Neighbors Deliberately Makes Noise During Down Time And Mimicks

I have a neighbor that makes an effort to make deliberately loud noises when its obvious that my family and I are settling down or preparing for sleep. They do not have a family and live under us. I have a five year old son who has a NATURAL tendency to run and jump, but we try to advisehim  to settle down and regularly remind him that we have neighbors below us.

It has come to a point where the person has created a pattern with little variation. I have been logging. It is to the point where I can tell a guest, "Sit back and wait for it," and it happens.

The neighbor was fine at first. Actually, they were to the point where we never heard a thing. Then a year and a half later, we noticed that they were home more and no longer seemed to have their usual 9-5 schedule. The neighbor made a first complaint by my using of a shredder around two something in the afternoon. I had no idea they were home; eithr way, the device is not what I consider "disturbing" unless you want it to be. Either way their complaint was made by the hint of blasting their music to kingdom come. When I stopped the device, they cut it off. When I start it up again, they blasted their music again. I looked out the window to check for the car, and didn't see it. I waited about ten minutes before resuming. When I turned it back on one last time, the music came on again - to a point of shaking the house. I looked out the window one last time, and finally the car was parked there. I assumed they were parked elsewhere at first but then left out to bring it to the front.

Eitherway, ever since then things have been crazy. I decided to work out for the first time in the back in the bedroom. This was in the afternoon on a Saturday for heaven's sake. I did no more than ten jumping jacks before they were knocking on my door. I apologized, stopped my exercising. Since then I've moved all noisy devices to my bedroom incl exercise equipment. I've composed a notice and attached it to the neighbors door making my intentions clear and advising what I've done in order to respect their right to peace and enjoyment. Even specified the expected time span in which I'd work out.  Our lease states the time of disturbance starts at 11:00p. (mentioned that as well). Basically, I made it clear that if they ever have a n issue to clip a note to my door or knock so that we discuss. I made it clear that I have I am caring and considerate to my neighbors.

Seems it was fine for a few months, but then it just got worst; its now been a year later. Now I've found the pattern that whenever it sounds like we're settling down, they make ridiculous noise. When we're up and about (clearning, cooking, washing, perhaps my son skipping to and fro...when it sounds busy, there is no peep out of the neighbor).

Like at this very moment. Out of consideration of my neighbors, I wash one a week and always start at noon. Its a considerate time I think, especially being that I work 8-12 hours a day and I do not have time to wash and clean during the mid of day like the neighbor downstairs. The issue is that it takes a good 6 hours. If I had time during the day to space out the washing throughout the week for shorter times, I would.  My weekly washing obviously disturbs the neighbor below. And my coming home after 7 to cook and clean (which requires me to walk around much) bothers them. Anyways, my husband and I have been up since 7a. As soon as my husband it out of the shower, the neighbor below has been banging all around the apartment ever since. There is no reason you can think of to justify excessively loud banging for 3 consecutive hours. Slamming of cabinets, drawers, washing machines. Its all we've been hearing all morning. I really feel bad for the neighbors below them.

Throughout the week, they do things like make noise when we retire to bed or nap or to relax with a movie. There was once when it seemed like every time we settled down for dinner (various times in the evening), they would turn on their music. One time my son and I were in the back room and for the first time every I decided to use our entertainment system for his Iron Man. It was only about 5 pm on a Sunday. It was loud but not to a point in which is was excessive or disturbing unless you wanted it to be. I handnt seen their car. assumed they werent home. I could not hear it from our living room so I assumed it was an okay volume with the teniest bit of bass. The next morning, I was off work, the neighbor could not wait. Eight AM they BLASTED THEIR entertainment systems to the point of rocking the house. That's when I knew, Oops, they were home.

