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My Son

I knew from the time I was a little girl that I would have children of my own someday. I got married at 22, and at 25 I found myself pregnant with my first child. I could not have been happier. My pregnancy was pretty typical. I never worried and stressed like some expectant mothers do. It hardly crossed my mind that there might be something 'wrong' with my baby. I read all the pregnancy books and followed them to the letter. No drinking, no smoking, eating a healthy diet, taking those awful vitamins. I didn't even drink caffeine.

When I discovered I was carrying a boy I was even happier. I always wanted a son, and my husband had two daughters from his previous marriage and he was overjoyed. He was to be the first grandchild for my parents and I doubt there has ever been a child born who was more wanted.

He was born a beautiful perfect baby in early June of 2001. The labor was long and painful, but it was over and I had my baby. He seemed a typical newborn and I fussed over him like first time mothers often do. I was in love, and took hundreds of pictures of him. He was the first grandchild, the first nephew, and was showered with love.

I did notice sometime after his first birthday that he seemed a little slow at learning his name, and that he would play quietly alone as long as I would let him. He didn't seem overly interested in the goings on of the household. I thought he was so serious and smart, how he would sit in the floor with a board book clutched in his chubby little hands, turning the pages like he already could read the words. I was a little hurt that he never seemed to mind when I left him, but I chalked that up to him being so comfortable at my parents. He did engage, he smiled brightly and often. He would giggle uncontrollably when I tickled him or pushed him in the baby swing hanging from the tree in our yard. He loved Blue's Clue's and would stand in front of the TV and watch it as long as I would let him. He was my first child, and it had been years since I spent any amount of time around a small child. I didn't know that there was anything odd or different about his behavior. My doctor never said anything about his development. He learned to crawl, and then to walk right on schedule.

As he approached his second birthday, I had a little tinge of concern over the fact that he wasn't talking. At his second birthday party surrounded by a dozen other kids he played alone, seemed not to notice they were there. I felt a panic grip me, I knew this was not right. I began my long journey of worry.

I searched the web, looking for answers.  I saw the word autism, but I quickly dismissed that. I knew it was something, but not THAT. My child smiled. My child laughed, and loved to be cuddled and tickled. I learned about early intervention and scheduled an evaluation. He fit the criteria and was behind enough in several areas that he qualified to start speech, OT and a developmental pre school. I was asked if I wanted a behavior therapist to come and see him, and I said sure. The woman they sent was a knowledgeable, experienced, educated sort who didn't pull any punches. She spent an hour with my son and told me that she was pretty certain my child had autism.

So began our life of therapy and therapists. I read every book, article,and web page on autism I could find. I was hopeful. I read all these stories of mother's who had 'cured' their children, who were now 'typical' and living like any other child. I did it all.  Speech, OT, ABA, behavioral therapy. I took him to a hospital in a nearby city well known for their work with autism and got the diagnosis I already knew. It was crushing but also I relief just to have the official diagnosis.

Here I am, four years later. I have a beautiful, happy little 7 year old boy. He has classic autism. He doesn't speak, he isn't toilet trained. He has hundreds of toys he doesn't play with, preferring to swing in the swing hanging from the doorway or climb up and down the staircase. He loves to stand in the windows and look outside. He loves water, a pool, a bathtub or a water hose, he doesn't care. He hasn't mastered a fork and spoon, preferring to eat with his hands. He loves oranges, and can hear a potato chip bag rattling three rooms over. He hates shoes and would be nude all day if I let him. He knows I'm mommy, and if I prompt him with a M sound sometimes he'll look at me and smile, and grace me with a "Mommy". He still loves tickles and will hop in my lap for a squeeze and a tickle several times a day.

He still goes to therapy, a private speech therapist and other therapies at school, where he is in his second round of Kindergarten in a typical classroom. I feel like his teachers, aid, and therapists at school truly love him and I feel safe sending him there everyday. He has improved, slowly, in some areas. I have accepted he may never talk. I have made peace with that, but still hope everyday that he will. I have accepted that he is different and learned to live with the ignorance of those around me that don't know autism, that haven't had it in their lives. Yet.

He is mine, and I love him. He brings so much joy to my life and has changed who I am. I find being his mother has made me a kinder, less judgmental person. If I could take the autism away, I would. But I have accepted that I cannot. I take it one day at a time.

