It Is So Hard To Stay Strong.I know a lot of people who have children with autism will understand where I am coming from and some may even say to suck it up and get on with things, but I feel so desperate right now. I feel like the world is spinning, that I did not choose this and I don't feel ready to take this on. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I have bi-polar disorder so this has really taken its toll on me and I hate that my negative vibes will rub off on my beautiful son.
I don't want anyones sympathy but I want my family to acknowledge that life is hard now for me. Every day we have to follow the same routine, I have no friends left due to my own problems and now I can't widen my circle, because people just don't understand how hard it is for kids with autism to do all the 'normal' things other children take from granted.
I feel priveleged to be my sons mother but I wish my family would support me more. I just want them to help me out and understand how hard it is to raise a child with autism but they always make us feel like a burden, they get frustrated with my son's tantrums and meltdowns and my father is kind of embarassed of him. I feel surrounded by negativity and all I want is support and for someone to hug me and tell me it will be ok.
All of this sounds so self-indulgent but I just needed to write this or tell someone who may have an idea of what I am talking about.
Thanks for reading.
Raphaelite 26-30, F 7 Responses 1 Apr 27, 2011