I Shouldn't Have Taken That Phone Call...

I've known her for over 12 years.  Even though she is way out of my league, she's always flirted with me and subtly shown that she likes me being around.  All the time that we've known each other, we've always been in relationships while the other was single.  So, we've never even spoken of being more than friends, and plus like I said, I couldn't legitimately compete with the men she dated.

Today, she called to say her marriage is going through some very rough spots (which she has mentioned before), and she's planning a visit (overnight) with an old guy friend from school that she hasn't seen in years.

How many times will I experience something like this and just worship her from a distance instead of saying something?  I can't possibly count the number of times from the past when I did this with this same incredible woman.

I shouldn't have answered that phone...


GuiltyofNothing GuiltyofNothing
41-45, M
8 Responses Jun 6, 2007

All these people saying man up and tell her, the worst case scenario is that she says she doesn't feel the same way and it's so embarrassing you never speak again!! I'm in a similar situation with a guy although we're both single - I adore him but I'm so afraid I could ruin everything I'm afraid the rejection (which I'm pretty sure I can bank on) will hurt way more than the humiliation of telling him. Grr emotions are so hard!<br />
You feel like she's out of your league but I wouldn't let that consume you. Often other people's perceptions of us are higher than our own, clearly you get on well from your long standing friendship.<br />
You know I think you should tell her - it's worth the gamble! Write it to her if you can't do it face to face! Maybe it would be better to think I wish I'd never told her than thinking I wish I'd never answered the phone?!<br />
Good luck - Keep us posted!

Answer the Phone? did I miss something here? your talking about soemone you care about? Man up! tell her. or..... just wait to hear how mr wrong is so wonderful and wait some more to comfort her in the mistake you already know is coming... How many miles will you let this travel before your wishing to roll back the odometer?

lol, god shoulda put a roll back button on life's odometer.

*ok, you done good and screwed this life up, let's hit the restart button and hope you don't screw it up again.*

Well, if she's having an overnight with an old guy friend, i think it's perfectly acceptable for you to voice your own feelings for her. the worst she can do is turn you down, but then at least you know finally and can move on.

wow, that's quite the crappy situation. <br />
<br />
Good luck handling things, go find yourself somebody who doesn't get married to somebody they will cheat on. <br />
<br />
lolz, shoulda taken my own advice.

"follow your heart and not your head." So basically just run your life ba<x>sed on your emotions and don't think about any of your decisions. I don't agree with that advice at all, it works in Hollywood, but that's the only place. This woman is married and is about to have an affair. Stay away from her, she's bad news.

Time to man up - a regretful life isn't worth living in the first place ;)

Make sure that you follow your heart and not your head. Take it from someone who had had a Crush on someone and found out he was maried and with kids.. . Take care and good luck..Monarch12

I feel for you, I had the similar situation where the girl would flirt, and I knew she liked me, it was clear, but the problem was she was engaged, and it was also clear her decision was wrong because she was drifting away from her relationship. But as much as I liked her and thought about her every day, I didn't want to purse her just because of the fact she was engaged. So I started to ignore her because i couldnt deal with the pain. It so happens I lost contact, for about a year now, and I regret holding my feelings back for her. I think you should just tell her, it will release great burden of your chest.