 

autimom autimom 31-35, F 32 Responses Mar 29, 2008

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I think your really brave and a lovely mother. My twin sister has a son with autism, he's 7 years old and didn't talk but his toilet trained. His smiley lovely and caring boy but my sister crys for the son she never had. I try to help her she my twin i feel sad when i see her cry, like i can actually feel it. I pray for her and tell her she great mom, she my hero.

Of course every child is special, but it would be nice if mine were a little less special. As he gets older in many ways it becomes more difficult, and the future scares the crap out of me. I don't know how I will manage but I also know I have no choice but to. <br />
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Don't mistake my fear and discouragement to mean that I do not love my child and would not do whatever I need to do to care for him. Of course I will. However, this isn't a case of a child needing more time to develop. Take away all of the sugar coating. This is a case of a child having a life long severe disability and me being his mother and the one responsible to care for him.

I lost my son 2 weeks ago he had autism. I had him when i was 17, everyday was a was a struggle but I don't regret it for a moment. If Kyle din't come into my life I don't know who I would be, I am now a teachers assistant and currently doing study to be a speach therapist so I can help more children and familys like the special boy i've lost. Kyle was about to turn 8 next month and he was toliet trained, talking as well as using Makaton which was one of the things put in place when he was 4 which helped him in everyday life and this was the last year at school he need a teachers aide. Every child is special and deserve to be treated as so. All children are different just some need more time and help to develop.

yeah i know what you mean, you must have a family member or some one close to help you out while taking your son to a store or in a new place, bringing up a child with severe autisum is not a childs play , everyone in the family must be equally devoted as the mother.pls dont get me wrong i read your profile and it seems your family life hasn't been smooth sailing .

Thank you for your comment, jagdishhetty.<br />
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This story is a few years old. My son's 9th birthday is in a few weeks. He remains non-verbal, still in diapers. I accepted some time ago that my son will likely never talk. I am struggling now with the very real possibility that he will never learn to read or write. It could happen, but right now it seems unlikely.<br />
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I still love him, of course. I still accept him. However, he gets bigger and stronger everyday and at 93 lbs. will soon outweigh me. It is already becoming impossible to control him physically when he is trying to jerk away from me in a store, or I am trying to get him to do what I need him to do (largely a safety issue.)<br />
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I don't know what the future brings for me and my son. I take it a day at a time, still, and do not focus too deeply on that future. There is nothing I can really do to prepare for the unknown.

read about dyslexia. those children never learn to read and write for ages and there practically geniuses all of them. unless you know how the brain works you really aren't valid to worry. just coz he's not typical doesn't matter and you shouldn't teach him to grow up to follow the crowd either. from your general writing you talk a lot of nonsense in the way you write lots of tautology no offense. you write like a normal person which is using lazy sentences which you're just repeating from what you've heard and are conventional but meaningless. 'there is nothing i can really do to prepare for the unknown' i'd say quit the loser talk. and i hope it all works out.

dear Autimom<br />
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i agree with you when you say that mothers of children with special needs aren't super mom's, saintly figure with exceptional tolerence levels, its only a case of no options being available,you do feel like complaining and crying like anybody else and have every right to, but i will take the positive side of your post where you say <br />
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He is mine, and I love him. He brings so much joy to my life and has changed who I am. I find being his mother has made me a kinder, less judgmental person. <br />
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this to me is definetly positive as i love my daughter more than any body else in the world, i have accepted her limitations and am working to do the best for her.<br />
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its this acceptance that the parents of normal children don't have as they keep comparing their children with others children, and keep finding faults, we have left all our expectation's far behind and have started to work on a one day at a time basis,<br />
pls keep writing,

**** thank you for commenting, although your comment made me sad. <br />
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Life has not been easy for you, and it will not be for son either, I suspect. I appreciate you reading my story and taking the time to comment.

dear autimon ,<br />
as i read your post's i know what you have been going through ,the social isolation,the hurt ,the "why me" feeling, the insecurity ,the humiliation ,cause i have a 6 year old sweet Lil daughter , 3 years back she was diagnosed with autism ,the last 3 years has really been an uphill task, changing every single aspect of our lives, we haven't left a single stone unturned, from OT, speech therapy, sensory integration, ayurvedic medicine,especially my wife has completely devoted her life to helping my daughter, overcome this hurdle, my daughter has started verbal communication only small sentences and mostly words,but her overall progress though slower than normal kids of her age is steady,i wish and sicerely pray to god to shower his mercy on every family facing this crisis especially the mother who's heart bleeds everytime she thinks of her child.<br />
pls keep going with you devotion and work cause god won't let you be sad for long.

