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It's Been Almost a Year....

Well its been almost a year since my husband cheated and I am handling it better than when I first discovered it. Of course it's still hard for me to completely trust him, and the anger and hurt still come, but not as often. I sometimes wonder if he is still in contact with the woman he cheated with because he has to go through the town that she lives in twice a week. All I can do is keep praying that I am doing the right thing. And keeping the communication lines open with my husband to help me build up my trust in him again.

RainbowsandAngels RainbowsandAngels 51-55, F 14 Responses Mar 31, 2009

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we almost have the same story, been almost a year since my husband broke it off with the other woman, saying he will not own their love child, as I was also pregnant last year, I decided to give him another chance as I don't want my kids growing up without their father, turns out, he was in the baptism ceremony of their lovechild just this last saturday. So you see, for my case, it will never end.
Today, I am again almost 3 mos. pregnant but I threw him out Sunday and this time, no more reconciliation. He's just not worth it. All the pains and doubts I went thru... I shouldn't have allowed that. I know me and my kids are better off alone.

oh my..are you still with him? A husband cheats for several reasons. It could be narcistic - he wants to feel handsome and another girl is like a trophy to his ability, it could be he is unhappy with himself and thinks you are the one making him unhappy. it could be also that you cant make him happy because he has problems.. the bottom line is why would you stay with him? because you need him too perhaps..but isn't that just an excuse for what really is the problem deep within you?

How do you build that trust once it is gone? We are married 39 years and he cheated for the last four years. I don't think I can ever trust him again. I feel used and abused.

My husband cheated and I caught him last week he has been staying out until 2 and 3 in the morning and telling me all kinds of stories he was going with this friend or that friend. The woman he cheated with works at the same place as he does so I know he still has to see her at work. I warned him if I found he even looks at her he will have to leave .Back in October of 2012 she went through his cell phone and got my cell phone number and my daughters and my husbands sisters and sent us text messages stating he was going to leave me. I gave him the option of leaving then and he stated it was a lie and that the woman was stalking him and is a crazy *****.I recently found out that the reason she sent the text message was because she would not go away with him . The stupid fool went back with her after she ratted him out when I asked him why he would go back after that is response was I dont know which makes me even more angry. When I caught him last week I told him he can leave if he wants.cause I dont trust him and will not believe anything he has to say, My sister died 12 years ago from HIV so yesterday I told my husband when he goes to the doctors office next month he is to be tested for all STDs, he stated he used a condom everytime but I dont believe that either after all the lies . He was always the one who preached he does like liars .He had a heart attack back in June and I admit I have been afraid to have sex with him as I did want him to have another heart attack. I have recently lost 70 pounds which was not easy and he NEVER at all said how good I look
I have heard it from everyone else accept him. doesnt he realize you have give attention to get it. My mother in law suggested i get a boyfriend to get even with him.
my sister asked how can I even look at him I told her sometimes I cant so when he is home i stay in another room my sister said I should through him out .she said he cheats again she will throw him out. I went out and bought lottery tickets hoping to win so I would not have to depend on him . I don't think I will ever trust him again

I totally agree with you. I will never again trust my husband. His big answer also is "I don't know". A marriage counselor told him that is not an answer. He better think.

I understand my husban has Ben coming back an fourth lie after lie one minute it's one way the next it's another I'm having another baby by him ! He's not here I sent him packing an he's out in Dallas now with her !! I couldent trust him his answer to me was ( its just sex )! An blamed me he came back to work every thing out instead it was him blaming me tearing me apart !! I cought him on enter net sights trying to hook up with people !! All I ever asked was for him to be here stand up love us an be a man ! An he tore our whole family apart

your prayers will be answered :)

If he won't look you in the eye. If something just doesn't seem right, it isn't. It's been a year for me to and a few days ago I found his phone and he contacted her recently. Don't waste your time trying to trust him. You should not trust him so soon. You only will only be more devastated after opening your heart to him again.

How did you discover he was cheating? If it was an ongoing thing because I played both roles don't think he won't go back.Now if it was something that just happened he's probably over her just used her for sex.

Im glad you guys worked it out.I think you will still have your doubts every once in a while bt its normal and its good that you pray on it cuz God will always show you the right way to go.

Hello, <br />
hope all is good. I do believe that things workout for a reason and that there is a plan for everything in life. Best of luck and hope you keep recovering better....

It is scarey and hard to rebuild the trust. It has been over a year and half and I still don't trust my husband. I wonder if I ever will. I love him and want it to work, but its really hard to trust him...

How have you worked together to stay together? I just found out about my husband's affairs and I just can't imagine how trust would even be rebuilt. Or do we come to terms with forgiveness and move on? I guess the affairs will always be the ghost of the relationship whether we stay with our husbands or move on. A person can forgive, but never forget. I find it scarey.

how are you coping now? and why did you decide to stay with him? I am keen to find out because similar to you I found out in April 2009 my husband had cheated on me 6/7 years ago and it was devastating. I still find the trust thing hard- I decided not to kick him out if he promised to work at this but he has issues around his own beliefs that are limiting him. good luck and I hope you have found a way through this hard time.

how are you coping now? and why did you decide to stay with him? I am keen to find out because similar to you I found out in April 2009 my husband had cheated on me 6/7 years ago and it was devastating. I still find the trust thing hard- I decided not to kick him out if he promised to work at this but he has issues around his own beliefs that are limiting him. good luck and I hope you have found a way through this hard time.

I hope that he's doing something on his part to rebuild your faith in him. People have survived this and built a better marriage but it's a joint effort. Have you discovered why he cheated? If there is a logical reason then a logical solution could be found. If he simply wanted to taste a different slice of pie, then it's tough.