Black Sheep

As far back as I can remember I've always been told or made to feel like I wasn't wanted by my parents and siblings. I used to get beatings daily slapped in my face hair pulled out punched kicked the whole nine yards. I was constantly told that I was stupid and that I would never amount to anything. I have minor learning disabilities but I don't consider them to be anything more than challenges that I can work with. My parents would tell me how they wished I was never born or that they cursed the day I was born. It was a horribly lonely existence knowing I had absolutely nobody in my corner. My oldest brother was good to me while he was still at home by protecting me from my parents abuse by taking it himself. Having mentally I'll parents didn't help either so I went to live with relatives in another state. I was then able to learn that a family can be a good thing and I would have stayed with them if it weren't for my parents interfering with me being adopted by them( my aunt and uncle). the rest of my childhood wound up being a fight for survival and because of that I have PTSD. My parents are now long gone but I still have my siblings. They don't pay any attention to me if there's family visiting they have dinners and gatherings without me and I find out from outsiders about it. Nobody EVER picked up the phone unless I call first and when my niece had her baby I never got a call. I had to find out on Facebook. I was livid! I would never do that to my family, yet they seem to feel like it's ok to crap all over me. I'm not that "child" I used to be . I'm a grown wife, mother, and grandmother who taught her kids better than that. I also have one college degree and am working on another. So if anyone is the dummy here it's not me it's THEM.
Gitrgrl61 Gitrgrl61
46-50, F
Aug 1, 2010