Thank you for sharing about your step son. <br />
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If you live in the USA he should have an IEP done every year at school. If the teachers in his school are not able to teach your son and deal with autism, he should be somewhere else where there are professionals who can help him. He has rights, and you should make sure you know them.

My step son has Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorders (ASD & PDD). He is 6 years old. LIke your son he isnt potty trained. He wont use a fork, will only eat things that he can hold in his hand. Which include hot dogs (no bun), corn dogs, chicken nuggets, and fish sticks. He also loves pizza. I can get him to eat some pastas by telling him that it is pizza, because of the red sauce. <br />
He loves the water, bath, pool, or just drinking it. But he loves going to the pool and swimming. We dont have a pool here in our town. So me and my husband will take the kids once a month and rent a hotel room in town, so the kids can swim. He also loves anything that is round balls, marbles, and change. He loves things that spin, light up, and make sound. Sometime it dont have to make sound. <br />
He also loves to watch tv. But let me tell you something if he finds something that he likes it watches it over and over. We have went through 2 copies of the Cars movie, Monster Inc, Wall-e, Underdog (whch he calls superdog). The boy can repeat the words before they are said. And so cant we. lol. He loves spongebob, knows the words to most of them. <br />
In August of this year we found out that he is going blind and the doctors arent sure when or how much time he has left to be able to see. So along with him not developing like other kids his age and having autism. Cant tell us when he is sick or understand how to blow his nose or cough stuff up. He is going to lose his eye sight, to a disease called cone-rod dystrophy. I feel so lost for this little boy, who has only been in my life for over a year now. <br />
He hates to be touched and has a temper. He doesnt understand when he does something wrong and its hard to punish him because he doesnt understand. The school doesnt understand that he doesnt understand. They try to treat him like the other kids and punish him like he is one of them also. Sitting him in time out is a waste of time because the boy will sit by himself for hours on end, so he doesnt understand. He just thinks its like normal. <br />
I dont understand how some people can be so stupid about things they dont understand. Its not something you can catch its something they are born with and learn to coup with the best they can. My step son is a special person who enjoys things that others do not but its what he likes. <br />
My husbands oldest son is fine, makes straight A's. And looks out for his little brother like a mother hen. My two kids love him just like he was there real brother and my daughter who is 10 has become so attached and is also a mother hen when noone else is around. They all ride the bus together. The two older ones take turns riding with the two younger ones. Its a treat having a special family with so many different individual little people.

Thanks, Maisie. I agree of course with what you say in your comment. <br />
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Sometimes when another parent is telling me how they "could never do what I do" I feel the urge to reach out and slap them. Guess what? I can't ******* do it either. I do it because I wasn't given a choice in the matter. I feel the relief of "Thank God it is you, not me" in people over the years. <br />
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My son is 8. He has never been invited to a birthday party. Never been invited to a classmate home, or any event. I've never had anyone ever offer to help me (other than my parents and siblings.) No one has ever reached out to us socially, or let me know in any way that they understand how socially isolating it can be to raise a child like mine. It can be very, very lonely.

