My Boon

We just got the diagnosis today.  They haven't fully assessed her to give her a number on the spectrum yet.  I was shocked.  I feel helpless, scared, unsure.  As a mom, I worry about things.  I want my daughter to have a good life.  I don't want her to struggle.  I don't want her to feel outside.  She's so beautiful, smart, sweet.  In the past year, she's come so far.  Academically, she's at the top of her pre-school class, but she struggles so much to socialize.  She can't make herself get involved the way the other kids do.  At the park, she wants mama to come play with her.  She knows that I understand her language, that I will not look at her the way kids do sometimes.  Socially, emotionally, her fine motor skills...all at a two-and-a-half year old level.  She just turned five.  Her vocabulary is above average, but she can't seem to use it to express what's in her mind.  She tells me what color everything is, in both English and Spanish.  When I wear my long hippie skirts, she hides under them and follows me around, making me look like some sort of bizarre dromedary. 

The doctors can't tell me if she will ever be able to function on her own.  All we know now is that she needs treatment, and that we have so much to learn.  Sometimes these kids go on to live healthy, happy, self-sustainable lives.  Other times, they don't.  Boon seems highly functional for a child with autism, and I'm hoping that as she grows, she starts to develop coping skills and learn how to function within society.  Like I said, I have so much to learn.

unobserver unobserver
31-35, F
7 Responses Mar 3, 2010

It's funny. Some adults I know never get past the social and emotional levels of a two year old. People have different skill levels and different ways of learning and communicating. The stigma of labels and fear of judgment get in the way of who people truly are. We are all learning to express ourselves properly. You're a loving mom and that's great for Boon. And she makes awesome crackers with yogurt raisins!<br />
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My daughter had signs. But because I struggled my own issues and not knowing until I was 21, I noticed what she was going through early. I could relate! ; ) Your daughter is still young and has so much room to grow. There are still times when my daughter has episodes that are far from the normal tantrum, exhaustion, or frustration of other children. And it takes a special angle to reach her, otherwise you can't. With a lot of work, she's gotten good being social. But it sucks when people see that they think she's normal like "everyone else" and she occasionally shows signs then they say, "she needs to get out more and socialize"...but she does! I kind of tell her that people will think what they want. But if she's happy, her friends are happy, and she is having a good time then what other people think don't matter.<br />
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And it's funny, when I see precursors to an episode, sensory overload, or something that she will obsessively freak out about...I end up looking like a spaz and she's all cool and collected because I caught it in time. I'm fine with being the one everyone looks at weird instead of her, ha ha! It makes me laugh when people are like, "you just freaked out over nothing!" Oh you have no idea!

Right now you are probably scared and overwhelmed, my friend, but it's going to be okay. There are therapy programs that will help build her skills. And many support groups. I have worked with so many kids with autism, and the most important thing I learned from them...they are kids first. Autism is part of the package, but they still just fun little people. You can do this. And so can Boon.

I have worked with people with autism. JUST LOVE HER ALOT

Honestly, if she's high-functioning, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Take it from someone who knows. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 7, and while it does make my social life something of a disaster, I get along just fine in other aspects of my life. I built an engine without any instruction or training (it worked for about an hour at full throttle. I'll have to remember to torque my bolts next time), I am in the process of writing my own music as we speak, I drive, I draw, my grades in English were almost always above class average, need I go on... It was a blessing, not a curse. If you want to know more, simply contact me. I am open about anything and it is very difficult to offend me. The option is yours, but I will add you to my circle right now :)

(hugs) You need to be strong for her. If you show that you are strong, then she will follow. I wish for the best to happen and for her to become a great person. I'm sure she'll do that any way.

Aww :-( It's difficult but they do learn to cope a lot of the time. And they don't really know any different. They are just themselves. My son has ADD. I know that's kind of over diagnosed today but he still has a lot of things about him that are just different. There are people where I used to work. High functioning like you said. Nicest people out there if you asked me. You'll see I think. Her being special will become normal to you I am sure.

(((Uno))) <br />
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None of us want our kids to have a hard time. We all want them to be the smartest, best liked, and most charmed people on the planet. But Boon has one thing on her side - a mother who will go to then ends of the earth for her little girl. You and she have a lot to learn, but I know you're up to the task. She <i>has</i> come so far this year. I listen to her talk when we're on the phone...She is a different kid now. Keep letting her grow. And keep learning yourself. Things are just a little different...instead of speaking her language, you have to focus on teaching her yours.