Doesn't Everyone?

I refuse to believe that there is anyone who has nothing but nice thoughts all the time.  I know I don't.  The outward me is always very quiet and respectful.  I abhor confrontation and so if any arguments break out in my vincinity, I do everything in my power to quell them.

 

However, the inward 'Ryuuzaki' me is a very angry individual.  I am very good at controlling my temper, but it does not mean that I am not very angry.  I rarely even raise my voice at others, yet if someone irks me I am almost certainly plotting their demise.

 

Sometimes, I shock myself at how angry I appear when I'm blogging; other times I wish I could express my displeasure as well in talking to others...

Ryuuzaki Ryuuzaki
22-25, F
6 Responses Feb 25, 2009

Thank-you. I am nothing if not very controlled :)

AN INTERNAL CIVIL WAR ONE SIDE NEEDS TO RAISE THE WHITE FLAG.

Yup. Blogging all the way for me. On my blog, I can be as angry as I want ;)

Hey dude, yes I agree with you Ryuuzaki, that the most important thing is the awareness of it. You'll probably be a little happier if you can express it a bit more in communicating with others, but I also think this can be taken too far. I think its perfectly ok for your "outside" self to be nicer than your "inside" self - to me that seems just you trying to keep that side under control. There are other places we can more safely release dark thoughts - art, therapy, blogging etc.

That's unfortunte, ShatteredSilk, but it's good that you realise that. I think that too many people deny that they're capable of 'dark thoughts'. It's a lot healthier to come to terms with it.<br />
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Is that 'Yami no Matsuei' in your avatar, by the way? If so, great manga.

I agree. I think all of us have a dark side, whether or not it's admitted to. I discovered my dark side after a tragic time in my life.