New To Did

Although I had no idea what it was called, I knew something was very strange with my life. Lost time and behavior outside of what I would normally ever do preceded the final diagonosis. The weird thing for me is that I am 41 years old. I would think I would have known this so much sooner. It's like putting pieces of a puzzle together. I am in shock and relieved at the same time. I am glad their is a name for it and that I don't have to feel insane anymore.

Last year, when I realized the voices in my head actaully had names, I was freaked beyond belief. I locked myself away from everyone trying to make sure and protect the secret  I was sure would land me in a hospital. As time has passed, I have not only grown to work together with the girls that live inside of me, I have actaully grown fond of them. So much so, that now that I have been diagnosed, I don't think I want to be fixed. The person closest to me has also helped with this process is also fond of them and willing to spend the rest of his life with all of us.

Is that wrong to be attached to them? If we can all work together, why can't they stay? Anyone else feel this way?

michellesgirls michellesgirls
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 3, 2010

I've gotten to like mine too, even the one who's given me physical scars and the other who's given others physical scars to try to make them stay away. I like them! I kinda want them to stay but I know they have to go if I'm ever going to have a normal life with my boyfriend. Mine are all girls as well. I have no idea how I'm gonna go about treating this. How in the world do you integrate alters?

Definanatly. We have a system, it is not perfect but it works most the time. We have lived this way for so long and now we are much older we do not know how we could truely function otherwise. I am constantly amazed that others go thru life not like this in someway. <br />
It is good you have someone who accepts and helps you deal with the many sides of you, most of us are not so fortunate. My wife not so open about it or liking it at all. Most the people I have been around most my life have always kept their distance, now I am learning why. When others try and figure us out they can not just pin us into a easy box. We are so different inside and swing in different directions have different opinons, different ways of talking that most the people we know just can not deal with it. It is like if they can not peg us as a specific individual they do not want to be around us for very long. Sorry rambling again. But yes I think if you and your different parts get along and you do not suffer you should have the choice to be as you are. Be sure to find a therapist who agrees with you and can take you thru steps to make the most out of your specific system.