Male Anorexia

I've lived with it for 5 years and still suffer from it, my worst was when I was 82lbs at age 14...it all began as a child, my parents are overweight and still are and as a kid I remember dieting as being a way of life, to no supprise I too became overweight as a kid when I was 7 I remember being 150lbs with the fattest face and a Belly that hung over my belt I always felt so embarrassed however over the summer before middle school I stoped eating I had the worst father he ran our family business which made nearly 80,000$ a month...you thought money brought happiness...will ha think again I lost over 70lbs and looked like a ghost thankfully my skin shrank and did not sag...however being anorexic sucked and so I became bulimic yeah this lasted for a while I did not push my self to any extreams with this however my life soon took a turn for positive I made a new friend I enjoyed his company like any 13 year old would being a only child we did everything together like we were brothers from another mother however he soon befriended me and at the same time my dad sold the family business and had to use the assets to pay government taxes and so now we were broke and had no income down from 80grad a month to just 6grand that's not even going to cover our mortgage,at least our cars were paid off...and so the battle began a personal battle between me and the bills, life felt seemingly effortless when we had our business now my dad claims he cannot work because of his Glaucoma and my mother is a foreign housewife that cannot speak the best English (sorry ma) and so here I am watching all my so called friends rub how rich they are in my face I feel so insulted you wouldn't believe what they brag about how big their houses are, how nice their iPads/iPhonesare how fancy their cars are and how they can rub how nice they look because they can afford to do so, I haven't been able to buy new clothes in 2 years thank goodness I haven't grown yet. lately I have fallen into depression as I have had to pay more bills with my limited resources, I try my best but I hate when my dad says il pay for things... I've paid for gas groceries utilities my prepaid iphone...life is ruff just dreaming about being able to pay the bills and more has become a way to alive my endless stress...I have now a life of no money and limited everything I'm so thankful for what I do have however the societal pressures that I face by my fake friends crushes my heart and burns anger in my soul...in dreams I envision a Chauffeur opening my door and my nanny returning to help out around the house, not being late on the mortgage and having the latest and greatest alas I have no friends and feel so worthless in life as I strive for perfection and no one cares my parents don't even come to my honor roll assemblies and they don't even work I have a 4.3 and take 4 AP classes one day i will reap revenge and rub my wealth in the face of those that flaunted theirs in mine...someone please be my friend­čś¬
Waistline Waistline
31-35, M
Dec 15, 2012