithfulness, because now you KNOW and aren't just "being paranoid". It is classic Cheater Behavior.
***Do not accept his bullshit***
Do what is best for your son and yourself. I'm so sorry for this ****** situation your husband has put you in due to his selfishness and sluttiness. I wish you well...I wish you happiness