So Many Emotions

My freshman year i liked one of my brother 's friends who was currently a junior. i was completely and painfully shy and awkward around him and i knew that he noticed. eventually he found out because my idiot brother told him. after that things got even more awkward becausr i felt uncomfortable knowing that he knew i i liked him. my feelings were so strong for him that it hurt because i knew i couldn't him.he was still nice to me however and even considered that we be friends. That didnt really work out well because i was still awkward around him. its now been a year and everytime i see him i try to avoid him and not start conversation because i dont want to start having feelins for him again.i am a complete mess.