He's a Drunken Abuser

My name is Jillian and I am currently pregnant and due in November of 2009. I had known my baby daddy for many years in school and such; never even thinking about ever "hooking up" with him.

In October 2008 after he Dated one of my good friends for almost 9 months, he got abusive toward her to the point that he sat in jail for 3 months on serious assault charges. ( i shoulda known right?)

when he got out of jail in January 2009, me and my once best friend weren't talking anymore and at that point were sworn enemies. I started working at a local store and ironically he got a maintainence job at the same store. We started to catch up on all the crap that had happend on account we both kinda hated the same girl. lol

after a short time we started dating (couldnt really believe it) i wasnt intended to be anything too serious just casual relationship... and what i thought would be a good way to get bak at my ex-BFF...we hung around random places all the time, drank almost everynight, and i guess just enjoyin life. within a few weeks he was fired from the store we worked at together for coming to work still a little intoxicated from the night before.

we had been together about a month when i found out i was pregnant. I'm only 18 turning 19, still living with my parents, never graduated high school...and now with a baby on the way that i cant possibly afford. i am pretty set against abortion for the fact that my mom actually had ovarian cancer when she was only 22 and adopted both my and my little brother. She went through a lot just to have the children she only dreamed of having herself...she's a hero in my eyes.

my baby-daddy was enthusiastic and excited about the baby coming... but thats when the problems started...

1.-he continued to drink constantly and suggested i could still drink even with the fact that i was pregnant.

2- he wasnt even  attempting to get another job...only taking money from me for cigarettes and booze all the time.

3- he made a duplicate key to my car, without my knowledge and stole my car from my workplace on several occasions...abusing my car on top of it.

4-he went into rages while he was drunk at the littlest of things... punching walls, holding a fist up to me even...

i had finally had enough... i sat before him, arms folded over my not even preturding belly yet and firmly  broke up with him. I promised that once he  stopped drinking, and attempted to get a job...and showed me he wanted to have some responcibility with the baby on the way...we could possibly get back together. His responce, i Quote -"Whats the point of us having a kid if we're not together...Move Your Arms" He raised a fist and had his eyes on my stomach as a target.

I was scared shitless but didnt show any fear. I tried to just walk/run away from him but he chased me down and bruised 3 of my ribs trying to beat my stomach...scary thing is that he wasn't drunk when any other time he had gotten this angry or abusive he was obviously very,very drunk. The next day I called his Probation officer and he was put on a 3 month probation hold with a no face-2-face contact with me...

so i continue to work 40 hrs a week, save money, and prepare to raise my Son... Kolton Dustin is going to be his name...the baby daddy had nothin to do with that one...

Now he is out of jail however...and i guess i have tried to stay on nice terms esspecially since i needed him to get a blood test for the baby's well being... we never see eachother in person but over the phone he is still the same drunken abuser that goes to AA groups drunk and tries to feel good about himself when really he is just a Dead Beat... i'm scared of being on my own here but nobody wants to date a girl that is 24 wks pregnant with a guy with a reputation like that...

BTW... me and my Ex-BFF actually started talking again after i found out my baby-daddy also had given me a case of Chlamidia that he knew before that he had... now we are friends again and have the same kinda hate for that guy... he nearly beat her to death...and he nearly killed my baby boy. so its pretty ironic how small of a world it really is... lol

if ya have read this far... thanks! and i guess if you have and advice on how i should handle it from here... give him a chance eventually? like, if he goes to anger management cuz his probation is going to require it eventually... or should i just do what i can to cut him out of my and my son's life? idk its a little confusing on account it is his son too


LuvyBlkCherry LuvyBlkCherry
1 Response Jul 14, 2009

Please please stay clear. I stayed with my dead beat dad and let me tell you five year after splitting up I still have no life. It's effected my health so bad. I have pot traumatic stress disorder agoraphobia mood effective disorder you name it. I can't leave my house as I have acrophobia I age gone from been the most likely kip ulnar person to so destitute and lonely I could go to sleep and never wake if it weren't for Mia. Bt the thought of living just to care for a toh and hate the life I live in is so unbearable. Seriously your worth so much more walk away and my daughter has had such a hard time had to see doctors. It's effected her. Get rid they are posin and even when they are well gone eh haunt your life