Thanks for commenting, Drewberry, and thanks for reading my story.<br />
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I've read that 'Holland' poem before. I can't imagine a parent of a special needs child that hasn't had it sent to them. No doubt by well meaning parents of typical children. I get the sentiment, and I appreciate it, but the poem annoys me. I've read others like it, and although I know they are supposed to be heart warming and inspiring, it doesn't leave me with that feeling. Here is why.<br />
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I am not inspired by these rosy, ridiculous poems painting mothers of special children as saintly superheros. We care for our children because we have to, not because we are more endowed with fortitude than anyone else is. none of us chose this path. I think poems like "Welcome to Holland" and phrases like "God never gives you more than you can handle" give mothers of "normal" children an unrealistic ideal of what mothers of special children should be like. They should never whine, never complain, never vent, never cry, never be afraid, never have regret. Never, never, never. I think when a mom of a "normal" child runs across a mother of a special child who is feeling disheartened and afraid and is reaching out and saying so, this doesn't live up to her ideology of the "saintly special needs child parent" that society expects us to be. Because you did not live up to their ideal and make life raising a special child sound like the greatest thing on earth or yammer on and on and on about how adversity has made you stronger like all the pretty Holland and poems say you should, they feel it is their right to say unbelievably cruel and hurtful things to you and put you in your place. Get back up on that pedestal. And SMILE! GLOW! And don't complain when the rest of us with normal lives and normal children never invite you over because we cannot "handle" your special child or offer to help babysit or offer to do anything worthwhile to assist you.<br />
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Mothers of special needs children are not more gifted, more saintly, or better endowed with virtue than anyone else is. We are human beings with human emotions just like any other mother. We did not lose our right to rant and cry tears just because our child was born with or developed a handicap. And some of us are facing more than you could ever comprehend.

This story make me sad, though inspiring. My son has PDD-nos (along with 3 other psych dx in the Autism Spectrum). I can't help but mourn when I see so-called normal kids and their parents. <br />
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LILT posted an inspiring story that helps put it all in perspective for me:<br />
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WELCOME TO HOLLAND - BY EMILY PERL KINGSLEY<br />
hen you are going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make all your wonderful plans: the Coliseum, Michelangelo's David, the gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.<br />
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After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."<br />
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"Holland ?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"<br />
<br />
But there has been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.<br />
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The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.<br />
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So you go out and buy new guide books. And you learn a whole new language. And you meet a whole group of people you would never have met.<br />
<br />
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there awhile and you catch your breath, you look around and begin to notice Holland has windmills- and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.<br />
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But everyone one you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."<br />
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And the pain of that will never, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.<br />
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But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, and very lovely things about Holland.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=483916" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
Thank Lilt and AutiMom

I just wrote a long reply and for reasons unknown I lost it. How annoying.<br />
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It seems wrong to me that high functioning autistics (like Asperger's syndrome) should be classified as basically having the same condition as my son (or our son's, catmjj.) Although they may meet some of the same criteria, it is so vastly different it seems not right to me. I am not saying that parent's of high functioning children and young adults do not have their struggles but grouping these children in the same category gives the general population the wrong idea about autism. <br />
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My child has a severe, life long disability. He doesn't just "learn in a different way" and he isn't "just a bit quirky." My son is a very good example of classic autism, and should not be compared to a verbal and high functioning individual who just happens to have a few autistic like traits. <br />
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It is always a pleasure to meet another parent of a child like mine. I don't meet many. Glad to know you.

Your son sounds very similar to mine. My son will be 9 in March, and says only a few words, most of which he has picked up in the last year, and people other than myself and my family never understands what he is saying. He says mom, out, no, bob (for spongebob), Doo (for scooby Doo), poop, ouch. He is very loud- squealing, chirping, screaming, etc. <br />
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He is not fully potty trained, but he does well at school. He still wears diapers, and insists on pooping in a diaper and not on the toilet. <br />
<br />
He doesn't sleep, and to get him to sleep at all we have to medicate him. We spent several long years dealing with the lack of sleep for us all before deciding meds were ok. <br />
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He is large- really large. Last weigh-in was 150 lbs. It makes it very difficult to manage him when he becomes aggresive, as he is basically as strong or stronger than me. And he is aggresive quite frequently. <br />
<br />
I'd love to hear more about your life and your child. Parents with cases as extreme as ours are less common, and it is very nice to know there are other parents out there with the same issues.

I had to come back and add something. My son is creative, funny, affectionate, adorable. I hate when I only describe him in nagative ways, and I wanted to make sure it was out there how much I love and appreciate him. He has made me a better, stonger person. I can't imagine life without him.

Your son sounds very similar to mine. My son will be 9 in March, and says only a few words, most of which he has picked up in the last year, and people other than myself and my family never understands what he is saying. He says mom, out, no, bob (for spongebob), Doo (for scooby Doo), poop, ouch. He is very loud- squealing, chirping, screaming, etc. <br />
<br />
He is not fully potty trained, but he does well at school. He still wears diapers, and insists on pooping in a diaper and not on the toilet. <br />
<br />
He doesn't sleep, and to get him to sleep at all we have to medicate him. We spent several long years dealing with the lack of sleep for us all before deciding meds were ok. <br />
<br />
He is large- really large. Last weigh-in was 150 lbs. It makes it very difficult to manage him when he becomes aggresive, as he is basically as strong or stronger than me. And he is aggresive quite frequently. <br />
<br />
I'd love to hear more about your life and your child. Parents with cases as extreme as ours are less common, and it is very nice to know there are other parents out there with the same issues.

