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I Have a Depressed Boyfriend

Not Sure How To Deal With It

By: pennys1085
Written on August 13th, 2012
Well, my situation is rather long and complicated. I am in a relationship with a man that I met 7 years ago but didn't last at that time because he joined the military and long distance love did not work out at 18 yrs old. Fast forward 7 yrs, we reconnected thru FB, I was super happy to know about him. At that time I was getting separated from my husband for domestic violence. Seeing him was just so awesome but I didn't have any expectation of being together. Anyways after a few weeks of hanging out and talking, we decided to retake the relationship. With time, he fold me he suffers from depression. He is been to Iraq, his ex cheated on him while he was there and she had an abortion and blamed it on him. All these happened 4 years ago or so. Still today, he deals with feeling of guilty and still gets depressed over his ex cheating on him. He says that it was all part of the experience of being in Iraq. I don't know what to think or deal with he fact that he gets sad over his ex. Does he still have feelings for her? I wonder over and over. Please some advise!!
By: pennys1085
Age: 26-30 , Female
94 people have read this story

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9 responses
  • Kman4You
    Kman4You

    Dont get involved with that, More problems than you need, I promise you that. He needs to fix himself first before he can start to even think of being with someone else. This is not fair to you

    May 10
    1 like
  • incurableromantic
    incurableromantic

    Maybe he hasn't been dealing with that and over the years it became bigger for him this issue...people who are depressed are tricky to be around...the trick is to understand how deep the roots of their problems are,get them to see a therapist and know that their mood swings is not your fault...message me if you need something,i know this is very diffficult...

    Sep 4, 2012
    2 likes
    • pennys1085
      pennys1085

      Thanks so much. I think I'm getting better at dealing with it now.

      Sep 4, 2012
      1 like
  • Unique4real
    Unique4real

    His whole idea of getting upset and sad when think about ex was the way that came to him for going into war and then find out he lost few things cos of it, as lost a child that he thought that he would have after being in military service and also the cheating that happened behind his back while he was away.I know that his depression will need time to let him get back to relationship as he needs therapy and to led things out and i always say if you are not ready for any relationship don't start one especially when have a lot of doubts and can't settle down so just give him space and time and make him know that you are there for him to talk and make him start feeling comfortable while stay with you so things will get much better in the coming weeks.

    Aug 26, 2012
    2 likes
    • pennys1085
      pennys1085

      Thanks For your comment. I do agree in letting things kind of take their time. I am much aware now his condition Now and I think I have a better idea how to deal with it

      Aug 27, 2012
      1 like
    • Unique4real
      Unique4real

      You are welcome, and that is good to know what are you having there to deal with right and never get things messed up .I wish you two the best of luck.

      Aug 27, 2012
      1 like
  • Stardancer29
    Stardancer29

    His depression is common and very very hard to get over. Some never do. Support him with all your love and if he's not already in counseling, it's something he should seriously consider.

    Aug 21, 2012
    2 likes
  • Stardancer29
    Stardancer29

    Have you point blank asked him if he still has feelings for her? I don't know your whole situation, but I would wonder if it's more the being cheated on while he went through such a exhausting and horrible experience(Iraq) is bothering him more than the ex herself.

    Aug 21, 2012
    1 like
    • pennys1085
      pennys1085

      I have asked face to face and he claims that he not longer has feelings for her. I sometimes think that the whole Iraq thing, he lost a friend there and coming back was not easy for him. I will never understand but I guess I just have to trust him...

      Aug 21, 2012
      1 like