I dont work via hints of making noise deliberately to a neighbor to make a point. I prefer conversation or notices. I've done both. When watering a plant, some water trickled on their balcony and i was considerate enough to knock on their door, inform them and apologize. And it the usualy fake, rushed resposne, "It's okay." I'm very considerate with how I tip toe around the house, i dont slam drawers and cabinets, i'm ridiculously considerate after seeing how crazy the neighbor is.

But its only getting worst. The neighbor fails to understand that what bothers them does not bother me, so I'll continue to take care of my family in the considerate manner that I do. I refuse to change anything solely because of their disrespectful hints.  If I am making noise, its all natural and unintenal - every day living. This neighbor is trying to bother us intentionally. I'm not bothered by the noise per say (I know that in apartments it comes with the package and I'm just not sensitive to noise), but I am bothered by the fact that the neighbor is making the noise to deliberately bother my family. 

The neighbor must see that no matter what they do, I will not response with mutual disrespect. But it seems to be getting worst.

My greatest fear is my husband noticing. He's been somewhat oblivious, but recently, with the sounds getting worst and all, he's been noticing a bit more and I'm starting to see his irritation. He's a former marine with no tolerance for disrespect. He's 5'10 and under 200lbs and he has effortlessly defeated a 6 ft 3 in 300+ younger man for his deliberate disrespectful behaviour. I do not want to go through that again. The neighbor has tried to confront my husband once and my husband immediately, but kindly let them know that their complaint was insensible, but apologized that he felt the way he did. (My husband was flipping off dust from an area rug and dust barely touched the rim of the neighbors balcony post.) According to my husband who volunteers to speak of his interactions with neighbors, has told me on a few occassions he's found the neighbor sitting in their car staring over at him. just staring.  

I will talk no more. I will send no more posts. I will apologize no longer. But today the neighbor is being their most ridiculous and I've found myself tempted to talk to my husband about it, but I know that will only reassure what he's been noticing...they're both at home doing the day and the last I need is acall from my husband from jail or the hospital.

I have no choice it seems but to go to the rental office and make a complaint. But with all the effort I've made on my own, I'm pretty sure that will greatly and certainly make it even worst.

Ultimately, it sounds like the neighbor is going to keeping getting worst until he finds that he's successfully bother me by me responding. The neighbor has slammed cabines and drawers and dropped ehaving items slammed the washer and dryer over 100 times this morning (i WISH i was exaggerating).

Please be more than welcome to suggest that I am wrong and what could possibly going on. But keep in mind, while this may sound absurd, everyone is NOT sane and there are TERRIBLE neighbors who intentionally are disrespectful to others and I just may have one of those neighbors.

Please kindly advise with your suggestions and opinions.

darkhoney35 darkhoney35
12 Responses Oct 24, 2010

I'm fully with you. It’s like people forget that they where also annoying children making others live miserable. There are two categories of people who will not be so understanding: People who had children and heir children are older than yours and people who never had children, singles/couples.

It’s very frustrating I know as my Neighbor get annoyed with my toddler who is very noisy but its part of growing up, you need to let your child experiment and have some freedom growing up. This neighbor of mine is completely out of his mind… He know exactly when we settle down or put our toddler to bed and then he will make this massive random noise with his stereo or he will send his child to come scream at our child’s window like a complete freak.

I have spoken to some other people and come to a conclusion that these patterns of noisy neighbors increase in social groups where people work different hours. In other words if you a stay at home and the neighbor works night sift. How ever this neighbor is a an idiot and all he need to so to get rest in is to go to the bedroom to the opposite side of his house to get some sleep in.

My conclusion, People need to consider each other allot more. Moms with toddlers/babies need to get more rights and laws need to be setup for intentional disruptive behavior.

Use to, a women in her 60'z complained that my outdoor-indoor cat was going through her garden several times. I said well sorry, but it's a cat, that's what they do and he probably helped fertilize your plants.

