Fetch And Tug-of-war

I was crying the whole day after my sister left for school. And my dogs never left my side. I was feeling so terrible and lonely, and so many things were going thru my head but I couldn't really think straight. I felt so confused and bothered, but I didn't know what was going on. It was as if I felt I was crazy.

My eyes were red and swollen, and I haven't eaten anything the whole day. I haven't had sleep in two straight nights despite feeling so exhausted. I felt like I was going mad, and I felt dead in a way. My mind wasn't just its normal those few days.

When I finally had no more tears to shed and had the urge to stop crying, I felt one of my dogs nudging me. As if she wanted to tell me something. She never left my side, as if telling me "everything's going to be alright. I am here." She just laid her head on my lap and closed her eyes.

I didn't want to personify it, but my dogs were all I had at that time. I was in a very dark place in my mind, and they were trying to be my guide dogs leading me to a brighter side.

Hours later, after getting freshened up a bit, they were tailing me wherever I went and were wagging their short little tails. One took her squeaky bouncy tennis ball, and the other took her tiger rag-doll rope and were making growly, "notice me". "let's play" sounds.

We started out playing fetch with the rope and ball, then ended up with them playing tug-of-war with each other on the rope. I couldn't help but smile.

No words could have brought comfort to me at that time. And it was just that little nudge and playtime from my sweetest little friends that truly never left my side.

A week after, I talked to my mom, and we decided that I talk to a therapist. And that is why I am getting help.
lonelydinosaur lonelydinosaur
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

Why were you crying, if you do not mind me asking?

I was pretty tough on myself. And someone who was also tough on me made me feel like I'm worthless, and it somehow made sense. So it got me all confused and self-doubt started to sink in. Followed by the stock pile of loneliness. But my dogs always come to my rescue.