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More Jesus, But From My Husband's Fam, This Time...

I avoid my mother-in-law, like the plague.  I've been married for a long time and the two of us, will never, ever see eye-to-eye.  I'm fine with it.  After much marriage counseling, I had to let my relationship with her GOOOOO.  I see her at major holidays and once every 3 or 4 months.  fine.

Friday morning, after Thanksgiving:  The men and boys all went duck hunting, which is the family tradition.  We are staying in her guesthouse, which offers me privacy and refuge from this woman.  Like an idiot, I went to the main house, when I awoke, looking for coffee.  (there's a full kitchen in the guesthouse... so, I was clearly NOT thinking)  I'm watching the local news and here she comes.  I'm in a great mood, drinking my coffee, chatty...

She comes at me like a spider monkey - hands all waving in front of her with the "I know I probably should not say something, but I just have to"  FUKKKK.  Here we go, again.  So, I say "well, if you want to say something, say it".  The lecture is about JESUS.  Let me just give you a few of the quotes from her, I just sat there, listening, respectfully.

"You need to send the message to your children that your family is the most important thing, by getting up every sunday morning and going to church with them."  "I don't know how you get out of bed in the morning without Jesus".  "No matter what you believe, you owe it to your children to give them a solid foundation".  "You are sending the message that they are not the most important thing to you". 

It went on and on, I am choosing to not continue - you get the drift... JESUS and her "personal relationship" is the only way she can get thru the day.  GOOD FOR YOU.  I don't really care, but if it works for you, go for it.  Just leave me out of it.  I have my own path and do not believe as you do.   Well, it went on for an hour.  I had to run back to the guesthouse.  When the guys returned, my car was packed and I was standing outside by it, rushing my son to "get in".  haha 

I respect others' beliefs.  Why can they not respect anything other than their own, personal convictions?!  Drives me crazy. 

FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 27 Responses Nov 29, 2008

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I think you really are more connected to her than you realize; she brings out the worst in you and you bring out the best in her. Agree to dis agree and be your best!

You've been away too long, Fifi, and forgot some important things.<br />
EP has strict rules about drinking and posting.<br />
<br />
Your first problem, you didn't drink enough. Your posts should look like this...<br />
"dddsals haaHHAA muuc h to meeee meme.:<<?<? Fuuckeddd YEWW !& Bwooockkked!%"<br />
<br />
Then in the morning, you check your recent activity, and delete everything.

Ok, there was alcohol involved in july 1 post... sorry, i see several grammatical and/or misspellings. ughhhhhhh

Yes, dear Fifi, we all need some flotation devices. Some more than others.<br />
My saviors tend to take the form of extra garlic and heavy cream.

HAHA! Lilt, mine too!!! The only thing I can add to that is alcohol!

It's family - gotta try and keep the piece for the sake of the children. Also, I do have respect for how we were raised and all the perks that have bestowed upon us. Gratitude, I think is the word, in a nutshell. They are good people, genuinely good, well meaning, charitable people. This makes it easy to take the high road, for I am grateful for all they do for my children and the rest of society, for that matter. I guess, you must look at the big picture. Although, when you're in the heat of the moment, I just wanna scratch someone's face off. But, this feeling passes... as I always return to the fact this is their ignorance. They need this safety raft of jesus to hold onto during rough seas. Who am I to take that from them? Whatever works.

Fifi,<br />
<br />
This story is fascinating--and, even though it's been mentioned time and time again, I am totally amazed by how you took the higher ground. I'm gonna send you a message, I have some other questions for you!

Yeah, well, I'm not talking about people with educations. This group is more or less - on the edge of prison. She is the only caucasian, which I would think... might offer up a question or two. But, clearly, not the case. Gawddd, it's a horrible situation to be in.

Exactly. <br />
The guy is no dummy. Worked on nuclear subs, got a great engineering job. He and his family were simply members for only a short time. Now he's running the whole church and paying for it out of his own pocket. I feel sorry for my nieces. It breaks my heart.

