Falling In Love But Might Never See Him Again...

I went on a solo adventure to Morocco this Christmas break, and it was definitely difficult traveling as a solo female. Keeping away from men who think they loved me without even knowing who I was.

Then when I was near the end of my trip, it was new years eve, and I was staying at a hostel near the beach, and like clockwork, I say hello to everyone I am sharing my room with and ask them for a little bit of background. I start talking to this one guy who was traveling with his friend and he started telling me about himself and I couldn't believe our similarities.

I have never met someone so similar to me, we have very similar thought processes. He was telling me his plans for the coming year, and it was something I was planning to do a year before. We have the same philosophies and I really felt we were made of the same DNA. We have the same attitude towards life as well. He even couldn't believe how similar we were. I would tell him something that I believe, and I wouldn't even need to finish because he would know exactly where I was coming from. Of course we have our differences in what opportunities we have taken and our choices in life but we have the same inclinations to things. He told me he gets obsessed with things and so do I. His friend told me he has a lousy memory, I am exactly the same. He was telling me all the things he wanted to do in life, and my ideas were so similar I really could not believe what was happening.

He heard me singing and told me I had a really nice voice. I was in love haha. We ended up jamming together, him on his guitar and me singing. It was really so much fun.

I decided to tag along with him and his friend to another beach town to go surfing, which was why I was in the first beach town to begin with. The guy that I like told me he did some surfing in Australia and would teach me. He was really patient with me and me, feeling embarrassed that he was just there trying to help me stand up instead of enjoying some surfing to himself, told him he could go and do some surfing while I practice here alone. He was adamant he wanted to help (it was also low tide so not ideal for him to surf anyway). While in the water he told me,
"don't feel bad if you can't get up the first day, it's really hard".
I replied "I'm not giving up"
He said "I have never met anyone so similar to me"
I sheepishly replied "it's cool aye!"

Now let me go over some things that may suggest he doesn't feel the same for me. Firstly, he is so cool and calm around me. Like as if we could be just really good friends. Whereas I get overwhelmed with emotion. Secondly, it is not like he wants to just be around me all the time, he decided he was going to skype someone while me and his friend went back to our hostel and didn't come back for a while even though it was my last day (not saying he should've but I am guessing if he liked me so much he would've). And later his friend told me "ooh he's speaking with a Russian girl!" as if he was rooting for something to develop between them two.

This is the first time I wasn't attracted to someone at first but after speaking for a few minutes, I fell in love with them. I am getting obsessed just thinking about him and I really don't like. I sent him an email after I left them to get back to Spain where I study, just thanking him for everything (writing in detail what I was thanking him for) and admitting not knowing how to act around him and still just trying to understand what just happened.He replied that it was really fun spending time with me and that he hopes we will meet again since we are basically 1 person. I always ignore these kinds of comments which is probably a bad idea, but I am kind of protecting myself for being hurt instinctively. Maybe I should've been more honest with how I felt.

I started to overthink the email.. that due to speaking english as a second language (although very fluent) he might not of understood how it might come across. I also find him to be very open, honest and direct. He also emphasized that he is a gentleman so maybe he was just being polite. I am really getting mixed feelings about all this and I don't remember when was the last time I have lost so much control over myself... it must be almost 10 years now.

I don't know what to do, I can't stop talking about him, thinking about him and replaying and analyzing all that has happened.This is my last resort to get everything off my mind. Could this be the love of my life? I wasn't even actively looking for love. Or is this just a cool coincidence like finding someone with exactly your name or who was born in the same hospital as you or something?
trying2smile trying2smile
22-25, F
Jan 9, 2013