My First Story

I have a crush on a coworker and it is painful. Sometimes I wish I could find another job, just to be away from her, but I can't find another job in this economy. Plus, I keep thinking my feelings will fade.  But this has gone on for 18 months or so and if anything, they just grow deeper.  She is a straight woman, older than me, and so there's no chance in hell of anything coming of it. It makes me miserable.

searchingsapphic searchingsapphic
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 17, 2010

I don't know, but I guess that it is just something that needed to happen-to wake me up. I do believe things happen for a reason, This was the impetus to make me finally realize that I'm a lesbian.<br />
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With that said, she's still eminently crush-worthy. I spent two hours with her tonight and getting your comment in my email right after that made me realize that I'm just barely over her. Perhaps it's truly more than a "crush".

I'm sorry! I think that having a crush that painful means something else is going on in your life. I know that doesn't take the pain away but maybe you can figure out why you're feeling this way.