Your son sounds very similar to mine. My son will be 9 in March, and says only a few words, most of which he has picked up in the last year, and people other than myself and my family never understands what he is saying. He says mom, out, no, bob (for spongebob), Doo (for scooby Doo), poop, ouch. He is very loud- squealing, chirping, screaming, etc. <br />
<br />
He is not fully potty trained, but he does well at school. He still wears diapers, and insists on pooping in a diaper and not on the toilet. <br />
<br />
He doesn't sleep, and to get him to sleep at all we have to medicate him. We spent several long years dealing with the lack of sleep for us all before deciding meds were ok. <br />
<br />
He is large- really large. Last weigh-in was 150 lbs. It makes it very difficult to manage him when he becomes aggresive, as he is basically as strong or stronger than me. And he is aggresive quite frequently. <br />
<br />
I'd love to hear more about your life and your child. Parents with cases as extreme as ours are less common, and it is very nice to know there are other parents out there with the same issues.

Wow. I am afraid to hope for too much. I had so much hope when I first learned of the autism, I just knew that I would "fix" him. I suffered a terrible and lengthy depression when my son did not progress.<br />
<br />
He is now 8. Still non-verbal, still very much the picture of classic autism. He receives therapies at school and has a good IEP and a wonderful program, but I no longer spend money I do not have on extra therapies. <br />
<br />
I am at a place of acceptance, which is much easier to reach when you have a high functioning autistic child, and not one more like my son. However, I am still there. I no longer loathe the autism that I feel took my son from me and from himself in a sense, but accept it as part of who he is--the same as I accept his blonde hair and the dimple in his cheek. I can not change it. I love him and nurture him and be the best mom I can. <br />
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I take it one day at a time, it is the only way I can do it.

I have no advice to give, but wanted to offer a few words of hope. I have a dear friend who had an autistic son. The characteristics were very similar to what you describe. He didn't speak (only chirping sounds) and didn't interact much with anyone. His parents started him with therapists when he was 2 or 3. Progress was slow, and his parents were very worried about his future. <br />
One early morning when he was 7 or 8 years old, he came into his parent's bedroom....speaking! Not well, but it was a dramatic overnight change. The therapy continued, and he made steady progress in his development. By the time he entered middle school, he could communicate reasonably well, but still had a lot of problems with interaction. When he started high school, the progress accellerated dramatically. It became clear that despite his difficulties, he was a very bright boy. Now, four years later, I was thrilled to attend his high school graduation. During those last four years he became an Eagle Scout, learned to play the piano (very well I might add), was a star on the track team, and became a member of the National Honor Society. Not only that, but he is a great person to be around....interested, polite, conversive, honest, and trustworthy. <br />
I helped him a bit with his college entrance essay. He wrote about that morning when "the teal cloud lifted and I could speak." He will be leaving home next month to start his freshman year at the University of California. I know he will succeed there.<br />
I wish I could offer advice on how to trigger this change, but I have no clue. I know his parents worked hard to help him, and showered him with love.......sounds like you are on the right track.

Yes, chap is a fine word. :) Good story! My son was first diagnosed with PDD-NOS on the spectrum and by someone else recently- classic autism. Yes, it can be very isolating. Not many parents seem to want my son to play with their children as he has the tendency to squeeze and hit at children some, but he is really improving in that area. Noone I know in RL has a child with autism and when I go to playgroup I feel very alone as noone there has autism and when I talk about it with other parents, they don't really understand what it's like. The first sign we had there was something wrong was his sitting up then his not talking. Now he says maybe 20 words but still doesnt make full sentences. There are other 'quirks' about him, but I wrote those in my story, so I won't repeat them here. The hardest thing is the state I live in. They do not offer many services for children with autism. We are in ABA therapy, but not as often as he should be. We are ready to start speech therapy soon. I try to remain optimistic about it too, but the truth is the whole idea of him growing up like this scares the hell out of me. It can be very hard with his constant tantrums. My son is just now beginning to use silverware. Still in diapers and will be 4 in April. Anyway, take care and stay strong. :)

I love that you said "chap." Hehehe. How cute.

