I will not date another EP member in real life again. They have been nightmare experiences.
hadyourchance hadyourchance
36-40, F
64 Responses Jun 30, 2015

We can't all be bad. So you're saying I should look elsewhere?

But EP was my last hope...

while i never dated an ep member in person, i would never get involved with one online again like i did a few years back. just showed me that men are men no matter where you meet them.

OUCH... You are using too broad of a brush... PLEASE.. Some of us are REAL and HONEST with good intentions...

i'd really like to believe that, honestly. but since i've removed myself from the game, it doesn't matter anymore.

Never stop reaching out for love...

i don't reach out for love in the male/female, romantic sense anymore. i guess some things aren't meant to be for all of us and i've pretty much accepted that.

Don't you find that something is missing in your life - without love or a quest for a loving partner(s)?
I lived alone for 14 yrs and stopped seeking sensual love. IT found me and I know realize what a large part of ME was missing..

I guess u can't really miss what u never really had in the first place. How I define relationships, I never had one of those in a true sense and what I did have isn't hard for me to live without. If I can't have what I deserve then I'll take nothing.

I agree... Never compromise about sex and love. But make your desires KNOWN (like your profile here on EP) and set your likes and dislikes, so folks can pre-filter..
You'd be surprised.. Open up your profile to all and allow folks to become friends so you can see them.. Post pics of yourself here so those friends can see you...
Then just sit back and read your messages and respond to request to join circles.

I used to be very open and active here on ep until about four years ago until I had some bad experiences with people I thought were friends and when things went south with the special someone I met here. Now I just come here periodically, the luster having worn off long ago.

Sorry to hear that you were hurt here on EP. I hope it was long enough ago that you can open up again for a new group of EP'ers to get into your heart strings again.

,Mmm I don't know. I'm the type that avoids the fire after being burned lol. Plus I just don't have the same enthusiasm I once had for this site.

sad to hear that. Like hearing someone giving up their dreams...

maybe i have given up on some things in life. i will say that i'm not quite the same person i was years ago.

We all change - as a result of life's events - getting older and wiser... Hoping that what we choose and what we are forced into, make us better persons and allow a better life.
For me that means a meaningful sex life. Please keep your options open and keep reaching out for love in your life.

we'll see. we never know what the future holds, even skeptics like me lol

Yes, that is true... BUT you need to open your heart to others and let them show you that they care...

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Never say never, we're not all the same.

All of them? Hi 😜

Wow, for me the opposite. Even the one that wasn't good, wasn't a nightmare. I regret the loss of a good good friend. But the many that went well make even that one bad result so worth it

never say never sweetheart ..........................xx lol

Some of us are as genuine as we come across. Most are creepers!!!

i have twice both successfully.....................................xx

Just joined. That concerns me! Sorry to hear. Is this place full of "whackos"?

The CRYING and the SOBBING and the DRAMA QUEENS on this site is ridiculous *walks away and stubs my foot on a table* MOTHER F*****! *falls on the ground crying* SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!

I know😂😭😂😭

Oh gosh. Yeah I agree this isn't a dating site. Please take care and be safe!

What happened?

probably because many of us live in nightmares

why did you do it to start with?

somebody who found me on this website kidnapped me not long ago.. this site is an addictive nightmare

The whole point of this site, to me, is anonymous chat. On a few rare occasions, I've shared Facebook accounts with someone whom I really clicked with in multiple ways. If I were "available," would I date a person o met here? Doubtful. Meet, perhaps, date no. For the most part, the anonymity allows for a refreshing candor you don't often get with people you know well. But dating requires understanding and connection on multiple levels that you just don't share here. Still, I have to admit, this would be a whole lot better than Match.com!

That's a shame

How did you even find someone in your area to date? It seems as tho there is a lot of geographical separation here, and the odds would be greatly against finding someone close by.

I live in a heavily populated region in California. Not hard to find others who live in the area.

OK, thanks - I live in a far less populated area of CA.

What happened??

Their to fkin nosey

It would not be surprising cause most look a bit of rejects. They are not the good guys, too bitters toward life.

I guess you haven't dated the right people like me 👌

U ever hear that song the freaks come out lol.

Sorry it didn't work out like you wanted it too

Apparently you did not do a very good job of screening before you established a real life relationship or perhaps you were just very unlucky. Too bad. There are good people and bad people and you happened to draw the latter.

