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The Interesting Case Of The Disemodied Mummy's Hand.

Hi all...

I have been an independent woman for quite a number of years, and although I have a modest income I have saved a little bit for treats for myself. About 5 months back I started dating a man who, it turned out, was on benefit. I have since lived pretty much within my means, helping him out with car tax and keeping him fed and watered (he pretty much lives at mine now but he cooks, drives me everywhere and looked afte rme when I was off work so I am very grateful.

Anyway, my dilemma is that last week his benefit was stopped after a medical exam, and now he has no income at all. I on the otherhand, found an auction on the internet where a Mummy's hand, supposedly belonging to Cleopatra, is for sale in a presentation box, with letters and provenence etc. I LOVE weird and interesting stuff, and this is a one off. I have placed a bid on it of quite a large amount of money for me (although I can cover it no problem), but I haven't told him or anyone else. I feel bad that I have this bid on the hand wjhile my BF is facing some problems.

I have told him that I won't see him on the streets, or starving, or anything like that, but I am NOT going to dig him out of any mess he causes himself. I have also told him that we have to curb any spending as a lodger recently left and it's not as easy as it was.

Should I pull the bid or let it go?
speshalkay speshalkay 46-50, F 3 Responses Dec 13, 2010

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its a few mts on now how did it work out for you.

You are right. I forwarded him some volunteer info today, and I think I may suggest he sells his car (he can use mine) get rid of his flat which he won't be able to keep if he looks for work, and then moves in properly. It's not ideal, but it means he can break the trap he is in. Once he got out and about he should get better.<br />
<br />
x

Resentment can only grow in this relationship if he does not contribute fairly. You will become his mother not his lover.<br />
It can be fine if he actually does a lot of things for your relationship which cost him no money, only his effort. <br />
But I would highly recommend that he find some kind of employment for his own self esteme other wise you may always be 'carrying' him. I know it is very difficult to find paid employment at the moment (and especially if he has been on benefits) but an unpaid job volenteering can provide just as much self esteme and practical work skills. In time he may find paid employment through such a job.