I Really Need Advice On My Crush...

Hi everyone! This is my first story on EP. First, let me tell you some things you should know about me so that you can give me your opinion (if you want) about my situation. I'm in middle school (7th grade). The middle school I go to is not the stereotypical type... nerds, jocks, popular people... nothing like that. Nerds can fit in just fine. I could be a nerd, except I'm not at this school, since I lean towards the half-popular type here. I wear glasses, and I want contact lenses so badly. Because without glasses, I actually look pretty. I'm not that popular (on a scale of one to ten i would rate myself as a 7) , but I have a lot of friends and the boys like me just fine (I don't think that many "like like" me but they think I'm cool). My friends assure me I look pretty even with glasses but I don't know whether or not to believe that. Everyone sees me as this amazing kid, since I skipped a grade, but I still get straight As (I usually get 100% or above on every subject) and still is the smartest in the class. Let's just say I'm not the most talented person. I'm not really the atheletic kind of person... the only "sport" I'm actually good at is running. I'm a really good runner, one of the fastest and strongest in the school. I took second place in our school annual Jog-a-thon... where you just run as many laps as you can in 30 minutes. My art skills are fine I guess... I wouldn't say I'm WOW at art but I must admit the results are pretty good. The only talent I actually know I have besides getting straight As (I don't even know if that counts as a talent) is that I'm a really good singer. We have a student council at our school, and last year I ran for Secretary and won :).
I've had a lot of crushes in the past, but this one is way different. I have a crush on the student council president (I'm not mentioning his name, for privacy's sake). Since I'm the secretary, I have to work with the president a lot. At first, I just wanted to do my best work and impress him... you know sort of how you would want to impress your boss? :P Then, that wanting to impress my "boss" thing turned into wanting to impress my crush. I kept trying to deny it, telling myself "No. It's not possible. Why would you like him, idiot?" I mean, even though I'm well-liked at our school, he's way out of my league. Like I said, I'm not really popular, and he's like WAY POPULAR (I know I said there's not "popular" labels at our school, but if you were to look at this the stereotypical way...). He's one of the smartest in his class too (gets straight As), and he's very atheletic and cute :). And he's in 8th grade. Why would he like a stupid 7th grader like me? I mean, he probably just sees me as a little kid. Besides, he's way taken. Practically all of the 8th grade girls have a crush on him because he's Mr. Popular. He has a lot of hot 8th graders to choose from.
Even though I have a very slight chance with him, I would say that we've become very close since I became the student council secretary, and he became the president. Before this, we really didn't talk, and I didn't have a crush on him. I don't know why I have a crush on him, but he's just so attractive... I can't help it. We've become close enough that I would say he's more than my "boss". I think that, without it being spoken, we're like friends. He tells me stuff about his life, and I do too. I would say I have a special relationship (not that lovey dovey kind I think only I think of him that way) with him that he has with no one else in the student council. I just feel that we're close enough that we're friends, but that we're never gonna be anything more than friends. I hate that feeling... it just makes me feel so helpless. So depressed. But still... call me stupid (and if you do I so agree), but I think my chance is growing bigger. I don't know what the hell is going on inside my head to make me think this, but I think based on all the things that's happened between us, he's starting to maybe give me a chance? This is really big for me, especially since I've never told anyone about my crush (not friends, family, you're the first people). Because I'm afraid that if I did, they would just laugh in my face. You're probably laughing at me now. I can't blame you. I'm such an idiot for falling in love with him, and thinking I might be starting to have a chance with him.
Anyways, let me just tell you a few things that's happened between us...