LILT - THAT'S MY MOM!!! there are pics of her on the internet in a mob of "questionable characters" holding up a VISA GOLD CARD. now, go figure... she's the only one with real estate, the only one that hasn't been to prison, the only one driving a nice car. doesn't take a rocket scientist.

In a birthday card, littleduckie????? I am so sorry.<br />
<br />
My brother-in-law just mortgaged his house to give over $100, 000 to his made- up religious group. He used to be a high ranking Naval officer, now he's a healer and a prophet.

Yes, my mom just informed me that she is a Prophetess and that "it is not lost on you". What does that mean? I have the ability to heal and tell the future. Oh and by the way, since Obama will be president -- Jesus is expected to return to earth, during Obama's first four years of service, per mom's prophet. So, everyone, prepare for the "rapture"!!! AHAHAHA

"A ninja for the Lord." ROFLMAO!!

If a person has something valuable to say, it should never require a preface.<br />
<br />
"I really admire your choice in deities, but...."

I tend to go way overboard the other way and make the mother-in-law regret even broaching the subject with me. I'd still be sitting there lecturing her on how organized religion has harmed mankind and brainwashing her grandchildren could never be the right thing to do. . . . .You are giving her more respect than she has earned, deserves and gives you. I'd have been so pissed off.

I expect it from my mother. My mil is another story. Usually, she's just a complete beast. She always waits til she gets me alone, always prefaces the attack with "I know I shouldn't say this" or "You aren't going to appreciate this but...". gawd. <br />
<br />
With my mother, I can respectfully tell her that "jesus" is off limits for conversation and she'll cool it. (a bit) My mom is entertaining with her talk, because she's so out there. My mil is just a monster that likes to get me alone, then cry that she was mistreated, if i speak my mind. bleckkkk, i hate manipulative people. I'm very straightforward, she's one of those people that cannot handle a blunt opinion that does not agree with hers. <br />
<br />
It sucks that after 17 years of marriage, she still doesn't get it. She never will. Thus, patience!

errrrr...I live in the south....surrounded by Baptists.<br />
They even get to hold their Sunday services in the public schools.

Yes, in her case, her southern baptist b.s.!!!! I mean, could it be any worse than southern baptist? Trust me, NOOOO! haha Thanks for understanding. Soooo glad it's over! So glad.

Because we are the only sane ones, FiFi!<br />
They all could use a stiff drink, to lighten the load of their perpetual bullshit.

haha -- yes!!! there was a lot of wine, involved! i was the only one drinking. haha

Strength, patience and the hope that you will out-live them.<br />
And plenty of extra cocktails when it's time for family "togetherness."

I know, I hope I'm a great MIL. My parents are fantastic and completely out of the scene, unless asked to participate. Which is the perfect situation. Then we have the other side... oh well, I think PATIENCE is the one lesson that I am supposed to learn. Working on it!!!

¥ou did good, girl.<br />
I like to think I would never be an icky mother-in-law.<br />
But I get the feeling these women were just as crazy in their youth.

My heart goes out to you! I've got one quite a lot like yours. You did handle it well!! There's no reasoning with them, no handling, as you said.<br />
Good job, FiFi. you got through it relatively unscathed. The best-case scenario.

Well, it sounds like I took the high road and handled it well. The truth is that --- there is no "handling" this woman. Your best bet is to let her rant, then quietly run for your life. haha I'm not the personality type that sits there quietly, as you all know. But, this is one person and situation that I have learned to avoid and escape! haha I'm laughing now, I was stressed for the entire week, leading up to my encounter with her. She's a nightmare. jeeeeesh, glad it's over.

I love the way you handled it. No confrontations, just skeedaddle out of there. Believe me, if she wants your family to think they are important to her, she'll think twice before she lectures you again.

No, trust me... I've learned from experience that "quiet and respectful" is the only way to deal with this woman. ESPECIALLY, IF THERE ARE NOT WITNESSES!!!!

You have more patience than I do.