My Daughter In Law Hates Me...This website is a great place to vent. I hope after reading what I write, I can sort thru this whole sordid affair. Right now I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. It is day 7 since the wedding from Christendom's hell. I am still in a state of grief. Not because my youngest son married a girl our family has known since she was 13 years old, but because what was once a sweet happy girl is now a sullen, complaining, unhappy, depressed, mean acting, spoiled rotten young woman. And the thing is....she knows this, her mother knows this and even my son knows this. But no ONE will stop her from taking out her feelings on me...the dreaded mother in law. Even her own mother has scolded her for how mean she has treated me in public. Am I rude to her? No. Am I pushy or sulky if she doesn't agree with me? No, but I do express my opinion if it is something that is unthoughtful or unkind to me. If it is unthoughtful or unkind to someone else, I keep quiet, mainly because I can't fight other's battles. Also, I don't want to alienate her more than I have.
How I alienated her, I have no clue. She likes my husband because he never expresses an opinion or hears a thing that goes on, plus she never had a dad and he is a good substitute. I can always tell if I am going to have a good day with her or not by her body language. She either will approach me with a smile and openly talk OR she will not have a smile, not look at me when I speak, or talk unless asked a direct question. Even then she will pretend to not hear me half the time.
She is a girl that holds grudges. When going over the guest list, she limited the number our side of the family could invite. When I put down my best friends name, she ob
At the wedding, she did not want our side of the family to attend the photo session until it was our turn. Her family was going to be there, but we were only to be there during our turn. I had a daughter that married 10 years ago and we were all there for the pictures and it added to the joy of the occasion watching our kids take the pictures. Our son reluctantly agreed we could come after his older sister asked what is the deal? But he had to promise his new wife-to-be they would go outside after the wedding and privately take their own pictures. Which they did. She didn't even want to take pictures with me. My son had to suggest it. What a joy it was!.....NOT.
It is hard to believe I have known this young woman since she was 13. She is someone I don't know at all. Her control issues did not start with the wedding. She wanted to control the bridal shower, which she was not sponsoring or paying for, and the personal shower, which she was not sponsoring. Both showers were gifts from our family. We did ask for a guest list for the personal shower and ran the decorations by her, but this was not good enough. When they took engagement pictures, we were never offered even a glimpse of them or the opportunity to purchase a copy.
After the wedding, She did not want us to see them open their gifts either, but decided we could see them open half of them...which they are suppose to do this week.
On top of all of this, She is a girl that has big legal baggage that is going to cause our son much anxiety in the near future, not to mention money he does not have, nevertheless, we supported their decision to marry. Yet, she has no appreciation for the sacrifice we are making to support them. We do not mention that sacrifice to her or them, either.
I can't trust her because of the way she has manipulated our son in the smallest of things, not to mention the larger ones, such as, she doesn't want him calling his sister very much because she doesn't like her either. (The sister and brother were abandoned children before we adopted them and have an extremely strong bond.) But she would like that to go away now. She was raised by a single mom and her father was abusive so she has trust issues anyway. My son excuses her bad behavior because of this. He thinks he will fix her. He is only 20 years old and has no clue you can't fix other people. My daughter in laws mother is very sweet and has great respect for me and my husband. She does not support her daughter's nastiness, but yet I know at some time she is going to begin to sympathize. Most mothers will. Because my husband sees nothing, hears nothing and knows nothing, I am experiencing this pain without much support. I just want to run away into the mountains and live as a hermit. Maybe then the pain will go away. I love my son so much and don't want to mar his happiness. I just want to fade away if that will help me bear this hurt I am feeling. I can't make her like me and with the way she holds grudges, this will not go away soon, if ever.....