Downstairs are the worst in my opinion. Like you I heard nothing from my downstairs neighbor for 1 year and a half and then all of a sudden I had wild crazy tapping and booming from under me and music booming whenever I make a noise. Just like you are saying my crazy *** neighbor never makes a peep when im doing everyday things or with my tv on but you sit there quiet and random crazy tapping and booming or switches being repetively switched on and off and other craziness happens!!!!

I have an old lady living below me and I used to tip toe around and be extremely quiet to the point I had my tv on seriously so quiet that I could only just hear it and would talk quiet all the time out of curtsey for what I believed to be a nice neighbor. One day I was painting which involves the noise of perhaps the brush at most and me walking around quietly to paint different areas of my frames in my flat, and the crazy old coot started shouting at me through the floor for absolubtly no reason when I was painting!!!!

I was in disbelief really that she had the cheek to shout at me when I was so so quiet, and I heard her saying "you started this blah blah blah" I mean it is so sound proof in my block that I cant hear what my upstairs neighbors are saying so she must of been screaming which is what I heard!!! So ultimately she was angry because I was being quiet.

So... I decided if she doesnt like me being courteous I will show the old bag what noise really is!!!!!!
Since the incident of her shouting where she also followed me for a whole day commenting on what I was doing by shouting through the floor and tapping wildly I have been a right a hole and put my tv loud every day, not too loud but how a normal person would have it instead of being quiet like before. Also every time she now taps or booms I just ignore and then carry on like normal which must annoy her because she is no longer recieving attention which is clearly what she is after since she is lonely.
I also have started gaining a sense of normality because of now feeling I can be more noisy because knowing my downstairs neighbor is not worthy of my curtsey makes it easier to justify any noise I make be it excessive or not.

The creepy old fool of a woman also watches me as I leave the block which is especially funny since she wont dare to leave her flat but when inside her flat she can shout and bang as if she is someone special and she has a blind in her kitchen as I walk past it is a slat blind and you can see her just sitting on a chair in the kitchen staring out the window!!!!!

I strongly believe some people are just jealous and impossible to please and these types of people will never be happy no matter how nice or quiet you are and the best thing is to ignore them and laugh at them, perhaps bring your friends around and get them to laugh as your wacky neighbor bangs or shouts which will make them likely to stop and be embarrassed in my opinion.

Anyone who has an upstairs neighbor should get it into their heads that you will hear noise and the only time anyone should get upset in any way is if your upstairs neighbor is like mine and makes noise from 12am untill 4am every night. It is hard to understand how anyone can be up all night and not care for the neighbor underneath but my neighbors upstairs are a bit retarded and have learning disabilities so I suppose they are a little different to your average tenant.

In my experience housing associations and police do not care nor help and you should always use this method as a last resort and always try to resolve things calmly and without aggression, if your neighbors are **** heads and selfish individuals then you can either move or annoy them back, which could have backlash.

In conclusion the best thing to do in my opinion is to ignore people from up or downstairs and go on with your daily routine as normal because the a holes are probably the sort of people that no one would give the time of day to in the street and most probably very sad individuals who attention seek and have to make other peoples lives a misery (or try to) to feel some sort of worth in their pathetic lives.

Best of luck to other people with their annoying neighbors!

I'm from the UK and have an irritating neighbour, for some reason to annoy us when we're quiet he start's... tap tap tap on the wall. We're not noisy people by nature and my partner is getting really fed up with it! Hope all works out well for all of us with annoying neighbour's.

I know how you feel with this post because this is exactly what happens in my block!!! just ignore them and if need be ask the housing association for some recording equipment so you can get evidence and hopefully get the sados evicted!!

In my opinion, it takes two to tango. Sometimes lifestyle, persona, and needs don't match.
This may stem from history, experience and life goals and personal expectations of what should be right. ( You left out one more factor other than noise, which is light, temperature, tidiness and odor etc)

First, you keep saying they are crazy and not respectable; Since everyone is not sane and there are neighbor who terrorize.

