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Not Sure How To Deal With It

Well, my situation is rather long and complicated. I am in a relationship with a man that I met 7 years ago but didn't last at that time because he joined the military and long distance love did not work out at 18 yrs old. Fast forward 7 yrs, we reconnected thru FB, I was super happy to know about him. At that time I was getting separated from my husband for domestic violence. Seeing him was just so awesome but I didn't have any expectation of being together. Anyways after a few weeks of hanging out and talking, we decided to retake the relationship. With time, he fold me he suffers from depression. He is been to Iraq, his ex cheated on him while he was there and she had an abortion and blamed it on him. All these happened 4 years ago or so. Still today, he deals with feeling of guilty and still gets depressed over his ex cheating on him. He says that it was all part of the experience of being in Iraq. I don't know what to think or deal with he fact that he gets sad over his ex. Does he still have feelings for her? I wonder over and over. Please some advise!!
pennys1085 pennys1085 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 13, 2012

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Dont get involved with that, More problems than you need, I promise you that. He needs to fix himself first before he can start to even think of being with someone else. This is not fair to you

Maybe he hasn't been dealing with that and over the years it became bigger for him this issue...people who are depressed are tricky to be around...the trick is to understand how deep the roots of their problems are,get them to see a therapist and know that their mood swings is not your fault...message me if you need something,i know this is very diffficult...

Thanks so much. I think I'm getting better at dealing with it now.

His depression is common and very very hard to get over. Some never do. Support him with all your love and if he's not already in counseling, it's something he should seriously consider.

Have you point blank asked him if he still has feelings for her? I don't know your whole situation, but I would wonder if it's more the being cheated on while he went through such a exhausting and horrible experience(Iraq) is bothering him more than the ex herself.

I have asked face to face and he claims that he not longer has feelings for her. I sometimes think that the whole Iraq thing, he lost a friend there and coming back was not easy for him. I will never understand but I guess I just have to trust him...