Going Crazy

I am in a tough situation and I'm not sure what to do.  My mother-in-law has always been a challenge but now my husband's entire family stopped talking to us.  About 6 months ago we built a home.  It's nice and new, but nothing extravagant.  Since then, the in-laws rarely talk to us. They are very negative, say that we won't be able to afford it, we're in over our heads.  My husband's brothers are very nosey about how much money we make, etc.  None of their business, but money is the most important to them.  My MIL and FIL think that I am only nice to them because I want money.  If I send a birthday card, it's because I want money. In fact, my BIL laughs when his friends lose their job or is in financial trouble.  HIs entire family completely rips on my family.  They are so negative.  My family has never said anything bad about them.  My family does not focus on money but are for the most part positive, and we're happy for each other when they get a raise at work, or buy a new house.  It seems like my inlaws are jealous?? My sister-in-law (BIL wife)never speaks to me either.  Now, our kids are young and we have birthday parties, baptisms, etc., coming up and I don't want to invite my in-laws, but am I obligated to since they are family? 
momof21177 momof21177
26-30, F
3 Responses May 21, 2007

I have a very simular situation. Got married 3 months ago. Before the wedding my MIL and myself got along like a house on fire. No problems at all. Two months ago the trouble started. Intevering between my husband and myself and our financial situation. We are working with my parents and is also busy building a little house. Suddenly it's a problem for MIL. Does he have a contract with my parents? What if they don't want him there anymore? Is he getting his salary? So last week I just lost it and gave her a piece of my mind. Now I feel bad but just could not take it anymore. She expects me to forget about my family and to put her first. And everything is just about money to her. So I told her; family comes first. They look after you when you're in trouble. Life isn't about money. Now of course I sit with a MIL that is sulking and who is calling everyday and each time my husband must hear about my tantrim. Luckily he understands.

I think some MIL's hate the fact that you have a bigger influence over their boys or are a bigger part in their lives. I wish i could say it gets better but i cant , i have been married 10 years and the bitterness and resentment just keeps building. If i could shut her out completely i would in a second. I do however limit her in my life.<br />
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If she is this much of a negative person consider it a blessing that you have little contact with her. My mom always tells me" happiness and living your life is the best revenge" <br />
Best of luck

First of all, you have my sympathy. I have difficult inlaws too so I understand what you are going thru.<br />
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I do think they are jealous of you. Keep doing what you are doing. Remember you, your husband and children are your family. If the inlaws want to behave and be privledged to be a part of YOUR family, then they can come to the birthdays and baptisms, etc. If they're going to come and ruin the special days for you, your husband or chlidren, then they can stay off the guest list. Maybe it's better that they aren't talking to you - it's an easy excuse to keep them off the guest list.<br />
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Stay strong.