Just a few pointers, not everyone has to work. Just because you are a younger, more mainstream and normal family that has a job and self-termed better life doesn't make your neighbor Crazy or less respectable ?

In fact it is a chore to have to work or have children to some. If one can choose not to have 9 to 5 job is their freedom and blessing.
( you exercise, wash, cook clean etc at different times. )

(Your neighbor gets up to do things at night is their freedom and normal for some people who has diabetics or sun aversion)( old people etc)
(A handicap Elderly sensitive to party noise, but happy to hear children noise) ( Or a war scared veteran who lost his wife may be indifferent to people kiss and hold hand, in broad daylight).
(An artist or writer who needs complete quiet and moral purity to focus)

The impression I get is you are sensitive because you feel you do not deliberately cause disturbance to them justifies as a good neighbor. Just because it is not deliberate doesn't make things legal or acceptable. (I can hit a person Not deliberately or I didn't deliberately cough)

In fact the Neighbor may feel something that you shouldn't be doing certain things a certain way. Or maybe you shouldn't be there in the first place. (I am assuming you are not telling everything in the story, and it is only your account here)

You say you do disturbs them but hey do not disturb you; yet you write notes, trickle water, complain to rental office and going to tell your husband, That's because you feel they respond to get back at your natural noisier behavior. Because you are very nosy. 3 people very active all day. You see, if you smell, The neighbor is affected, you are not. Then you say I am not affected by my neighbor. Obviously, you are too smelly to smell your own odor.( 75% of the senses is based on the nose)( Maybe you dress to sexily or walk around visibly more naked by the windows, or your husband, so the neighbor stares: to their conservative visual distaste)( Or you may do these things along the common area?)(or Maybe you dry your undergarment too visibly?)
( Maybe you are not clean along the common area) ( Maybe you leave bicycle outside the door)(maybe your plants breeds mosquitoes and attracts unwanted pest, which all adds to their frustrations) ( How about the trash etc etc etc) How about when you bring friends home and talk loudly and consume alcohol or party?) I don't know.

Of course your neighbor don't confront you, your husband is a marine. Actually when your neighbor makes noise means he is considerate to tolerate yet is polite not to confront you.

Since you wash your clothes at night and on weekend. The neighbor can't rest.

Sounds to me before you came, the neighbor has a very quiet life.

Maybe your lifestyle could be too hectic or foreign to their liking.

When the water trickle down, you went and apologies and you say they faked and say "it's ok."

Well, of course it's ok. It means its ok but stop doing all this funny things like dusting mats, trickle water etc., and then apologies? I mean she can't say stop watering the plants.

Anyways I hope this helps.

Take care
Love Rob Roy

You can be friend me at

Maybe it's because your the one who started the noise with your kid and
Not forgetting their schedule has changed from 9-5pm ,you should control
Your kids more i.e running and jumping.

my neighbor upstairs is a old fashion muslim that's married to his own cousine. I hear him beating up on her sometimes, he has two sons in college and university! he's home all day and doesnt like anyone living under him, so when my man and baby go off to work and school, he stumps with his feet to get me out, he listens to everything we do from upstairs, maybe he has some special devise that pick up sounds, I dont know how he knows when we are having sex and listens to us and bangs either the same day or the next. for a while he didnt even like me in the kitchen cooking, he's move his chairs and bang things on the floor. after 5 yrs of this bullshit, I'm tired of talking, I burn onion peels to make them very unhappy but used other things to protect my self. there's this thing I'm useing called ( war water) I sprinkle a but of it in front of their door every now and then, and say and feel that the apartment upstairs is empty and their there no more! I pretend that they moved out of the area somewhere far away, so far it seems to be working! I think the mind power works the most, with the war water I'm using, let's see how long he lasts. maybe he will learn that this is Canada and you cant come here to use our education and use the system and bring your fanatic religion here, hopefully he will learn the next place he moves to, to mind his own business! find some things you can use to get rid of bad neighbors from google.

