Family Complexities Revealed Over The Years... Part 1

There is a lot of stuff that's happened in my family over the years. It is disturbing and painful, starting when I was around 8 years old. I have to write this story in pieced because it is really complex. I apologize for the length, but it helps if I write it like that. 

I used to have an incredibly easy time with family. I was raised by my grandparents, who loved me like their own daughter. My mother and aunt lived with them, but my relationship with my mom was almost non-existent until I was older. Until around eight years old I was a really happy child and had a pretty wonderful extended family. A bit unconventional, but I felt loved and cherished by them. 

Then my mom began to take an interest in me as she never had before. She spent a lot of time with me all of a sudden and took me with her everywhere. I was happy, because in my heart I really did want a "normal" family situation. She was then involved with this man, who was to become my stepfather, and their relationship turned really awful and ugly after a few years. I became involved in their fights, my mom-who had and still does steal-taught me how to steal from my family, and worst of all she turned me against my grandparents so that I didn't want to be with them. After this was accomplished, she had the worst fight with my future stepfather and he was put in jail for abusing there. I was at home when this happened and saw it all. My mom is really strong and they were equally injured-she threw my him downstairs and he broke a bunch of ribs. She had some scratches and bruises, but was not nearly as hurt as he was. My mom forced me to lie about this in court and I was really involved in her problems at an early age.

For some reason, after this my mom decided to contact my biological father who she hadn't seen since a few months after my birth. She asked him for help and I remember speaking to him on the phone for the first time at around 8 or 9 years old. But, he wanted a paternity test to sort out if I was actually his child, as I found out later that my mom denied his paternity in court. This communication lasted a few years and when threatened with legal action, my mom dragged me to Florida when I was 10 years old. This is hard for my grandparents as they considered me their child. 

I learned that my mom left to meet her boyfriend (my future stepfather) there. They lived together, moving several times and I was kept out of school for a few months. When we finally settled into an apartment, my mom said that she was pregnant and my stepfather married her because he was raised catholic and that is the "right thing to do". I was so excited about my little sister and I really loved her from the minute she was born. 

Unfortunately, when I lived with my mom I had to help her do everything-the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. At 10 years old this was really difficult and I had a lot of problems doing things correctly. It got to a point where I would even eat alone for breakfast and make everything myself. So, I was not the most careful child and while I was preparing tea, my shirt caught on fire. I remember being near the sink and a bowl with dirty water in it. I thought of splashing it on myself, but I was afraid that my mom would beat me if I did. I always feared my mom and I decided to try to run for help instead. My stepfather was the first to run out and he put out the fire, but I was left with severe third degree burns on my left breast, which at almost 11 was just starting to develop a little bit. 

This led to the most painful year of my life. I had to go to physical therapy and was on a lot of pain medication because the burn was severe. My mom was abusive and didn't know how to react, but she kept me out of school for a while with no contact to the outside world and my friends. Apparently my friends came by our apartment to see how I was doing, but my mom did not let them in to come and see me. By the time I went back to school, it was 7th grade and we had now moved to a house. It was difficult for me to go back to school because I was ashamed of my scar and worried that the kids at school would notice it. In these years the fights with my mother escalated and the more that I tried to rebel, the more violent she became. After my accident, I was interested in moving back with my grandparents. I missed them a lot and I missed my old life terribly, as well as my friends. I called my grandparents more and more frequently and eventually when I was 14, they allowed me to come back home to attend high school. This was unfortunately not the end of my troubles, but the end of my direct involvement and an end to the abuse that I suffered at the hands of my mother. 

In the next days, I plan to write more about this... Part two will be from age 14 until 18 or 20. 
Klly Klly
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 5, 2010

you are amazing to be so strong and I am moved by your story and what you had to endure at a young age. IT's going to take time to sort out your feelings about this but you are a kind and balanced person and you will get through this and have a good life ahead! jb

Hey am really sorry reading all wht you went through. But , you really a strong girl who borne all suffering alone with great courage. My prayers n good wishes for ur future life :)