Ex Was Controlling

I don't currently date a controlling man, but when I was in high school, my first boyfriend was highly controlling. And of course, him being my first, I figured a lot of his behavior was normal even though it upset me. Basically, I'd heard all the jokes about howe marriage is a godawful, miserable union of torture, so of course I figured that it was only natural for dating to be miserable if it's the precursot to marriage.

My ex's bad behavior did not show itself until we'd been together about a year, and then things began to go downhill. Some of the wonderful things he'd done were:
  • Tell me my female friend could not hug me because she might be flirting with me (friend was bisexual, but did not like me beyond friendship)
  • Told me I could not speak to my male friends because they might try and steal me from him (some were mutual friends between Ex and myself)
  • Demanded I speak on the phone with him every single night for at least two hours on school nights, and four hours a day in the summer
  • Told me I had to wear a dress that covered everything from my neck down for graduation so no one would "look" at me
  • Word got to him I was considering leaving him, and he didn't understand why. I told him he was being overly possessive of me and that I was giving him a month to learn to act like a normal boyfriend. He behaved himself and was an angel for exactly one month, down to the day. Then he went back to being a jerk. He thought if he didn't try to control me for just one month, I'd stay with him forever.
  • Did not want me to go to college, and demanded we get engaged before I left so I wouldn't cheat on him (since engagement ring = chastity belt). Tried to propose to me with gumball machine rings and rings he stole from his mother.
  • Said he'd live with me in my dorm room to watch me and ensure I would not cheat on him, somehow eluding security and roommates.
  • When I tride to break up with him, he told me I could leave him, but since he did not agree with it, I would be cheating on him if I dated someone else
  • Said he'd go on a killing spree if I left him, and then kill himself.
Eventually, I reached a point where he was making me so furious, I didn't care if he really killed himself or not. So I left him for another man, and lo and behold, Ex did not kill himself. He and I patched things up and we are friends again. My BF who I've been with for over five years is the exact opposite - he's a bit ont he neglectful side because he's a WoW addict, but give me the neglectful man any day over the controlling one.
StrawberryPocky StrawberryPocky
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 9, 2010

How long before you became friends with him?