Oh i have a bad neighbour almost as bad as yours. !! But it is just a single mom with a baby.!!!!!!!!<br />
But yeah...what do they do in there.....throw furniture around ?? Like our pictures move, my clock moves and man when she stomps up and down those stairs. watch out. she is coming thru the wall. I have never been mean to her. I talk to her when she talks to me, but other than that i do nto wish for a relationship with her. This bothers her. Well too bad. SO yeah, And her b/f lives there and he is not supposed to. I normally really wouldn't care if she was a nice person, but not her. And u want to talk about NOSY???????????????? Every single time she has been here and someone has come to my back or front door, she comes out. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pretends she is just coming out for a smoke. She does not smoke in the house cause of the baby. I think that is a lie too, cause there are days they do not come out of the house at all. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But anyway, i totally understand u and i feel so sorry for you. I do not know why landlords let people like that rent.<br />
Here i live in a government run complex of town houses. You would think that if u r giving someone a break, they should appreciate it, and act accordingly. Hmmm Well i will be moving soon so hopefully where i go won't be worse. GOod lucky with u. u can contact me anytime---especially if she is driving u nuts and u need an outlet. Good luck. :)

You have my sympathies. I have a neighbour who behaves in a similarly irritating manner. In my opinion it's just really childish or retarded behaviour. <br />
<br />
Yes, the best thing to do is to ignore it, as it seems to be that if you give them any attention, either by continuing to try a civilized dialogue with them, or by retaliating with similar noises, that you will just provoke them to more ridiculous actions.<br />
<br />
It's amazing how some people can be so inconsiderate of other people.<br />
<br />
I think that you have done more than enough to try and reason with them. <br />
<br />
Ignore them. If you can't, then leave with your sanity and self respect intact!

You have my sympathies. I have a neighbour who behaves in a similarly irritating manner. In my opinion it's just really childish or retarded behaviour. <br />
<br />
Yes, the best thing to do is to ignore it, as it seems to be that if you give them any attention, either by continuing to try a civilized dialogue with them, or by retaliating with similar noises, that you will just provoke them to more ridiculous actions.<br />
<br />
It's amazing how some people can be so inconsiderate of other people.<br />
<br />
I think that you have done more than enough to try and reason with them. <br />
<br />
Ignore them. If you can't, then leave with your sanity and self respect intact!

I understand the feeling. I lived in an apt that was very poorly insulated and had wooden floors.<br />
I carpeted where I could, but I liked the wooden floors. My neighbor wasn't as bad as your's.<br />
I lived alone and was out at work a lot. He once complained when I played my music too loud and I immediately stopped. He wasn't nasty about it, but still complained when I walked around the apt. <br />
After a while I felt I had to walk on tiptoes. His apt was fitted with a fancy surround sound system and his way of punishing me was to watch Civil War Movies (how uncivil) at full blast on a sunday morning. He had six to eight speakers installed in his ceiling and it felt like I had soldiers marching through my hose. The cabinets would shake and the glass would rattle. <br />
He also had a tendency to get very drunk and when he did, he'd bang on my door and demand that I bring him wine. So I can understand how you feel. You should complain to the rental office. <br />
The last thing you want is for your husband to lose his temper.

You live over a crazy person who is the center of the world in their own mind... you can't change anyone else... you have to live with it or leave or have the landlord evict them once you've documented all of their bull crap that breaks the terms of their lease<br />
<br />
OR you could go downstairs and have a cup of coffee and talk to each other, make nice (in person), and see if you can't compromise... but you've already tried that haven't you? If nothing else works, I'd go about my daily living and let my crazy neighbor get used to the fact that human beings make noise in the course of attending to their lives... they'll probably act out some more for a while but in time, if they get NO attention from it, they'll probably get tired of the one-sided game and maybe even do something nondestructive with the gift of time that they've been given. <br />
In the meantime, nothing can bother you that you don't pay attention to.