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Dysfunctional

I tend to have crushes more often than most people. But having a crush just makes me so dysfunctional! I tend to spend all my time, which I don't have enough of in the first place, thinking about someone else. I think I am literally addicted to the "high" having a crush makes you experience. Romantic love, in its initial stages, releases a chemical in our body called PEA, which has been compared to the likes of cocaine in strength. In fact, infatuation affects the very same places in our brain as cocaine does. My dysfunctional childhood, which makes me more vulnerable to addictions, doesn't help matters either. This semester, I have had three serious crushes, and I am trying desperately to avoid the objects of my crushaffections. It is not always easy, especially since one of them seems to return the feeling. I saw him yesterday, and have not been able to stop thinking about him since. So right now, instead of doing my math homework, I am reading online tips on "how to get over your crush" It is all I can do to distract myself right now. I know with time, I will get better at managing my feelings, but in the meantime, I pray to God to give me the strength to "accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

bushiebushie bushiebushie 26-30, F 8 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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I completely understand! Whenever I have a crush: they take up WAY too much brain space! There are many things you can do to help that tho! One way is to distract yourself with reading, friends, homework, or hobbies. I bet whenever you're sitting on your couch doing nothing.... "The One" pops into your head. Just try to ignore it and do something that takes your mind off of things. Another thing to do is to associate with your crush a lot (not too much) but doing that will help you figure out what type of person he is and if you seriously like him or not. The last and by far the worst thing to do is to gather up every negative thing that's ever impacted you in your life and hurl it at him and let it symbolize him.... I DON'T recommend doing this...

Dear IrishEyes84, Nightless, analyzing and HalfitAll,
Thank you so much for your comments. They made my day! It is nice to know that other people are going through the same thing as I am, and that I'm not crazy after all :)

I thought it was unusual in late 20s to have a crush. So glad it's normal, and I feel ya some crushes make me feel dysfunctional as well but this one I have now I think he could be The One...who knows?? I have never felt like this about anyone before...

My life story right here. I should be writing an essay I have due tomorrow and yet, here I am on the internet drowning in self pity.

You just describe my whole life. You expressed in words what I couldn't seem to form. <br />
So yes, I agree with you, I too suffer from the high I get from having crushes. lol. Hey..I noticed this was written 2 years ago, so how did that crush go? Are you still crushing?

No analyzing. Unfortunately none of those crushes worked out. But in Nov 2010, I met a guy who I thought was the love of my life. Before I met him I didn't even know what a twin soul was, but after I met him, I started believing he was my twin soul. Anyways it turned out that he already had a gf in India for six years. He broke my heart big time, and now he is married to his gf and they live in San Jose. Meeting him was so life changing for me - I don't think I would ever be able to find anyone else with whom I could have such a mental, emotional and spiritual connection. So now I have essentially lost interest in all other men and I no longer have those numerous, intense crushes that I used to have. He broke my heart, and for two years, I could barely get out of bed in the morning, and I would cry every day for hours. I still cry for him from time to time but I think I have started to accept the fact that I might never have him in my life. Anyways, it was heart wrenching and emotionally devastating, and I don't even know how I survived it, but in the end I believe he cured me of my 'love addiction.' So now that I know how to detach from people and no longer spend all my time obsessing over crushes, I actually have more time to focus on career, ambition, achievement, and important life goals. Sometimes I am scared that I might never find someone like him again, and that I will spend the rest of my life alone, but at the same time, I am learning how to be happy in my own company and life is more serene.

You just expressed how i feel even better than me. We are in the exact same boat except i keep googling how to approach your crush.

Yeah u should say hi and just see what happens

Get over the crush say hello to him ......