So he's in 8th grade. Why would he care about any of the 7th graders life? That's what I asked myself when he actually shows interest in my life (which happens more and more often now). For example, over the weekend once, I was texting a group of people (group convo) on Skype on my iPhone. We were being random, and then this guy started spamming. We all told him to stop, but he didn't. And he froze my phone up for a while (lucky for him, my phone didn't completely break, it worked again a little later). Then to make matters worse, he and a friend started trying to call me, messing with me. It wasn't serious, that's just how boys and girls messed around with each other at our school. I wasn't that mad, because I'm kinda the soft type and I never get mad at anyone but myself, much less hold a grudge. But when we came back to school I was pretending to be mad at him and playfully threatening to "get him". So Mr. President overheard, and he asked me if I was OK, and what they did to me. And I was like long story. Student council was setting up for an assembly. So I needed to go to a classroom to set up (everyone else was setting up in other classrooms except me and president). So he was smiling at me and saying "tell me". I was really excited and wanted to tell him, but I had to go set up. So he was like "I'll go with you to set up, and you can tell me while we're doing it" (he said something like that I don't remember his exact words). I was ******* happy :). So ya we went and I couldn't help noticing how he was looking at me with those cute eyes and smiling at me and laughing (I kinda notice that every time we talk)
Then I remember another time when we were both hurt. One time, he fell down the stairs and sprained his ankle. Almost a week later, I had volleyball playoffs. I'm not the strongest player on the team, but that day I was doing especially well, and I was the star of the game. We were losing badly (we lost the first set and we're now losing the second one too... and the game), and I scored a lot of points and brought the game back for us. However, at the end of the second set when the score was tied, I tried reaching for the ball and bumping it, but I slid and twisted my ankle and the other team scored. The score was 24-23 now, and one more point and the other team got the game. Well... I was out of the game since I was hurt, and the other team scored the last point and won :(. Anyways, I came back to school with a limp. Mr. President (my nickname for him) noticed and asked what happened. I felt kinda special cuz another girl also had a limp from falling during ice skating but he didn't notice. I was pleases with his concern :). So we were especially close over the next week, since we were both hurt. I enjoyed the extra attention.
Many more things happened between us, but I only have time to tell you one more thing. This was stuck in my mind for a long time, and I still think about it all the time. So, we had this student council project, and we were working on a poster together. We were talking, and I forgot how but we got to talking about love. He told me that he used to like this really popular girl in the 8th grade, but that hes now "over it". Then, I casually said: "Well the question is: Who do you like now?" He was quiet for a while, and I got the feeling he was uncomfortable with the question so I didn't press on. But then he asked me "Who do you like?" And I tried using the same tactic as him - not answering and being silent - but unlike me, he pressed on.
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Just cuz" (I know that was a dumb thing for me to say)
Then he said something that made my heart stop: "Is it who I think it is?"
"Who do you think I like?"
"_______" (He said our technology commisioner in the student council, but I can't tell you the name, for privacy.)
"Why would you think I like him?"
"Because you always talk to him in the mornings when we set up for assembly" (we have morning assembly everyday)
"Well that's cuz none of the girls are here as early as I am who am I supposed to talk to?"
"What about me?"
Again, my heart stopped. He wanted me to talk to him? I felt a mix of emotions that made me dizzy. "Well, ya, but you're talking to your friends" (He talks to his friends in the morning)
This seemed to make him stop and think about it. "Not always. Sometimes I wish I could talk to you, but you're talking to (tech commissioner)"
"Well, I didn't know you wanted to talk to me. But just so you know I like him (meaning tech commmissioner) as a friend, but I don't 'like like' him."
Silence. Then we were done with our poster. We started cleaning up. He said: "Hey wanna work on posters again with me next time? I think we did pretty good."
"Sure." (I know I'm horrible at finding the right words to say)
Then, when he was all packed up and started to walk away I said, "Wait!"
He turned around.
I said, "Who do you like?"
He looked down. "Can't say."
"Why not?"
"Cuz you won't believe me." Then he walked away and I decided not to bother him anymore.

That last event i told you about was the most memorable between me and him. It gave me new hope that he might possibly have feelings for me. Anyways... he also complimented me a lot of times, and it made me feel prouder than ever. He would say small things like "Good job" or "You have such neat handwriting" or "How do you run so fast?" or "You're crazy smart."

Please leave comments and advice. Like how can I tell if he likes me or not? What signs should I look for to see if a boy likes me? And what do boys want in a girl? How should I impress him? How should I talk to him (cuz you know, everytime i should like a total idiot)? Please help me :(. Any advice would be appreciated. Please don't leave mean comments. Thx so much :D you don't know how much this means to me
xxbutterflygirlxx xxbutterflygirlxx
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 1, 2013

i dont mind helping, just message me and i will try to help