He Got a Job!!!!! This Should Be a Good Thing, Right?

I am now feeling really optimistic about it, and he has gone deeper into feeling depressed!  I tired to take him out to eat and have some beers to celebrate his getting a job after I got off work, and he wouldn't answer the phone.  I couldn't come home because I knew it would bring me down too, and I am enjoying this feeling!  I called and called and then came home to find him in bed watching tv.  He said "Well, I'm glad that YOU"RE feeling happy about it!"  Now I feel guilty for feeling happy that he got a job.

WTF!?!  How do I handle THIS? 

I want so desperately to be a good girlfriend, but I am so tired of feeling blue all the time because of the black cloud that is in our apartment!  It's not fair!

Yeah, maybe I am being selfish, but after a year of this, supporting both emotionally and financially, don't I get to be selfish?  Just for a while?

annetastic annetastic
36-40, F
3 Responses Apr 18, 2008

I know this is an old post, I just wanted to say that I totally understand what you are/were going through. I'm in a very similar situation right now. My boyfriend hasn't been diagnosed with anything, either but he's obviously depressed. He is very insecure, anxious, and an alcoholic to try to cover that. He is also very controlling and short tempered. His moods put a damper on most of my days and I love him and want to help him cheer up. I want us all to be happy! If you still get these messages, I'd love to hear an update.

Thank you. Sorry for not saying that first. <br />
It is me being a bit selfish because I want him to be happy and I know that with depression, it's not about me, it's about the depressed person, but I needed to say that and to be acknowledged, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing that for me!<br />

Why do I feel so guilty then?<br />
I wish I could do something to help. I know I can't, but god, I feel like an *** for being happy in our home.