Just A Harmless Crush, A Victimless Crime Really

First let me say that I believe the crush is mutual and that neither of us will ever disclose or act on it.  It may not even be mutual, but that doesn't matter.  This delightful crush does not affect work, except to make the mundane a bit more exciting.  It gives me extra reason to think about what I might wear and whether to get to work extra early.  At the same time we respect each other as professionals and we set a good example for others in the workplace.

Still, there is something...

The picture is just for visual effect.  Neither of us is a supermodel, but we have both worked to keep in shape and held up well since we first met about 15 years ago through work. Eye contact and smiles, an awareness that we are admiring each other, have a lot to do with this crush.  She is not technically my boss, not anymore.  She was for a year and a half, a pretty great 18 months.  Now, by twist of fate, I am her boss, so I am certainly not going to do anything stupid.  No more stupid than I would otherwise do anyway.  The crush is too delightful to ruin.

There is a good chance that our roles may reverse again someday.  I think I liked it better that way, with her as the boss.
WildeOscar WildeOscar 51-55, M 5 Responses Nov 25, 2011

Your Response


Love this story and the replies especially the last one - ha ha ha! I have a crush on my older boss, though i am a woman and she is too so its a little bit different, and i always felt i should act on it but reading your message I have realised something i never have before, that just keeping the crush as a crush and not acting on it may be the best idea of all! Like you say acting on it could ruin my marriage (though my husband says he finds it quite a turn on that i fancy another woman!!), my income and the whole joy of going to work that is there at present. Thankyou so much for making me realise that my crush doesnt have to go anywhere, it can just be. That said if it came to what you've mentioned above i would not have the willpower to resist! :)

If you let me watch, I will change absolutely my advice to the man with a crush on his female boss. You are in a whole other catgeory, but sadly, the advice does still mostly apply. On the bright side, you can get away with making nice comments about her appearance or say lifting a piece of lint off her clothing in a way that a man could not. Enjoy these secret flirtations!

Ha ha I bet you would!! Thought that advice was hilarious though, made me laugh out loud. You know i always thought it made it more difficult with my boss being a woman too, never occurred to me that i can get away with more. Have to try your compliment and lint idea. So glad I stopped by to read your story, you have been fun and informative to talk to :)

Wild Oscar, I couldn't have said it any better myself. Almost a carbon copy of my story. Without the promotion. And the time we've worked together. LOL. My boss is an attractive older woman and we have a mutual crush on each other. The little things-an extra second or two of eye contact where the physical attraction is attraction between us is palpable, the want we both seem to have to look our best for each other (I notice that she's begun dressing nicer since I transferred to her department), the times she's touched me on my arm or shoulder to emphasize something or make a point. All of these in concert make coming to work a joy. Neither of us would ever act on it, she's married and i have a girlfriend, but man does it feel good. Lately, though she's been going back and forth between seeming to enjoy this to being scared of it. I get it, but it hurts when she's obviously trying hard to make sure noone notices by maybe being a little too aloof with me. That's why I need these feelings to wane. It's wrong on a lot of levels. So I'm gonna match her for now. If she's being flirty, I'll reciproicate. If she's being aloof, I'll do the same.

I'm with you, man, but if she ever sweeps everything off her desk, leans back on it, and says: "take me now", resist, resist, resist. Poke your eyes out, if you have to. It may be fantastic, but will ruin your work, your relationship, and the crush.

I understand this... too well lol but it is delightful that you keep your approach professional and just enjoy the crush... I do the same :) although I did act on one crush once...

Not with me! I can barely conceal my envy at his good fortune in your arms. Now I'm gonna pout. Good thing we don't work together.

Workplace crushes do offer an extra zing to the workday for sure! I completely understand this story and the importance of keeping it... a pleasure of the mind.

It is one of the joys of working, and one of the disadvantages of work-from-home arrangements.

Hi WildeOscar, I found this story so charming...I like the way you approach the situation...instead of bull-dozing, making a move and wrecking it, you are content to take it for what it's worth...that's refreshing in a world where most people bleed everything dry for more gratification...ooph, that sounds a tad strong...but, you know what I mean... Btw, having read some of your comments...I must say I really enjoy your subtle and gentle sense of humour...

EP is such a great place to share ideas huh...

Abby, I like the way you express this. I can enjoy an occasional daydream or fantasy indefinitely, or I can ruin the whole thing, upset our family arrangements, and eliminate my income all at once. I'm going to stand by the crush; the sex might not be that great, and we might have drama to deal with. Nope, I'm enjoying the crush too much.