I will not **** my best friend again. :(

Now this is a lesson you can just avoid learning in the first place.

Lol do tell...

Needless to say I am very sorry for your bad experiences.

I truly wish someone comes along and treats you to far better dating experiences.

Again I'm very sorry.

Guess i dont get my chance then. Damn.

Never date any online person you meet, it is a disaster. A big disaster. Behind a computer monitor anyone can tell you anything you want. In your mind you start to form an "image" of that person. Sure you may have a photo of that person and it may be of that person. Chances are it is not.

hence you skype with them

why? Tell us! what happened! I am a newbie here!

Neither will I ever do that again I will tell you my story after you reply and where are you located

Whoever it is that made acquaintance with you here on EP and treated you in such a manner that you refuse to meet anyone else from EP should be shamed and punished somehow!!!

Greece, Rafina. You, belleolbes;
You can chekc my website too estatistics eu as well in facebook elias estatistics

You dated men on here !!!! Why wasn't I told about this..... I'm a good guy

If never do it in the first place lol ffs desperate or what?

that's kinda harsh man

Not really I would never be so desperate to want to meet up with some from here no thanks not for me. I'm talking about myself not anyone else's opinion.

sure that's your entitlement of course. But you wrote "desperate or what" indicating you were asking the question...

Not trying to lecture or nothing though...

I think people that go looking for relationships through the Internet are shallow and desperate. My opinion.

there are many like that, but there are also many who are very insecure and lack confidence man

You only have to delve a little deeper into people accounts and questions and answers go try it

I'm cool man I wasn't referring to myself. I've never been deceived and I've not really ever deceived anyone else on the pretense of feigning to be a certain character on the net...unfortunately some people aren't all that adept at judging character

kinda :P

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how come if u dont mind my asking? are they out to just get laid?uh men....

I never have but would the right one

I have been lucky - here on EP.... But I am brutally honest BEFORE meeting anyone and vetting with on-line cam-2-cam....

the way it should be, I applaud your frank honesty though it's a pity that I feel the need to applaud you for it but such is the nature of the human race!

Not everyone is deceitful... But few are truely honest. Total honesty costs friends and family, but saves those true friends.

sad but true, I've definitely learnt that in my 33 years of existence thus far

word

haha wordLIFE compadre!!

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My mother used to say, "Internet dating is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get"

Okay, mom didn't say that, but it's true...

Is this a reference *grins*

Dude, same. But my mum actually did say it /:

Smart mom!

I don't think u should look 4 a date on EP but if u happen to like someone I think u should give them a chance. But I understand why you wouldn't wanna date another EP member because u can't c their actions which are louder than words

If I ever date again, ( I hope that never happens) it won't date from the pool of people on the Internet. I've found that most of those I had in the past were in some manner less then what they post. Spent way to much time in cyberspace and not on planet earth and had more drama then I needed.
Dee was an Internet connection, but we didn't know each other or met on a dating sight. A friend of hers saw my postings and sent them to her telling her you need to date this person. We connected and gave been dating ever sense.

I'm sorry your last experience turned out so poorly.

I'm deeply saddened you've had such terrible experiences.

why what happened?

sorry to hear that, my sympathies are extended your way ^^

Yeah here you only see what someone writes. You don't see them come up with it. You don't necessarily get their true instinctual response. What rolls off my fingers on here is mostly my strengths. I tend to steer clear of my weaknesses on here, but in real life they're rife. and there's no body language, no awkwardness while u try to figure out how to reply. so on. We users are really only shadows of the real people out there in the world. ..

Very true!

I've never understood why people lack the sincerity to express their insecurities when they are online although indirectly, their insecurities are generally exposed through their own apparently self-esteem boosting actions (e.g posting countless selfies and quotes of positivity).

The way I see it everyone on earth has their imperfections so if someone comes across as continually being upbeat I am generally skeptical of their integrity.

Coincidentally, I came across this website by searching "bored, lonely and depressed" on google.