Thank you, Betty. I don't know statistics for your country, but in the US autism affects 1 in 150 births. It is much more common in males, also. Autism is a spectrum disorder, and although I have met a lot of parents with autistic children, I meet few that have children anything like mine. It can be very isolating. <br />
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My son is somewhat of an odd little fellow, but I adore him. I have accepted who is he, and who he is not, but still we work towards teaching him things that will improve the quality of his life. I worry about his future, I worry about my future as he gets older and stronger and harder to physically control. I take it a day at a time, and try to remain optimistic. Thanks for taking the time to read about him.

I have a son that is soon to be 3, and the doctors said he has autism. Wow! I recently learned he also has Monosomy 3p2. I dropped in tears when I heard this. He is my fourth child my other 3 is a little older. Thank goodness because I don't have the time for them like I want. They seem to understand, they know the trials and tribulations I have with Jeffrey. He has taught me so much, yeah I learn from a 2 year old. I look at his ability not his disability.I challenge him when I can, and we live our life around him. (no complaints here)He is so awesome and full of life. He goes to several therapies a week and can speak about 20 words. when he is 3 we are putting in a great preschool for children with disabilities. I believe I am going to try to get him a service dog; they are great with children with autism. There is a program with the sheriff's department call Project life saver we are enrolling him in. Check out this program it is great. He likes to wander from us. Sometimes these forums are therapeutic for parents just to talk about their feelings. May god bless you and your children.

Thanks autimom...it must be very hard not to have high expectations or hopes when the child is your own. The one thing I've learned is that even small gains are really significant and add up over time as long as the child isn't allowed to regress too much. Keep your hopes high but don't forget to recognize the little things too! I'm sure you're well aware of that but just thought I'd throw that out there. Hope you and your family are well :)

RA, thanks for your comment. My son had a lot of early intervention but I'm skeptical of how much it helped him. I know it makes a world of difference in some children, but I guess perhaps I had my sights set too high. He is 7 now, and in first grade. He has a full time assistant and my school has been very cooperative the last few years as far as providing what he needs. I have a lot of hope and I am optimistic about the coming years. <br />
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My son is still non-verbal. I haven't given up that he may gain some language at some point in time. He definitely has come a long way as far as his receptive language and following simple directions.<br />
<br />
He loves to swing and climb. He has a swing at school that is used as a reward when he completes certain tasks. We even have a swing inside our house which gets a lot of use.<br />
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You have a tough job. My hat is off to you and I am thankful there are people like you out there.<br />
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Elwing, thank you for your nice comment. I do love him and I just take each day as it comes.

As the almost step mom of a developmentally disabled child and the mommy of a preschooler, I can sort of relate to this story. Reading it made me tear up... You obviously love your son, and its beautifully written. <br />
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I honestly can't wait to read more stories from you, whether they're about your son or not. :D You sound like you're doing a wonderful job! Keep it up!

Thanks for sharing your story. I am a teacher assistant working in lifeskills so I work with lots of autistic students (high school). I hear from the teachers now that the focus is on early intervention. The hope is that the elementary age kids with autism will be much more functional by the time they reach high school than the kids we're dealing with now at that level. <br />
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It's funny that you mention how much your child loves the swing. We have 2 students in particular that just LOVE the swing, brings them unimaginable joy. I find it to be inspiring on a daily basis to work with autistic kids. I personally assist an 18 year old non-verbal autistic. He struggles with deep frustrations but I think he would be much better off if his teachers had the tools, knowledge, and training that we have today. There is hope for sure and lots of love. We in lifeskills all love the kids we work with. It's a pre-requisite for the job. No one would ever make it without the love!

thanks for the advice but i am talking to her sometimes, when she is talking to me i feel like a friend and when i tell her that i have feelings for her maybe she will avoid me.. <br />
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You know your a great mom you love your son very much and great story

Thank you so much. What you said is lovely. I have a younger son who is almost three. Watching him develop typically has been one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I am continually amazed at how things come so easy to him, so natural. He has long passed my older child in terms of development. It is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.