It Is So Hard To Stay Strong.

I know a lot of people who have children with autism will understand where I am coming from and some may even say to suck it up and get on with things, but I feel so desperate right now. I feel like the world is spinning, that I did not choose this and I don't feel ready to take this on. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I have bi-polar disorder so this has really taken its toll on me and I hate that my negative vibes will rub off on my beautiful son.

I don't want anyones sympathy but I want my family to acknowledge that life is hard now for me. Every day we have to follow the same routine, I have no friends left due to my own problems and now I can't widen my circle, because people just don't understand how hard it is for kids with autism to do all the 'normal' things other children take from granted.

I feel priveleged to be my sons mother but I wish my family would support me more. I just want them to help me out and understand how hard it is to raise a child with autism but they always make us feel like a burden, they get frustrated with my son's tantrums and meltdowns and my father is kind of embarassed of him. I feel surrounded by negativity and all I want is support and for someone to hug me and tell me it will be ok.

All of this sounds so self-indulgent but I just needed to write this or tell someone who may have an idea of what I am talking about.

Thanks for reading.
Raphaelite Raphaelite
26-30, F
7 Responses Apr 27, 2011


I'm reading my own story! Everyone seemed to disappear from my life the day my son was diagnosed. No one calls, no one cares. I feel like we've been left out in the cold. Some days are better than others. But it doesn't matter. It's their loss. My path's been laid out before me, I have no choice but to follow it. Much love to you :) you are not alone.

You can also add me I would be happy to help. Your doing a great job stay strong.

Hi, Your post has helped me a lot. I have three children and my middle son has ASD and I also have bipolar. I have a very difficult time with accepting that this happened to him. He also has other issues like asthma and a life threatening milk allergy. I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a social anxiety issue which is keeping me from finding support in my community and my family really can't understand that Tristan needs different treatment than the other children in our family.<br />
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I would love to listen to any thing you might need to vent about. Please feel free to add me to your circle. Hang in there!

I def agree of how you are feeling. My daughter is autistic. Somtimes I feel like I get no help. Like I'm alone. But I will be here for u. Ill be ur support

oto raphaelite....i no exactly how u feel, my son has autisum..i too hv no help , no friends tht really also a carer 4 my mother who has bipolar and physical illness son is nine and ive been single since 2 wks before he ws born. ive suffered bulimia for 21yrs and anorexia befor tht....i soooooo no the feeling of wanting someone just to hug u n say everythng will b ok and i ubderstand......i hv felt like ive only exsisted in my life and never lived it...ive felt with the hell n misery ive been thru was all invisible to the u no, u cant live a normal life wn yr child hs autism..u stay at home alot and try to get thru every moment the best u can... in saying all of ths, my life is extremely better son is 9 and with the huge amount of therapy i hv done wth him .its made a major even no tht my son has autisum.....if u want any opinion or advice im happy to help..i wil say the best thng i did 4 my sons behaviour is diet.....from the age of 2yrs old i started hm on a additive free diet, cut out the preservatites and colours....i swear it makes a absolute masssssssive difference...its hard work but worth it....if u wld like to b in my circle im happy 4 u to join me...keep trying i understand

I know how you feel, you are not alone.<br />
Wishing I could hug you in person, but am thinking it.