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Crushing On A Best Friend And Obsessing About It!!

I've registered on this website just now, after I got it in search results about crushing on your best friend. So, I thought maybe it I shared my story too I'll feel better about it.

Well, first of all, I'm Muslim and I'm living in Egypt. It's kinda hard here for a girl to confess her feelings first to the guy she likes, and actually I did it 8 years ago when I was 15 and the results weren't good!

Anyways, he's my best friend from college, I know him for 3 years now, and started to have feelings for him since last July. At first it was just I couldn't resist smiling when he's smiling, we were already best friends for a while, more than a year, and through which I had another 2 crushes, but nothing serious. We're a group of friends not just me and him, and one of my besties in the group noticed it and tried to shut it down as early as she could, but I didn't listen, I wanted to fall, I guess I was desperate for someone in my life...

Then exams came and we were parted a little, then in the very recent time we've been chatting almost all the day, hang out with other friends from time to time, he checks on me when I write something sad online, he gets me a cab when we're out, he knows my brother and sister, and I know one of his sisters...

I don't want to ruin this friendship!

Few days ago I asked him anonymously on a website if he think he'll know if a girl crushes on him, he brought it up when I was with him and another friend, and asked me if it was me who asked this Q. I lied to him, I could have said yes in a funny way but I couldn't. But then later that day while on chat I brought it up again and asked him for the answer and he said he doesn't know! Which made me confused more..

Now I feel like I'm stalking him, check his facebook profile like a 100 times/day, I think he does too, sometimes he likes a status that I wrote like 20 hours ago which didn't get too much likes to be in the feed!

I don't know, I'm trying to get myself excuses, and I don't know if anyone out here will care enough to read all of this from a random stranger, but please, if you do reach here while reading, give me any advice......

Oh, yeah and I forgot to mention that one of my brother's best friends is crushing on me and I noticed and told him and one more friend about it and he gave no response, he was like yeah cool whatever!

I'm stupid and can't think on my own.. any help???
xtonaZ xtonaZ 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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It's always hard for a girl to say this to "special him", no matter what part of the world they are living in. I think you should wait a bit more... or otherwise you should have a lot of courage to tell it to him and then be ready to handle gracefully any answer he gives you. I know when its about feelings its hard to resist, but checking his profiles and online status will not help your stability alot. You are important and it's "you" who is going to stay with yourself till forever.. So try to give yourself a lot of importance. If you are not clear about his feeling do not tell about this to a lot of people except a very few trust worthy friends. Coz if in future it doesn't work out, you will remain confused or nervous around people who has nothing to do with it. Plus talking about it a lot will make you think and fall more and more. Specify the important goals in your life and if you get any time after having the perfect day think about it... There are people who care to listen and love and solve your problems... Do fall for the right ones or don't fall at all. Keep standing proudly.. Allah has made you complete and beautiful... and there is nothing important than this..
Cheer Up!

Well I think he likes you, you should talk to him about this. If he doesn't then sorry, you'll have to move on like the rest of us.

IK how you feel girl.....I always had a crush on my best friend, Justin. Ever since we were 6 and playing Kingdom. :P Then just last year I had broken up with a guy named Michael, who all he ever thought about was sex. I didn't like it at all. Which is why I dumped him. Shortly a few weeks after that, Justin had texted me "I really need to talk to you. " I was very worried and I called him instantly. When I asked him what was wrong he told me something I never would expect....he liked me too. So if you never try you will never know. I know it's harder then it sounds, but if you really like this guy. You must be brave. :)

There is only one thing you can do..you have to find out if he likes you first. But if this seems impossible and there is no way you can find out, you have to tell him. You may regret telling him but you're going to regret not telling him too..and only by telling him is there any chance of you getting what you want. You might regret it either way but only by telling him do you at least have a chance of that happiness

thanks, but figuring out HOW to tell him, is a big problem in itself...

Don't live in fear... If he turns away from you just for being honest with him, then believe me, you would have had much bigger problems as a couple...

Besides... how do you know he's not in the same dilemma as you? maybe he feels the same?

I suspect you know him well enough to predict his answer. If you're both conservative Muslims then I can see why he might push you away if the feelings aren't mutual. But if he's a reasonable and mature person then you might be able to sit down and talk about it. Let him know that you value his friendship, and should stay good friends above all, regardless of whether or not you pursue a relationship. Frankly, if he wants nothing to do with you from there on, then find yourself a more open minded best friend. Good luck :)

thanks a lot

If you have been friends for a while then i would step back and think first before plunging.
Its a make or break friendship, if he feels the same it could turn out right but it can also destroy everything between you.
If you care about him so much think about how much it would hurt to loose him altogether, do you really want that?

That's what's holding me back from telling him, I'm waiting till I become ready to give up on him as a friend, if he doesn't feel the same, cause even if he's gonna be cool about it, I don't think I'll be cool about it after confessing my feelings..

Hi, I live in egypt too :) and i know how complicated it is to be a girl and confess to a guy that you like him! not fun. but the good news is if you guys are really close then he might consider it. but the bad news is that maybe he'll start pushing you away. but i think if you guys are close then thats likely not to happen (maybe). Good Luck

thanks a lot

I have the same exact problem exept I'm afraid that the girl I love doesn't like me and will never talk to me. I can't really say anything because she lives in another state in the US now. If he likes you then you should confess maybe in private so society doesn't get in the way. I no if the girl I love came up to me and confess would be the happiest person ever.

Thanks Jason for your comment, but I'm not sure, I'm afraid if he turns me down, I'll lose a very good friend, plus being rejected twice will cause me some sort of complications in my love life later.. *sighs*

Oh yea um that had happened to me with my first love she never talks to me now but ask someone whom see you to together a lot and ask them to go up to him and ask him what he thinks of you and does he like you.

mmm.. that could work.. thanks you, and best of luck in your relationship.

Thank you! You let me no how it works out.

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