Anxious


So I met this really great guy on an online dating site. It started real slow, seeing each other maybe once a week. It went to twice a week after a few weeks and I would always gets texts saying 'When can I see you again?'
He would buy me dinner and we would talk and make stupid jokes.
Well of course it led up to a night when we went out clubbing. I hadn't been out clubbing in years and I got really drunk (but so did he) we went back to his place and we had sex, then had sex early the next morning.
All was great, I really liked him, I enjoyed being close to him. He messaged me the next day knowing I'd be in town and wondered when I would come over. I ended up going there later that night. We got take out, watched tv then went to 'bed'. 
I had to go to work the next day and so did he, so we left at the same time. Later that night I messaged him saying 'I like you and want to be your girl.' being straight to the point, but not creepy. I thought I'd done the right thing by teling him this.
Well the next day came and I had gotten no reply. I sent him a 'morning' and he sent one back saying he was in bed sick. So I left it till the afternoon, asking if he was alive (jokingly). His reply was just 'no'.
I seemed to be getting no words out of him. I was getting really anxious and felt sick every time I thought about it. I would go through the times we spent together trying to see if maybe he was sending 'mixed' signals or none at all. But all he had done told me he liked me.
The next day came and I decided not to message him, just in case he was still sick and wanted to rest. I got no texts from him that day.
Now it is today. I sent him a message saying 'Hey' and I expected no reply, but instead got a 'Hi how are you?' I was excited and replied back a few times, with him doing the same. He ended up telling my that he was going away for the weekend (some sport thing).

I couldn't stand it anymore though and ended up asking if I had said something wrong. He said no and said he just wanted to take it as it came and not jump into anything. I sent back saying that I did too and that I'd been freaking out not knowing if I had completely f****d it up completely. I told him I didn't mean a commitment.
His reply was that it was all good and we should keep doing what we are doing (not the sex part, the going slow part). I proceeded to be silly (which I tend to do when I am happy) and said that I would shut up to avoid further humiliation of myself...but I ended up sending one last text saying 'I wish you had told me you were leaving earlier, you could of had a goodbye shag'
I meant nothing really by the last text...but umm, I got no reply. So now I'm back in anxious mode, thinking I have totally f****d it up again.

I read what I wrote and think that it will be ok if I just not drop the ball on him again, but I can't help but wonder if the last text I sent him sounded clingy or just plain wrong. He has sent me similar texts to me (asking if I want to shag lol) and we usually just laugh it off. But typing has made me feel better about the situation, I just don't want him to disappear...I really do like him
Cecil1989 Cecil1989
22-25
May 17, 2012