My son just turned three years old, and like one of his older brothers, his ***** donor couldn't care less about him, because I was smart enough to take him to court, establish custody, and request support immediately after my sons birth. In my sons entire life, he has seen his ***** donor maybe half a dozen times. That "man" (using the term loosely) moved more than that in the last 18 months!! His is now the donor to *FIVE* children. His eldest, bless that child, is autistic, and has had more "mommies" than he probably knows what to do with. His second was with the other woman who, although it took a long time, finally extinguished him from her child's life. Third boy was my beautiful son. Then, 3 months later, his daughter was born (by one of the women he was cheating on me with- also still his partner) and this past June, his fourth son was born into the world. He has his ring-less "fiance" stay home to take care of the oldest and two youngest while he pretends to look for a job or try to visit with my son, now that he has returned to the state we are (all) originally from. When my son was a few months old, ***** donor was still "paying" support and SIGNIFICANTLY in arrears for #2, and by state/county law, could not be ordered to pay more than $50 a MONTH. He's paid this maybe 6 times, and justifies the fact that THREE of the times he's seen him, he's taken him shopping, makes up for it (in three years, he has spent under $1000 on him- then still had the balls to ask if he could claim him on his returns the last two years!!!) Since the order was placed, he plead out and made an arrangement to pay a portion of his arrears, and the case was closed- two years ago.... He's changed employers atleast a dozen times, moved several, and now that support enforcement has become involved, refuses to report his employment info (when he HAS a job) and is now "looking" for a new job- off the books. He refuses to visit my son because he A) has to deal with my **** talking friends *I come from a group of people who REALLY couldn't care less about him to put the effort into gossipping about him, especially if he would make an effort to do the right thing* B) has to deal with me, his child's **** mother. In the MONTH since he's come back into state, I've tried atleast 10 times to make arrangements to meet up with him to pick up "our" child or spend a few hours atleast with him, and everytime, he had something more important to do (go to the bar, hang out with old female friends who've recently become single *convenient*, and even go driving around aimlessly, I've PASSED HIM), or he didn't have the gas to go anywhere. He argues that I wont drive "half way" to meet him, no I have, 4 of the 6 times he's seen him, and the other two I drove ALL the way to his home.... but he REFUSES to come anywhere near my house or the town I live in- he's afraid my "goonies" or the local police officers are lying in wait for him to just come within a 5 mile radius. Yeah, because I'm sure none of them have anything better to do than sit around and watch/wait for him? I finally gave up. I can't take hearing my little boy cry night after night about his daddy not being around, why he can't see him, where he is, etc. I've concluded he's just going to know him as the guy who helped make him, and helped make his brothers and sister. Nothing more. I know I don't have to worry about him taking me to court for visitation- it would mean WILLINGLY putting himself in front of a judge- so until my little man is old enough to REALLY decide for himself how he wants to handle the situation, I'm done with the bull.
Written on February 2nd, 2010