So Alone

my daughters have been in and out of jail for 10 years for drug abuse they need help i dont know what to do i dont have alot of money to get lawyers so its the same violation of probation there is no hope for my one daughter she will be going to prison and i really wish there was help that i could get her it breaks my heart i can onlydo so much i just dont know i am in prison myself thinking what happened what did i do wrong i need some support thanks i am sorry that i cant type either

cbusias cbusias
51-55, F
23 Responses Mar 14, 2009

... that's a common feeling ..I feel so ashamed and upset what did I do..did I fail her as a mom..but my lil girl says have hope... so hang in there..the hurt will be there but it gets easier to carry.. I could have not did this if not for GOD..if any time to cry out its now...

my heart goes out to you

Hi... Maybe she is depressive.. And that's why she is doing drugs... It's not your fault... She is ill. Do you think it's possible to getting her to a treatment? Wish you and your daughter the bests!!

Forgive me; As I kept saying he as I was thinking of my nephew and I meant she, your daughter. Happy to know that she is going to therapy. May I ask, how old is she?

I don't understand why this country keeps putting people in jail for drug use when it is therapy that they need not jail. I have a nephew who has been in and out of jail for the past 10 years for drug use and prison hasn't cured him <br />
He has 2 brothers and a sister and they don't have a drug or drinking problem, only this boy. I agree with all the posted comments my dear that you can't and shouldn't ever blame yourself. It is his choice. He has issues he needs to deal with and hopefully will get some therapy, even the 12 step program in his area which is free. It is the least he can do for himself.<br />
XXOO MUCH LOVE Montarlot

Ty Sal, Nicole is on the steets once again prostituting for crack and that is her choice ! Jails, Institutions ,Death Keep her in your prayers. Hugz, Corrina

hi sorry about your daughters drugs and prison its a sad state but , myself i have a 16 yr old boy out of control and i can feel for you , and your rite you can only do so much i beleive you did ur best as i ..but sometimes unfortunately it doesnt matter what we do ..<br />
love<br />
sal

thank you for your comments! My daughter is coming home from the hospital today. She tried to take her life by taking my medication that was hidden I am needing some support as well as my . This is a new beginning I am scared I don't know whats going to happen next. She will be going to therapy and she has been prescibed prozac for depression and klonapin for anxiety She asked me to hide the medication and give it to her as needed or should i say prescribed. I can really use some support to hep my daughter. She comes on ep once in awhile I am hoping someone out ther can be a support for her. Her name is redbullcole. PLEASE i need some help and support

my daughter is getting help but i really hope i can help but like you said its up to her god i love her i am so emotional now I fele so alone

I have been in jail a few times myself when I was a screwed up teenager... It wasn't my parents fault at all it was all my decision to stuff up the system.<br />
I don't know where you live but I live in Australia and rules are different everywhere in this world we live in...<br />
I was lucky in the end, I had a brain hemoridge, at 17 years of age without that I would of ended up in a cell all my life or in a grave one or the other...<br />
Your girls can ask 4 help, they are the only one's that can do it .. All you can do is to still love them...<br />
Look after YOURSELF because you are worthy in our eyes... Be blessed you do have a life still to be worthy..<br />
love ya heaps

Don't feel like you failed your daughters. I was brought up in a nice family, who for the most part supported me. I often felt ignored of dismissed but I think that was my teenage mind working, I don't know. But, I turned to drugs at a very early age and it wasn't until 25yrs later I learned that I was self-medicating my depression. Now that I am getting treatment for the depression, the drugs don't have a hold on me like they used to. I've been able to get clean and gain some clarity. I have forgiven my parents for whatever it was I thought they did to me, I know they did the best they could with what they knew. I love them dearly, they are my support today.

I know its a mothers natural instinct to want to take the burden of whatever their childrens problems are. But please remember you did not do this to her. My mom blamed herself for a lot of my problems and I could not tell her enough that it was not her fault!!! I did this to me and I created this situation, I was an adult and made these decisions to take my life down this horrible road. I have always had the support of my family and can never express enough that they had NO contribution to my situation. Look into state programs and county programs. I could not afford treatment either but there is help out there and people willing to work with situations. Sometimes you have to dig deep and keep pushing buttons but there is lots of help. I also got into an "NA" program that was free and some of the best support I found. Keep your chin up and moving forward

i am proud of you take make the right choise. How long have you been clean?

My mom told me the same things that you said to your daughter but it was my responsibility to decide whether to use drugs or no. I made the right choice of not using them but IT WAS MY DECISION. What I am trying to say is that you as the other mothers have told have nothing to do with it. You provide her the tools to be responsible but it was in her hands to use it or not. <br />
<br />
Take care

thanks jojo i appreciate for your support i realize the ball is in her court. Ijust have to be there for her she can only choose the direction to take this is her life and all i can do is hope this is the last chance she has with mama no more lies or drugs as long as she lives under my roof. I love her so much but realize i can't fix her and i realize this not helping her! omg i need to go to some alanon to help understand how not to be so codependent. Maybe i am the problem. but there i go again she is such a love and i want the best for her ty my friend. i have no other family support i appreciate your honest truth hurts sometimes!

That is good news. I hope everything goes well. remember, there's only so much *you* can do. It's mainly up to her! I wish you and her all the best! If you need to "talk," PM me.

she is coming home soon

Jojo is right on. I am sure that you did the best that you <br />
<br />
could do for them. There is help out there for them if <br />
<br />
they are willing to work really hard. I would just <br />
<br />
encourage them to help themselves. There is not much<br />
<br />
more that you can do at this point. I am sure that they<br />
<br />
will eventually figure it out and fly right. I am so very <br />
<br />
sorry for your heartache. Talk to me any time. Stay <br />
<br />
strong sweeheart! We love you.

C- We raise our kids. We do the best we can to instill the values and moral compass in them that they will need to be good, productive citizens of the world. When they grow up and leave us, it's out of our hands. There's nothing we can do. I totally understand a mother's love, it's the most awesome, strongest feeling in the world. We have a baby, have these great dreams of a perfect life for them and then BOOM! Everything goes frigging haywire!<br />
Oh, where did I go wrong, we ask. Well, sweetie, WE didn't go wrong, they did. We did all we could for them, gave them all the love, understanding and guidance we knew how and they messed up! As much as this hurts our heart, we have to accept things for what they are and make the best of it. You've given everything up for them, when is it your time to start living - without the guilt, with just a little sorrow because in reality, you can't change a thing. My oldest daughter is not in jail but she has been on drugs. She chooses to live with lies, deceit and delusion while I raise her 6 year old daughter. I've had to call DFACS on her, take her to rehab and everything else. I raised her but I refuse to take responsibility for what she has done with her life. She's 27 years old for pete's sake. When does it end? So, I don't mean to sound harsh, I just would love for you to see that your heartache is certainly valid but you have to let go and live for you, honey. It's your turn, you did your best. I'm here for you. PM me anytime. XX/OO Jojo

thank you!! i needed to hear that!! love you too sweet baby girl!!

I am sure you have done your best and you are a good mother for trying but sometimes you can't always do what you wish to do and life doesn't always turn out the way you plan. Don't stress too much I'm sure your daughters will learn it the hard way and it will help build their lives for the better. Also, they need their mum alive and healthy to be there for support. Take care <br />
love you

thank you for the comment you are kind

I know that but my mind wanders i cant help her she does have to take responsibility for her actions it sucks that she cant do it its gonna kill me i dont know what to do my heart is so broken love ya 2