My mind is so cluttered, I can't seem to not think in eight or more directions at once. Makes it difficult to get the productive thoughts through! And I have felt so lost for far too long.
Again and again I've 'started over' only to be completely thrown off the path. This has me feeling somewhat hopeless and overwhelmed about the future.
Since my mind has over-heated for the moment, I'm having real difficulties in communicating exactly what I want to.
Earlier today, I was flipping through my collection of "Mullah Nasruddin's Tales". It's, more or less, a Sufi version of Aesop's Fables. And for some reason (that I cannot seem to recognize in my current state of Crazy), this one story has been lingering in the back of my mind:
"Once upon a time... It was late at night, and Mullah Nasruddin was crawling on his hands and knees under a corner streetlight. A close friend discovered him and, thinking that Mullah may be drunk, tried to help:
"Mullah! Do you need help to find your way home?"
"No, no, my friend... I've lost the key to my house. Here... get down on your hands and knees and help me look."
Groaning, Mullah's friend lowered himself onto the hard street and began to crawl around. He made a thorough search, peering into all the crevices in the cobblestones, gradually widening his search. After what seemed like hours, his knees were aching. No luck.
"Mullah, I've looked everywhere within thirty feet. Are you sure you lost your keys here?"
"Noo... actually, I think I lost them about a block away, over there."
"Mullah, Mullah - you idiot! Why are we wasting our time here, then?"
"Well, the light was better here..."