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She's Just...

My dog is a rescue - we're not sure what she is (spaniel and... something bigger, at least. houndish? pitbullish? maybe both?), or how old she is (we think she was about 4 when we got her, so she'd be about 6 now), and we have no idea anything about her past. However, we do know that she's "different" than other dogs.

For one, she's even too excitable for other dogs. The vet says he's never, ever seen a dog so happy to be at the vet's. Dogs bigger than her get intimidated upon meeting her. She's been jumped and run away from, fought with, nipped. She just exudes this "I'm happyyyyyyy and have no social skills, but I'm happyyyyyyyyy!" attitude. I think they call this "irrational exhuberance".

We're not so sure she got to see the outside much, and we don't think she saw many people or other dogs at all. Everything seems so new and exciting to her. She gets desperately lonely with nobody around, and can't be left alone in small quarters. She'll either hurt herself trying to escape, lose her voice whining and howling, or wreck everything she comes in contact with.

When we got her, she'd been living with our neighbours for a couple days locked on their back deck in the scorching heat. She spent those couple days barking and trying to escape without a break. We talked to them, or at least tried to, and found out somebody moved back to China and gave them the dog. They had no idea what to do with it... wouldn't let it in the house. Almost seemed afraid of her. Probably were. Tried using a broomstick to make her stop barking. Eventually, I called the SPCA and talked to them about it. Turned out the guy had just called them himself, and was going to bring her in. I went around and asked him if we could have her instead, and it was a done deal. When we got her home, she was skinny and so tired she basically slept for 2 days. We mistook that for her being behaved. She didn't make any trouble at all! Hah.

The first taste of trouble came shortly after. I thought she's so needy, I can bring her out into the back yard with me, and she can lie around and watch me pick figs... I turn my back for 10 seconds, and she's gone down the back driveway... I go to look, and am almost run down by a gigantic fat grey cat with Roxy on its tail. The thing runs around the house. I get around the house behind them, and there's Roxy sitting nicely at the bottom of a power pole 2 houses down... and the cat digging its claws in 20 feet up. That, combined with her trying to yank our arms off on walks so she can escape to go smell everything meant the end of leashless Roxy.

Once, when I was in the middle of moving out of my parents' house, and was sleeping in a different room after I moved my bed, Roxy got herself trapped in my old bedroom. She freaked out, of course. Tore everything in there up. Not literally, for the most part, except she'd torn down my curtains. Everything was everywhere. Of course, I didn't notice anything missing. But in the back of my mind, I knew I had certain things "hidden" around there where she could have gotten them, and was thinking I should check... Of course. She'd run off with my vibrator. I go upstairs, and sure enough, it's sitting in the middle of the dining room table. I utter obscenities, pocket it quickly, and escape. Later, my mother laughs at me and comments that Roxy brought her a present this morning... I tell her "Let's never speak of this again," and walk off.

At another point in time, we had her with us, and we decided to go to McDonalds. We couldn't leave her in the car, because she's well, her. However, it was fine, cause they had a patio we could sit on. My boyfriend went to go order some food, and I went to go tie her to the table. I struggled a bit, and she was sitting nicely, so I decided to make things a bit easier and let go of her collar for a split second so I could pull the leash around. In that split second, she was off. Yummy smells coming from over there! She got to the door and sniffed around the outside. Then somebody was dumb enough to OPEN the door to McDonalds. TO THE KITCHEN! My boyfriend caught her *just* in time to stop her running under the counter to go trash the kitchen and eat everything in McDonalds. That one was a close call.

Another time, my dad was down working in the garage. I didn't know he had the garage door open, and went down with Roxy. She had a rash on her neck, so she didn't have her collar on... and the neighbours had a German Shepherd chained up on their back porch... and a really bad fence that even giant, clumsy Roxy could fit through. Of course, I wasn't wearing shoes, and wasn't quite as prepared to make the 4 foot climb onto their property as she was. As soon as she got to the other dog, it started barking its head off. The owner came out, and as soon as he opened the door, Roxy was off into his house, probably after their breakfast. She came out a minute later being chased by another guy. The younger one was in his pajamas, but still spent a good few minutes wrestling with Roxy to pick her up and throw her back over the fence to me. She's a heavy, squirrelly, awkward thing. I would have laughed if I wasn't already in so much trouble. Let me tell you, it's hard to explain and apologize with no common language.

And then there are the little things like stealing the roast off the counter, or wrecking the blinds trying to catch a crow through the front window, or eating children's ice cream cones at the park. Or bounding down the middle of the road through the snow because it looks fun. Or hiding ham, cheese or treats in people's beds instead of eating them.

She may be "misguided", but she's good times. Somebody should really tell her milk bones are for eating, not carrying around and hiding, though.

sombrehippie sombrehippie 22-25, F 3 Responses May 11, 2008

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I know it's been a while since you wrote this, but I just stumbled upon it -- and glad I did!! Thanks for sharing! What a character!

Have you heard of Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer"? Sounds like a trying case, even for him. LOL!

You should consider yourself lucky that she's a canine and not a child! I seriously know people with kids like that ... one in particular came to mind when I read the line, "I'm happyyyyyyy and have no social skills, but I'm happyyyyyyyyy!" Hah! I just about fell off my chair laughing!