My Story.

My son's father use to be a pretty good guy. I'm Kara and I'm 18 yrs old.
Josh was pretty much my high school sweetheart, only he wasn't always a sweetheart. During highschool my parents weren't very strict as long as I went to school and had my own money for the things I wanted they pretty much left me be, I on the other hand wish they would have been a little more involved because I was staying with my boyfriend, having unprotected sex, and hanging out with people I probably had no business being around at the time. Josh was a bad influence altogether. But you know how we've allll had our guy that was no good for us right ladies?
Josh would leave me at home to go with his friends, lie about dating me. everything all together. but he'd always come back, they always come back girls.
Anyway so things started getting good with our relationship and we had been together for three years, we started talking about marriage and having a baby, mind you I was still in highschool close to graduation but still in highschool, at that time josh had dropped out, no dipolma living with his grandma and his sister.
so we did. we had a baby. I can still remember the day I told him I was pregnant, he was so excited. To make a long story short we got our own house, moved out, he stopped partying, and we were happy. After having Oakley i don't know if he got scared or what really went wrong.. but we started fighting more and more and more. We broke up... It was the worse pain I have ever went through in my entire life. It's been a year and he's constantly trying to come back and forth in and out of our lives.
He doesn't just call to ask about Oakley or just want to see Oakley, He always makes it about us both. I love him soooooo much, that kind of love just never goes away you know?
But he's facing charges for breaking into someone's house and almost killing them, partys every single weekend, longs for any fight he can be a part of, and has sex with anything that moves.. on top of everything, his relationship with a member of his family is something I can't handle, it's beyond where it should be.
For the past couple of months he's been saying is I drop the child support he will glady sign rights to our son over, if I promise that we will never ever speak or see him again.
I don't want to make a mistake here, but I'm trying to move on with my life and give my son someone who actually speaks to him and gives him the time of day, josh doesnt.
I have a great boyfriend, who is fighting for our country actually, and I don't want to hurt him in any way. He hasnt met Oakley but when he's back from deployment that's first on his list of things to do. he's ready to pick up where an idoit left off.

what should i do?
karahii karahii
4 Responses Apr 5, 2011

You named an innocent child, Oakley? To me, that is grounds for child abuse charges. Also, the current boyfriend has never met your child. Did I read that correctly? I am hoping you've met your current boyfriend and it isn't one of those long distance correspondence romances.

I hope you stopped having unprotected sex. Sorry to disappoint you, but some of us break up with a boyfriend never to return to him -- "bad boy" or not. Take Josh to court and get child support whether he sees the kid or not. The courts will force him to pay. It is time to grow up and act like the mother you need to be. No more, "oh, I love Josh!" You don't love him -- you are lusting after him.

You are the bubble-headed breeder that gives causes men not to take women seriously when we try to succeed in something other than childbirth.

Seems like a no brainer to me. One guy just had unprotected sex and has no love for his offspring. The other guy actually seems to have a sense of care and concern for a child he had no part in making. The only thing I would be cautious of is to not let him jump in as main daddy figure unless you are pretty sure he's the real deal -- (ie, in it for the long haul). It could do more damage to be abandoned by a man who he truly got to know and whom he truly bonded with than to be abandoned by his you-know-what donor. <br />
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Just something to think about. I wish you guys the very best!

:) thankk youuuu. oakley needs this just as much as me. I just feel like josh has everything sometimes. because i mean I am the one constantly waiting for my boyfrend to come home. josh has everything right here in front of my face and its hard

Some days I think I'm just going to walk away from everything josh has ever done and it's going to be as simple as that, that he'll be out of my life forever... but Some days I think that's the worse thing I can do... to Oakley.More than anything in my entire life I want my son to have a dad, not because it's just a simple want but because it's what Oakley deserves.<br />
I love Reagan( my boyfriend ) its just hard because he isnt oakley's dad, it'll never be the same. but you're right I look at the big picture and josh isnt manning up and he isn't being here.<br />
I guess what really bothers me is trying to give a chance to someone new with Oakley when I ran out of chances to be giving a long time ago.<br />
it's all about gaining back trust, and believe me that's the hardest part aside from letting go of someone who use to be everything, that became a lost soul. my son's father is literally worthless. not because he was born that way but because he choses to be that way every morning when he wakes up.<br />
life goes on, life always goes on. :)<br />
When Reagan gets back from deployment I think I'm gonig to introduce him to Oakley and see how he reacts, he's ready to meet him.