Thanks for posing the question. I don't often post my own posts here. I normally seek people who need help and give it. hence stewing towards my strengths most of the time - silly to try to help where I myself have only weak views or experiences. hth

hmm in my opinion as long as you are being sincere then you are being of help in a sense :)

But you can be partially sincere. You can say what's best for someone to do but when faced with the same situation yourself would you be able to act the way you're advising? No way to tell. But the impression given is you're this saintly person. so one could argue the fault is with the person falling in love for the image of a saint, when in reality they should probably look deeper, ask questions that really challenge the person to step outside their epersona. ... I've thought about this a lot over the years lol

I see you point, it's easy to preach common sense when we are not experiencing times of duress, however that works vice versa...

I think it all comes down to intuition mainly, though just as in real life you never know until you truly spend time with the person and even then surprises can happen after decades!

True true. I guess that's the key - why does our intuition fail us more often online than in person? Or, does it? How often do we really seriously test it in reality? ...

haha I could hang out with you for hours man...I don't think it does fail us more often online although that is dependent on the subject of course. Purpose is key to this avenue of insight, those who rush make unsavoury decisions perhaps?

Perhaps. There is *definitely* something to be said for the African way of life, their perspective on time. Just slow the heck down, make good decisions from the start and don't wind up firefighting them the rest of your life. Same same to you. Though, agreeing with each other might well get boring after a while ;)

you are spot on have you seen or heard of the classic film "The Gods Must be Crazy"? A classic examination of the western way of life compared to African desert people's way of life. The first 10 or so mins of that film sum up exactly the point you just made

NO!! But I really want to now. I'll add it to my list. :) Thanks!

On a similar note, have you seen The First Grader? Kenyan school when they first enshrined education into law. Old guy tries to go to school in the bush. Turns out to be a Masai warrior who helped throw out the oppressors. Must see :)

duly noted thanks for the tip man :)

that youtube link I posted is the intro of the Gods Must be Crazy, it perfectly sums up the lifestyle comparison...

The movie is an absolute classic, great comedy made with a small budget that hits the nail on the head with the hammer regarding the unnecessary and trivial chores of western society!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYk8W40pzI8

check it out man, this is so good and so true!! Still relevant to this day yet it was made like 35 years ago!!!

True bro

You question a person's "integrity" for being upbeat?!?!😐 I've got to write THAT ONE down.

for being continually and solely upbeat over extensive period of time. Yes I certainly do.

If u like someone on here shouldn't FaceTime help solve half on those problems

um I guess. But the pretense is already set. The first impressions formed. false or at least partial first impressions incredibly difficult to crack. The pressure is on to live up to the person you are on ep. see what I mean?

Yea I understand your right

I'm not sure why anyone would take an online persona too seriously. Nothing beats connecting face to face & spending time together to see if action match verbal statements & body language. There's too much hiding online.

That's very true TheRightFitforLife. But, sadly so many people don't have real life friends or real life people. They are scared by the loud mouths at school who make such ridiculous things "norms" and they don't feel they fit with anyone - even though actually the majority of kids aren't like that - they don't see it because they're cowering too much to open their eyes and look up from the ground. It just propagates into adult life of xboxes, ps, and online life in general. IMHO, that is. untested theoretical generalisations ;) But I suspect the concepts aren't a million miles out...

I call them ghosts. the voice u hear in their message is ur projection. the face is a little box or pics sent behind a screen. the blanks r filled in with the traits we want them to be

True so true!

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Very risky meeting a stranger. Erotic maybe but sensual rarely

Really why what has happend in you experiences

Sweets,you need to be able to talk, laugh, love, fight, f--- and make up with your man.

So sorry

So i cant get some suga, Suga?

Sorry babe

LOL!

Sorry to hear that :/

me either!! here I learned the true meaning of the word bltch

Awe. I'm sorry 😔

Oh wow really??

True story.

Stick to Cyberdating Sweetie

I need flesh on flesh.

We all do and choosing wisely is so hard! Good luck though I keep thinking about it but don't have the courage!

There are actually a few ep success stories! Live and hope :)

I'll stick with more conventional methods.

Probably a good idea. What happened to grubby meat market night clubs since e-harmony, ep, speed dating came along?

Well it could just be bad luck

Sucks when that happens...sorry for your bad experience(s).

You're scaring me, HYC!! 😱 What was SO BAD?!?!😳 Was he/she an axe murderer?!?!😨

Wouldn't surprise me.

you have not met me lol. I guess, I'm not!

You tried that? what happened

Nothing positive happened.

always to far away for me to meet

Oh no what happened?