Things Are Escalating On the God Front...

My sister spent the day with my mother yesterday.  Here is her report:  There is some 38 year old, black man, that a few of these people call "Prophet".  Every Saturday night they meet with him and they bring others that MAY have had a dream, worthy of Prophet.  (not joking... it's downhill from here)  If someone accidentally addresses Prophet by his real name, he will ignore you until you apologize and beg for forgiveness.  He sshhhhsss people a lot of the time.  hahaaaaa    Ok, so Prophet has declared that, based on everyone's dreams, the end will be here in 2009.  The "antichrist"will arrive and everything in the world will begin a rapid decline.  (i'm trying to paraphrase)  So, with this information... my mother has made the following decisions:

She is going to have a "hand pump well" put on the ranch, so that when (not if, but when) all of the electricity goes out... she can have water.  She is stockpiling wheat, rice, beans... that sort of stuff.  Apparently, Prophet says that there is going to be severe drought so... they must buy their wheat now???  (maybe it was fire, or locusts, but i think drought was the culprit... this is all so much to remember!)  She is having chicken coops built, so that they will have eggs, construction has begun.  Candles, toilet paper, etc are also being stockpiled.  She has asked my sister to help her find TWO DONKEYS.  Because, you know... there will be no gas and no electricity for the gas pumps.  So... these donkeys are going to be her transportation!?  My sister's husband is a welder type and she has requested some sort of buggy that can be pulled by the donks.  ????

Now, WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO ANY OF THAT?  I am going to go to the ranch and visit her this weekend.  I'm seriously considering making up some sort of "god dream" so that i can ask to go see Prophet.  I feel like I need to see this for myself, because it's too  hard to believe.  I know she's giving tons of money to this guy.  Anyway... once i set eyes on him and see all of this... i will then seriously consider three signatures to put her away.  This is insanity.  She has gathered a bunch of ex-cons (ex as in just out of prison) to work at the ranch?  She lives there, by herself with all of these criminals milling about.  oh man...

Help me think up a dream, worthy of making Prophet interested enough to let me see this!!!!  hahahaha  All I can do is laugh... it's so insane, that i just can't even wrap my head around it. 

FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
46-50, F
10 Responses Feb 13, 2008

I think her head is full of beans... no worries! I have discovered a new stash that she's added and I could not makes this up. REady? There is an entire storage cabinet filled with cans of SPAM, Vienna Sausages and sardines. I couldn't make this up. I guess she should add twinkies to this lineup, since these items will probably last forever in their packaging. <br />
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It's the white trash provision stopckpile!! Ahahaha...

Does she have any extra beans? i don't have my bomb shelter really stocked up yet ? :)

Dear Whacko, you are right on. Had THE ENCOUNTER, this past friday night. I will write the story, in the next day or so. I'm still reeling and confused. Now, please turn off your ESPN. haha

AHAHA!!! good one. <br />
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beans? i'd say pinto. my biggest concern would be toilet paper, but that's just me. umm, i don't think that there's going to be an early announcement. i think that the true followers (and you know who you are) will KNOW. they will have dreams, god will speak directly to them thru prophet, you know the usual. <br />
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considering that you are unfamiliar with god's plan, you may have a much bigger problem than stockpiling beans and soap!!!

can you tell me what kind of beans.. black beans, fava beans, nothern, pinto.. this intelligence is not helpful for those who also want to stockpile beans. Not sharing is frankly, selfish. I want to have as many beans handy as I can when armagedoon comes. I also want to have some Crisco and Dawn dishwashing liquid at arms reach. I don't know about you, but I find that Dawn works best, especially for baked in grease. I also use it removes spots and stains that spatter my clothing when I cook. i have sometimes thought that maybe I can use Shout to remove the spots from my pots and pans. So, if Amargeddon comes, I'd like to have some of that too. Can anyone tell me where this aramageddon is going to be announced? I'm not a heavy metal fan, but I'm a fun person and if its a good concert and there's beer and camaraderie, I'm there like a mullet on a party guy.

NOOOOOO, and i am kicking myself for having to put it off. I had obama stuff to handle. however, if all goes well, i will be there friday night. she's been m.i.a. every single night. i've been calling at 9, 19, 11... no answer at ranch and cell phone. i'm afraid she's out trying to heal people??

So.. did you go?? If so, how was it?? :)

oh oh oh, i have an idea. i will make up this dream, get in to see him and... cut a hole in my purse and hide a video camera for evidence?! hmmm, i wonder if you can buy a spy purse, all ready to go?

she has a couple of horses, not so sure why donkeys are being discussed? maybe because... they are lower to the ground? i have no idea. Oh god, this could potentially be another David Koresh incident. oh man... help me think of a good "dream".

I can see this being the start of a siege....nationwide news reports 24/7 on the ranch run by Prophet and the ex-cons.....donkeys being kidnapped undercover of the night, and huge grain silos erected overnight....I do like the idea of a donkey buggy, but wouldn't horses be cheaper to run?