I Think I Like Him.

It is 2 AM my time right now. As I type this, I am with him. I don't know why, but I think I like him. I don't know what to do. I told myself that I cannot date until I was ready and content with myself before sharing myself with someone else. He's on Facebook, chatting with someone. I don't like it. I think it's a girl, and I don't want him to talk to her. I want him to talk to me, but I cannot just tell him that. He is laughing and smiling his sweet smile. I cannot help but feel some sting of pain in my chest from this. Someone else is making him laugh like that. I don't think he's paying much attention to me, and it's hurting me. My APD is kicking in... I don't want him to ignore me, but I don't wish to scare him away by doing something that would completely ruin the great friendship that I have with him. I'm tired of feeling so afraid, but I can't help it. It's been a while since I actually liked someone, so having these feelings again scare me. I don't wish to get hurt again, but every situation in life is a risk, right? I just... I do not wish to base my actions on an emotion that I am not even sure is true or not. My heart likes to play games with me; I'm not sure if she can be trusted, haha. I just... I am conflicted. I am not exactly asking for help, but I am. I do not think that made any sense, so I am sorry in advance. These emotions... They hurt. *shakes head*
Destati Destati
22-25, F
Nov 26, 2012