Blinded By the Devil

This is horribly embarressing.  The latest with my mother is that she is, apparently, traveling around acting like a jesus healer, of some sort.  I have not seen this with my own eyes.  I just keep hoping that I awake from this awful nightmare.  Ok, so she is involved in some group of religious busy-bodies.  They are in everyone's business.  I do not know any of these people.  I just hear about them from mom and I witness the hundreds of phone calls.  Allow me to tell her story, as she told it to me:

"Cannnnnnnndyyyyyyyyy" (this is what she called me when i was young, before i was old enough to realize that it was a stripperr name--  the elongated letters represents a southern drawl)  Ok, nevermind trying to do this in her words, i cannot.  haha

Ok, the story is that she heard from the busy-body jesus grapevine that some guy in the hospital (that mom has never met) needs to be healed.  Mom and her two freaky sidekicks pay a visit to the guy, in his hospital room.  They walked in, tried to talk with him, then began praying "over him".  (i do not know what that means)  "He wouldn't look at us, all he could do was turn his head towards the wall and hiss.  You know, the evil spirit was hissing at us, because we had jesus on our side."  (or something to that effect - hissing and jesus)  So the three scoobs leave the hospital and drive the hour back to their town.  Mom is driving.  As she is driving, "sidekick 1" informs the other two that her side is hurting.  Apparently, this side hurting thing relates to the evil that jumped (jumped?) from the guy to them.  (he must have had some sort of side injury??)  Mom is still driving, then she says that her side is hurting, too.  (however, never to be outdone, she one-ups the sidekick) She cannot see.  She has gone blind and must pull the car over.  She pulls over, they all get out of the car.  The two sidekicks walk around with mom, on the side of the road and they are all complaining of side pains.  Only one had blindness.  After they load mom into the backseat they drive her home.

This is only one story of two, that I heard tonite.  What is going on???

FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
46-50, F
3 Responses May 23, 2008


i find it hilarious, but insane! it be much funnier if it wasn't my own mother. oh well, never a dull moment.

forgive me if I am receiving this the wrong way, but this is side-splittingly funny.. fifi you are a comic genius.. write... dammit!