She's Certainly Something

In the beginning, there was Mother-in-law:  clearly a force to be reckoned with.j

 

My husband had never said much good about her.  Based on stories I'd heard from those who know her, my mind painted a picture of a, well, of a *****.  She was abusive on several levels, she was emotionally neglectful, and she was stubborn.  She'd made it very difficult to get close to her, in so many ways.  So, I had to learn to back off.

She didn't feel welcome at our wedding, since she was the "step-mother" and the "mother" would be present.  In fact, very few of my husband's family wanted to make the hour drive to our wedding location, though my family all came from way out of state (i.e. New Hampshire, Florida, New York, etc.) to be there.  I hated to see the look on my husband's face when the RSVP cards came back.  I wanted to punch them all.  But somehow, I kept my mouth shut.  I just kept hearing my great grandma's voice, telling me to "kill them with kindness".  My MIL has since told me she wishes I would have called her and screamed at her, because she says she deserved it; she didn't know how to react to my silence.  I told her that's not how I handle problems - I figured she'd come to me after we'd had time to cool down and wanted to talk - I didn't want to say something I'd regret, and I didn't want to put her in that situation.  After that conversation, I truly appreciated where she was coming from, and she me.  Mutual respect was gained!

Now we have a loving relationship and healthy communication with my husband's family.  It's awesome!  I think we finally all learned how to relate, and how to appreciate the other's point of view.  And I finally learned to demonstrate some self control!!  Good times, had by all.  I love happy endings!

usetheforceluke usetheforceluke
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

Thank you so much for sharing a positive story; it encouraged me to continue smiling at, and being kind to my own cruel and litterally coo-coo MIL. I wish you a endless, happy, healthy relationship with your husband. May you grow together through Love. Aloha.