I Think It'll Be Nice.
I've been on the outs with my boyfriend for a couple months. I love him to death when I'm with him and I do adore him but we don't work as a couple. We're just completely different people. I wonder all the time why we continue to see each other (aside from that I love him; psh) when I'm not happy in the relationship. I don't see it as worth sticking it out and hoping things get better; I'm too young and disinterested.
I've been dating lately; reminding myself how much I absolutely love being single. I've been on two terrible dates in last month. And I rarely have bad dates. I see dates as just... playdates. Lets hang out, do something fun, and either we'll like each other or want to be friends or go our seperate ways. No pressure or bullshit or expectations. I always bail on a date rather quickly when the guy can't contain nervousness or discomfort, two things that are contagious and that I wasn't feeling when I showed up. That makes me very uncomfortable and I just part ways.
I enjoy dating and I'm bummed it hasn't been going well. These dates were meant to be encouraging for me; not miserable.
Well, last week, I got an email from a guy I used to hang out with socially. I am great friends with a girl who had moved away (and is having her first baby any day now!!!) but was part of his immediate, tight-knit group of friends. We used to hang out a lot and were always flirtatious but not really anything more than that. He had emailed me a few weeks ago also but I responded once or twice, and I think I had just stopped responding. Well, he had written me again for my phone number. We had plans to meet up during tailgating last Saturday but I ended up getting sick and staying home all weekend. We exchanged goofy texts all day Tuesday and he tried making plans again but I had class that evening. So we're going to get together tonight. He's adorable; I'm delighted to get to hang out with him again. I'm SURE I'll have a pleasant date. I'm looking forward to it and have a super cute new sweater to wear. I always have a better time wearing something new. I usually buy new earrings for a date I'm looking forward to just to boost my confidence and keep me at ease but a sweater will work much better.