I have one of those unreal situations when it comes to my mother. She is psycho. An horror movie, like What Ever Happened to Baby Jane or Mommy Dearest. It has been like living in an Hitchcock movie. In Thriller, or the twilight Zone.

I am the middle child of 3. My mother is a psycho, and my dad is the enabler. My brother the oldest, has always been the recipient of everything: attention, financial, entitlement. The little monster has severe psychosomatic reactions when I was born.
He would not allow me to breast feed, he took my milk because he was upset I needed my milk.
He was always violent, aggressive, and abusive.
He busted my front teeth when I was little, and stole the fairy money to reward himself with a gift, while my parents said nothing.
He would spit on me if he saw me on the street, and pull my hair screaming I was wearing a wig.
He sexually abused my sister and I but we are not allowed to talk about it.
My brother was the chosen one that was allowed to eat dinner in the dinning room with my parents. My sister and I had to eat in the kitchen with the service people. This was just to ensure that the little boy got what he wanted: his sisters to disappear.

My mother worked. And she had a nanny taking care of us, a 17 yeas old girl, that could not wait to lock us in our rooms to be able to engage in boyfriends activities. I also have a younger sister that has some sort of learning disability, but was never professionally evaluate, and she ended up being border line mentally dysfunctional, partially also due to our upbringing.
Going to a psychologist was out of the question, and she was left on her own to deal with her own demons.

My mother was and is an addict, and when she was home she would get drunk or pass out in the bathroom literally ******** on herself. Otherwise she would spend her time cheating on my dad, stealing, or belittling us and offending my sister and I .
And if we made too much noise while she was trying to sleep coming down from drugs, she would send my dad to belt us. I remember being belted for no reason whatsoever. Just for laying in bed and existing.

My brother had it all: a vespa at 14, a motorcycle at 16, a car at 18. All additional properties were bought in his name. My personal gifts were passed on to his girlfriends, and he was always emotionally and verbally abusive.
And if my sister and I dared to say something, we were told to shut up because " we were just jealous ".

Later I left I decided to go to college in Cali, and I started flying....I started to find that I could count on my own self. I did not need my parents to buy me a car, or a house.
I could do it on my own.

My brother has still remained obsessed with me and the fact that I have what I have. He wants mine too. Him? he never worked, lived at home until he was 30, got this girl pregnant. Got married and popped 2 children. He is well kept by my mom, And my dad...I held him responsible as well.

My mother continues with her addictions, She is now 75. Obese. And nasty, both physically and mentally.
She does not shower, she is overweight, she lives only for her son: She said just recently that he is her ideal type of men, and that she would marry him....
I can only envision the horror story with my scabby mother in a black lace dress marrying her perverted son....Bette davis is a flower compared to this.

Most recently I opened my business, and my mother explicitly asked me to hire him as the CEO.And I just could not do it...Today. My mother has alienated me from my family. She will not talk to me, and she will only endorse what my brother has to say, including the fact that I am a selfish being for not sharing my career with him.

pistacchia pistacchia
51-55, F
7 Responses Aug 29, 2014

"My mother has alienated me from my family"...to be fair, your family has colluded with her, and shares guilt.

Wow, I can only imagine how you've been able to function normally with a mother who's been such a horrible role model for you. My hat is off to you for finding the strength to separate yourself from this negative environment.
You're doing the right thing here, I know it's hard but there's nothing you can do when you're mother is so messed up; especially with her obsession with your brother. Dysfunctional doesn't even describe it fully.
Taking a stand is your best road to happiness. You'll find that you don't need her acknowledgement to survive and succeed.
Continue to be strong and courageous, make your life your own. I wish you well...

Thank you for your support.

It seems to me that the best move you have made is away from these abusive and ignorant people,and good on you for doing so.Its stating the obvious I know,but the worst action you could take is to let the door open in any way,shape or form for them to get back into your life.Stay strong,stay free of them,and never,ever doubt that you did what was absolutely necessary for your survival in this world.Respect and best wishes to you.

I am sorry you have had to deal with this. It isn't fair and it isn't right. I hope you can let go of these people. You deserve better.

God bless you for what you've been through. The best thing you can do is set strong boundaries, and if they don't respect them get protective orders.

Their loss not yours and at their age I wouldn't care. Sorry for being so harsh but you've lived a life time with this problem. Just pray for them and move on.

Wow, stay away from that family!!! Cut them out of your life!!!